What will you do?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 3,010
What will you do?
What will you do when SoberRecovery is down for maintenance?
I find these forums a great source of comfort. I don't post always but I log on several times a day and read. Even when I wake up in the middle of the night I get comfort from reading on my phone, or when I'm in the queue for coffee. It helps to know I'm not alone.
Until I went to my first AA meeting, I thought I was the only one. The "worst one". How self centred of me! There was a room of women, all telling parts of my story.
Sometimes I am grateful I am a recovering alcoholic. It has opened my eyes to the suffering of others. My brother said once that I was unbearable to put up with. I didn't say "thank you" to others. I was so selfish.
One of my close friends is from India. I was over at his house recently and he was wearing a t-shirt and jeans. I had never seen him without his sweater off. He has a big scar down his left arm. I said "what happened to you?" He said he was on a bus to a family wedding and the bus crashed into a tree. Weddings there are not like weddings here where everyone makes their own way to the venue. There, it seems to be the grooms family that makes sure everyone gets there. Anyway, he had tears in his eyes when he was telling me the story because he was making sure others were ok and he didn't know he was bleeding until they got to the hospital and the doctor asked him to take off his coat. (Imagine if that happened here? There would be uproar!)
Sometimes I make my parents a cup of tea after dinner. My mom said to me lately "I am happy the old Tetra is back, my sweet and thoughtful child". Yeah she drives me absolutely mental at times, but I am also at fault.
I am content tonight and I am happy I am less selfish.
I find these forums a great source of comfort. I don't post always but I log on several times a day and read. Even when I wake up in the middle of the night I get comfort from reading on my phone, or when I'm in the queue for coffee. It helps to know I'm not alone.
Until I went to my first AA meeting, I thought I was the only one. The "worst one". How self centred of me! There was a room of women, all telling parts of my story.
Sometimes I am grateful I am a recovering alcoholic. It has opened my eyes to the suffering of others. My brother said once that I was unbearable to put up with. I didn't say "thank you" to others. I was so selfish.
One of my close friends is from India. I was over at his house recently and he was wearing a t-shirt and jeans. I had never seen him without his sweater off. He has a big scar down his left arm. I said "what happened to you?" He said he was on a bus to a family wedding and the bus crashed into a tree. Weddings there are not like weddings here where everyone makes their own way to the venue. There, it seems to be the grooms family that makes sure everyone gets there. Anyway, he had tears in his eyes when he was telling me the story because he was making sure others were ok and he didn't know he was bleeding until they got to the hospital and the doctor asked him to take off his coat. (Imagine if that happened here? There would be uproar!)
Sometimes I make my parents a cup of tea after dinner. My mom said to me lately "I am happy the old Tetra is back, my sweet and thoughtful child". Yeah she drives me absolutely mental at times, but I am also at fault.
I am content tonight and I am happy I am less selfish.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 3,010
And I have relapsed before. Now I have three months. Sometimes I wonder what is different between now and those other times? Well I am certainly happier these days.
I have realised that I must learn a whole new approach to problems in life (don't try to drink them away, any more), and don't see alcohol as a "reward" for having accomplished something. I am learning to tolerate distress, including the urges and impulses and cravings for drink, and I allow them to naturally pass away, without giving in to them. I am learning not to engage in battles in my mind about drinking; I step away from that whole process, and choose to think about, and do, something else.
Also I have done some reading about Deprivation mode and Gratitude mode. I don't think we can begin to truly grow into a successful, lifetime, AF plan until we have managed to make the shift in our thinking from the "Deprivation Mode" to the "Gratitude Mode."
In Deprivation Mode, we think alcohol is a good thing that we are being deprived of. We are sad, and grieve the loss of what had felt like a friend to us. We consider it a treat that we never get to give ourselves again. We are envious of others who "get to drink."
In Gratitude Mode, we recognize that alcohol is (for us, because of our brain structure, genetics, physiology, etc.) a toxin, a poison, something that nearly destroyed us. Mentally, physically, and spiritually. We recognize that we have the most amazing opportunity to rid ourselves of something that makes us very sick in all those ways. We recognize the craziness of voluntarily damaging our brains, minds, bodies, families, jobs, futures. We are really, really grateful for that opportunity, and we guard it and cultivate it carefully.
I think I am in Gratitude mode now.
I have realised that I must learn a whole new approach to problems in life (don't try to drink them away, any more), and don't see alcohol as a "reward" for having accomplished something. I am learning to tolerate distress, including the urges and impulses and cravings for drink, and I allow them to naturally pass away, without giving in to them. I am learning not to engage in battles in my mind about drinking; I step away from that whole process, and choose to think about, and do, something else.
Also I have done some reading about Deprivation mode and Gratitude mode. I don't think we can begin to truly grow into a successful, lifetime, AF plan until we have managed to make the shift in our thinking from the "Deprivation Mode" to the "Gratitude Mode."
In Deprivation Mode, we think alcohol is a good thing that we are being deprived of. We are sad, and grieve the loss of what had felt like a friend to us. We consider it a treat that we never get to give ourselves again. We are envious of others who "get to drink."
In Gratitude Mode, we recognize that alcohol is (for us, because of our brain structure, genetics, physiology, etc.) a toxin, a poison, something that nearly destroyed us. Mentally, physically, and spiritually. We recognize that we have the most amazing opportunity to rid ourselves of something that makes us very sick in all those ways. We recognize the craziness of voluntarily damaging our brains, minds, bodies, families, jobs, futures. We are really, really grateful for that opportunity, and we guard it and cultivate it carefully.
I think I am in Gratitude mode now.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,781
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Hopefully I'll be sleeping, but if not I'll just surf the net or watch a movie.
What will you do when SoberRecovery is down for maintenance?
Hopefully I'll be sleeping, but if not I'll just surf the net or watch a movie.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Think it works out about 5am until 11am!!
I always log in when I arrive at work about 9am and check some of the overnight posts, so gonna have to adjust my routine a tad!! but shouldn't be too drastic a change!!
I always log in when I arrive at work about 9am and check some of the overnight posts, so gonna have to adjust my routine a tad!! but shouldn't be too drastic a change!!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
we do have a emergency back up forum
Home | Recovery Forum
Keep in mind tho it is a different forum - and you will need to register separately over there.
I don't think the chat room is functional there either....but hey it's something
D
Home | Recovery Forum
Keep in mind tho it is a different forum - and you will need to register separately over there.
I don't think the chat room is functional there either....but hey it's something
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: San Antonio, TX
Posts: 186
That'll only be 10pm to 4 am here.
Well, I don't usually get home from work until around 9, and I'm in bed by midnight, so that's only 2 hours. Maybe I'll try and find a new recipe to try out. And I do have a couple of things around the house to take care of I was putting off until next weekend. Maybe I'll go visit my brother and his wife for a bit. These are all things I couldn't have done if I was still drinking, as simple as they seem to be.
I feel this site helped give me my life back, I suppose I can give it one night off
Well, I don't usually get home from work until around 9, and I'm in bed by midnight, so that's only 2 hours. Maybe I'll try and find a new recipe to try out. And I do have a couple of things around the house to take care of I was putting off until next weekend. Maybe I'll go visit my brother and his wife for a bit. These are all things I couldn't have done if I was still drinking, as simple as they seem to be.
I feel this site helped give me my life back, I suppose I can give it one night off
Last edited by Sanantoniosober; 02-10-2014 at 09:40 PM. Reason: Forgot how time zones work! Pretty funny, since my job requires me to know what time it is in each city across the US lol
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