trio313

I have 30 c/s days.going to meet some family in a week or 2.they no im trying to stay c/s but keep sayin when u get here we goin to have some cocktails. DIDNT U JUST HEAR ME IM TRYING TO REMain c/s.whats ur opinion on someone pushing for a drinking buddy.how do I handle the lets go to happy hour, bbq & beers, etc.etc

Raider

Say......thanks I don't drink.

DG0409

If you think it will be a tempting situation, how about just not going?

Dee74

I wouldn't visit family like that too early in my recovery Trio.

D

least

That isn't very supportive. I wouldn't go visit them if I were you.

SoberLeigh

Your friends probably just don't quite understand yet either the extent of your issues with drinking or your determination to stop. Try and have some pre-set defenses in your back pocket for not joining in the drinking activities. I started with the "I'm not drinking these days"/"I feel better when I don't drink"/"You guys go ahead; I'm fine with water for now" when I was early in my quest for sobriety; it took some doing to stick with it because everyone seemed to be having such fun drinking (fun that I used to have) and I had to keep reminding myself of the consequences I had when I drank. It was hard to accept that I was different from most drinkers - that I couldn't have just one or two or three . . . .

Congratulations on the 30 days; that's great progress.

KateL

To be blunt they sound a bit unsupportive, I would avoid them completely. I have never taken kindly to people who try to force drink onto other people, even if those people don't have a problem. If someone doesn't want a drink, they don't bloody want a drink. What is wrong with people? Grrrr. sorry xxxxxx congrats on 30 days x

Lovenjoy

Congrats on 30 days! That's awesome!

It can be tough with family, big Irish drinking family here. I was a month sober and my cousin told me 'oh you can have one drink' at a holiday party and I was amazed at the lack of understanding.

You know you're on the right path and I'm glad you are thinking about the tough situation ahead of time. If you can come up with some one liners you are comfortable with and that will be affirmations for you to stay strong….'it's never one for me, but thanks' 'i'm good' 'doing something new and feel great' - be creative! I've found that people who don't understand are often struggling with their own demons so being non confrontational is best.

It's always nice to have an ally at these things if you can. I had a long time sober cousin who watched my back. If you have someone you trust, ask, be honest about wanting some support.

And I always, always had an escape plan. My own car or a ride or someplace to walk to where I felt safe or a person to call and talk to.

I opted out of many events when newly sober if I wasn't comfortable or didn't trust myself.

You didn't make this decision lightly, you deserve real happiness, be safe.

Sending good thoughts

SoberLeigh

I agree with KateL; if it is a trip you don't have to take and, if you don't think you can be strong to refuse the drink, staying home is a good option, especially so early on in your recovery.