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How did you fill the void?

Old 02-13-2014, 05:16 PM
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How did you fill the void?

What did you guys find activity and hobby wise to occupy what would otherwise be drinking your self stupid time?

My dog has never had some much exercise in his life!...I think he's getting fed up now.

I've also been saving what I would have just wasted on booze, turns out it was lot! and brought a whopping great telescope. The thing is actually bigger than my girlfriend is tall

I often sit out back for hours in the cold I love it!
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Old 02-13-2014, 05:26 PM
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Hitting the gym almost daily. Training for a 10k in April.
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Old 02-13-2014, 07:29 PM
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My "void" to use that term, wasn't one that could be filled with doing activities or hobbies. I did plenty of stuff when drinking. I had to fill the void with the things alcohol took away. Compassion, gratitude, humility. I had a spiritual void.

I had to learn to embrace the things I used alcohol for...or at least learn that whatever I was hiding from couldn't kill me--shame, discomfort, remorse, and guilt about my moral failings.

I guess I could have gone to the gym or taken a class. But neither was a recovery plan that would keep me sober.
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Old 02-13-2014, 07:29 PM
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I got a life.
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Old 02-13-2014, 07:32 PM
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The gym and obtaining a fitness goal.
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Old 02-13-2014, 07:53 PM
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I spent a lot of time looking under the bed for monsters. I had no idea how to live life as a sober adult. The exercise, hobbies, even my new job, those things just kind of happened. The stuff that really filled the void was all going on upstairs in the coconut. It's been less exhausting as of late, thank goodness.
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Old 02-13-2014, 08:08 PM
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Yoga, Pilates, meditation, and movies!
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Old 02-13-2014, 08:25 PM
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Gym. work in the garden, bike riding, anything. As soon as someone mentions doing something i am like lets go. I do so muck more when i am sober
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Old 02-13-2014, 09:03 PM
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Originally Posted by robbo98 View Post
What did you guys find activity and hobby wise to occupy what would otherwise be drinking your self stupid time?
Hey robbo, opposite here..

I was very active in sports(hockey) and hobbies while drinking everyday for most of my life. Now that i've gotten sober - not so much. I've stopped allot of things altogether(for now anyway). Drinking made me aggressive. Now i'm ''mellow''. Its okay though. I'm fine with living this sober life, and its very relaxing at times. No more trouble.

That. And Golf. Been playing quite a bit lately...

Keep your dog pissed off with you! haha. right on robbo..
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Old 02-13-2014, 10:55 PM
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Hi Robbo,
Sobriety has the added bonus of having extra time, extra energy and never getting bored. I read a lot, meditate, do DIY stuff I've been putting off a long time, meditate and get lots of exercise. I'm training for Tough Mudder so some sort of cardio or gym work almost daily.
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Old 02-14-2014, 02:31 AM
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I had to learn to connect and feel with others, get stuff sorted out (back taxes, neglected house stuff) got a bit fitter. Took up guitar again and learned to write some songs, which i am recording. Now playing in a band, and riding my bike a lot.

Now i am living not just working and drinking. It takes time
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Old 02-14-2014, 09:04 AM
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You know what, I've not tried to fill the void alcoholism created in me, this void still exists today in many ways, and will continue right up to my physical death I imagine. Its important for me to realise the damage done, and the void keeps me in touch with all that. I'm a recovered alcoholic drug addict, and its not like I'm holding on, or holding back, its just that my alcoholism illness is not cured. In this way it yet exists. In fact, there is only one thing I know of that can fill the alcoholic void perfectly and that is alcohol itself. I know I'm talking different then most others, and I'm used to all that, lol.

We're not all alcoholics. And we're not all recovered. Many persons get on fine just quitting and changing their behaviors and what-not. Other persons confirm they are alcoholic and they choose to stay in a formal recovery for the rest of their lives with that void filled spiritually or elseways. No problem. Me, I'm recovered from my alcoholism which means I now live a life which could be lived as if alcoholism never happened to me. How nifty, lol. Still though, it did happen, and the holes it left are what they are, and having the humility to accept what I cannot change is worth more to me then trying to figure out how to fill those bottomless abysses.

In most regards I would be considered a success story, and in fact my backstory only makes my success even more remarkable. I'm proud and grateful I've come from my yesterdays and arrived in my todays and I look forward with excitement to my tomorrows. Life is what we make out of it, and in all cases without exception imo what we do with what we got is what brings out our best. I am a spiritual person, and in fact my alcoholism only makes me even more spiritually minded even though I don't seek to fill it or otherwise walk away from its existence. As a recovered alcoholic I'm an agnostic in my sobriety, and as a man I'm Christian in my faith. I walk my journey with alcoholism well arrested in my sober psyche and physical body. My alcoholic mind is asleep and powered down. Life empowers me in ways that sustain me and my dreams really do and have come true. Not without cost though, like I was saying. I'm now in a wheelchair and crutches not directly from alcoholism, and yet alcoholism absolutely helped put me in this chair. I have a somewhat uncommon backstory. Its complicated, lol.

Hey, whatever works for you is what you must put everything you got into your new life because a lot of people just settle too early, and in doing so they miss out on a whole other adventure just around the proverbial corner.

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Old 02-16-2014, 09:24 AM
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Discovering and trying to fill this "void" in wrong ways for all those years was one of the most essential realizations in my life. I used to attempt to fill it with drinking, all sorts of weird and secretive activities and affairs, and most importantly: endless mental activity, overthinking and overanalyzing everything constantly. Almost every activity I chose was overly intellectual while minimizing my most basic physical needs... always feeling learning yet another new thing, new expertise, new eccentric thought system, etc were an absolute necessity that would lead me to satisfaction eventually. Wrong, in my case. It is exactly the over-thinking and getting stuck in constant mental hyperactivity that has to be transformed for me. Balanced.

I am finding that I need to do a lot of hard self-work to change this pattern. Giving up the alcohol was actually one of the easier tasks compared with trying to change all the old ingrained, fear-based self-defenses. So what I am trying to do now is to take it simple for the moment: focus on my physical needs (diet, exercise, trying to set up a more regular schedule), connect with more people in "ordinary" ways, just try to live a more conventional life instead of all the eccentricities that had isolated me from the rest of the world so long.

Also, I am realizing more and more that the "void" is actually normal and does not necessarily need to be filled with substitutes that we artificially infuse with "meaning".... Just let it be, just view it. Buddhists ideas of emptiness have been helping me accept this... and meditation.

I think we all got to find our own ways to this universal feature of human nature...
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Old 02-16-2014, 09:30 AM
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I first went to a lot of meetings. That didnt work. I then did few meetings, that didnt work. I tried to work the steps, in order and not delay. That worked. Then my body was craving sugar from all the vodka coolers I was drinking, so I had sugar candy on me at all times. I then got a lunch pale and found work. Between the job, the sponsor, working the steps, going to meetings, service work, helping others I was recovered.
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Old 02-16-2014, 09:35 AM
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Started biking and running which helped with recovery and getting back into dirtbike racing
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Old 02-16-2014, 09:37 AM
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Originally Posted by haennie View Post
Discovering and trying to fill this "void" in wrong ways for all those years was one of the most essential realizations in my life. I used to attempt to fill it with drinking, all sorts of weird and secretive activities and affairs, and most importantly: endless mental activity, overthinking and overanalyzing everything constantly. Almost every activity I chose was overly intellectual while minimizing my most basic physical needs... always feeling learning yet another new thing, new expertise, new eccentric thought system, etc were an absolute necessity that would lead me to satisfaction eventually. Wrong, in my case. It is exactly the over-thinking and getting stuck in constant mental hyperactivity that has to be transformed for me. Balanced.

I am finding that I need to do a lot of hard self-work to change this pattern. Giving up the alcohol was actually one of the easier tasks compared with trying to change all the old ingrained, fear-based self-defenses. So what I am trying to do now is to take it simple for the moment: focus on my physical needs (diet, exercise, trying to set up a more regular schedule), connect with more people in "ordinary" ways, just try to live a more conventional life instead of all the eccentricities that had isolated me from the rest of the world so long.

Also, I am realizing more and more that the "void" is actually normal and does not necessarily need to be filled with substitutes that we artificially infuse with "meaning".... Just let it be, just view it. Buddhists ideas of emptiness have been helping me accept this... and meditation.

I think we all got to find our own ways to this universal feature of human nature...
What a great post.
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