I think I need therapy again

Old 02-14-2014, 10:36 AM
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I think I need therapy again

I think I need to go to therapy again I cant just dump everything on my sponsor it is not fair to her. I tell her everything though. I would focus on stuff that is not recovery related though. I love my current therapist though but it would make it hard to work with her because she is in recovery too has 11 years so I feel she would talk AA stuff with me when I want to only focus on that with my sponsor. It is time to talk to my sponsor and psychiatrist and see if I can get a therapist who isn't in recovery.
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Old 02-14-2014, 01:00 PM
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Join Date: May 2013
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A professional therapist shouldn't self-disclose (share information about herself) unless she has a sound reason for doing so that she thinks will help with you treatment. You may want to make sure the therapist you are seeing adheres to the ACA code of ethics, which she should have disclosed to you during your first session. If she doesn't you may consider shopping around, or bring up the subject during your next session. She may have a good reason for taking this approach, but if it doesn't work for you and she's a pro, she'll want to know that.

As far as sponsors go don't worry about "dumping" on her - living in sobriety and sharing with your sponsor means talking about all sorts of things other than drinking. After all, a lot of us have "living" problems, not just a "drinking" problem Your sponsor will let you know if she's overwhelmed - remember by working with her you are helping her stay sober too.
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Old 02-14-2014, 01:04 PM
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Have you talked to your current therapist about this? Has this already been a problem (her focusing only on your recovery), or is this just a problem you think will happen?

When I first got sober, I started therapy at the same time as I started AA. It was really confusing, because I kept getting conflicting advice. I (probably unwisely) decided to quit therapy abruptly. It would have helped me a lot if my therapist had an understanding of the program. Like you, I wouldn't have wanted to focus on it, but I don't think he understood what I was trying to accomplish in AA.

Six years later, I am considering therapy again, and I am dreading the time and effort and awkwardness that comes with finding a new therapist. I have never done well with therapy, and it is so hard to find someone I can trust. So if I had someone I got on well with, I would not want to start over. But that's just me.

I applaud you for examining things and taking action to improve your life. That is so hard to do sometimes!
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Old 02-14-2014, 02:01 PM
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Saw a therapist recently, and he was a warm, empathic, caring and knowledgeable man. However, he had no understanding of AA, or recovery. For me, that didn't work, and ditto with other brief therapy undertaken - spoken to some absolutely loving and compassionate people, but it wasn't the same.

Having encountered therapists in the past who are in recovery, and who have that understanding and life experience is actually now a personal preference, because in the contrast, it felt like something really important was missing. There is something about that sense that the person in front of you has been in a similar place, rather than having just experienced decades of 'client' work.

And having said all that, it really does depend too on the fit with actual person, as a person. Disclosing uncomfortable things (which is generally what therapy does) needs to be in the presence of someone I can develop trust with, whom I can believe really understands me.

Wish you well, and good on you for your willingness to keep going with this. Therapy is not easy, and takes lots of courage.
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Old 02-14-2014, 06:24 PM
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If you don't like your therapist, by all means get a new one...However, I'm not sure you can separate your drinking from your other concerns? Perhaps it's better to understand yourself and your thoughts as a whole and the behavioral outcomes of that thinking, rather than by piecemeal? I don't know....
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Old 02-14-2014, 06:28 PM
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Step back ,take a few deep breaths ,and say F- it .

That's all that keeps me semi- sane .
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Old 02-15-2014, 02:08 PM
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My sponsor says she would rather me dump everything on her then on innocent "regular" people. Hehe.
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