I don't think I can get sober
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: augusta ga
Posts: 36
I don't think I can get sober
Here I am again, suffering another withdrawl/side effect of the drugs iv'e taken. I am an alcoholic but switched to drugs the past few months- smart me. Thats the sick addict in me. Ive been talkin 8 pain pills a night for about 4 nights. I told myself and my gf that it was my last time for as long as i can go without. Ive said that twice this past month. When I do get sober, I want it. I like being sober, its what I need. . But I always start using again. So at this point i'm thinking ''why try anymore?'' im just going to keep relapsing over and over and over the way ive been doing for 6 years. Then I think of my mom, who died of addiction. she died when i was 14. . But yesterday I started to remember that I saw and read her wills years and years before she passed. Shed share them with me. I was 8-10 so I didint know it wasnt normal. She must have known she was dieing years before she died. I dont want that to happen to me. I can't stop. I can go a few months, but always go back to drinking or using drugs. Ive tryed evertyhing, here, chat, fourm, aa. . It didnt work. There is no where eles to get strength. I have been sober a year in the past so I know i can possibly do it. But ive been failing so much this past 4 months, I dont think there is a change for me so im thinking about not trying to get sober again. Just because I dont think im able to obtain sobriety anymore.
Please help, give advise, anything. If i have a change, tell me, if youve been where i am and have more than a year now, tell me. Im praying for myself and am not even religous much. Thanks so much for reading.
Please help, give advise, anything. If i have a change, tell me, if youve been where i am and have more than a year now, tell me. Im praying for myself and am not even religous much. Thanks so much for reading.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 9
I can relate. I'm only on day 3 of not drinking but the same has happened with tobacco. I enjoy being sober. It's a better life. There's something to be said about waking up and feeling good and at peace.
It's like being sober becomes easy and I let my guard down. Then one day out of nowhere my mind says let's get a drink or have a chew. I forgot the battle I went through to be sober so I say sure why not.
Besides the initial decision to stop everything and getting through the first few weeks. My biggest problem is months down the road. I wish I had some answers for you but I haven't figured that one out yet.
It's like being sober becomes easy and I let my guard down. Then one day out of nowhere my mind says let's get a drink or have a chew. I forgot the battle I went through to be sober so I say sure why not.
Besides the initial decision to stop everything and getting through the first few weeks. My biggest problem is months down the road. I wish I had some answers for you but I haven't figured that one out yet.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
ANYONE can get clean and sober including you!
"Ive tryed evertyhing, here, chat, fourm, aa."
how bout startin yer new life and getting honest about what ya haven't said, like what have you done ( as in action) for recovery?? have you used the suggestions here, in chat, and in AA and put them into action?
"Just because I dont think im able to obtain sobriety anymore."
that's a lie. don't listen to it.
yer worth getting AND staying clean and sober!
"Ive tryed evertyhing, here, chat, fourm, aa."
how bout startin yer new life and getting honest about what ya haven't said, like what have you done ( as in action) for recovery?? have you used the suggestions here, in chat, and in AA and put them into action?
"Just because I dont think im able to obtain sobriety anymore."
that's a lie. don't listen to it.
yer worth getting AND staying clean and sober!
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
If I don't have a positive attitude I can't do anything. If I have a positive attitude, there's little I can't accomplish.
The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company...a church....a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude...I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you...we are in charge of our attitudes. Charles Swindoll
The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company...a church....a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude...I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you...we are in charge of our attitudes. Charles Swindoll
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Its not about what you cant do for yourself. Looking at things needs to change into seeing what you can do with your life. You need both a short term view and a long term view with plenty of flexibility for unseen times and scenes. You quit for a year already in your past, so you have an understanding of how quitting changes a persons life. We can take those changes and grow into a new life of responsibility and self-respect, or we can refuse to see the writing on the wall and fight against what's best for us and slowly or quickly unravel any advantages to staying quit and go back to using and abusing wasting our lives.
Choices make all the difference in how things turn out for ourselves. When we are in despair, angry, scared, alone, confused - we of course want more then any of that - and staying quit is the best way forward to get past all the internal crap of being a user. Make new choices on how to deal with not just quitting but also with how your feeling about yourself, your life, people you love, (or hate for that matter). Take another look at how changes in your lifestyle can do for you what drinking and drugging can't help you with anymore.
It might seem obvious, but we don't really have much motivation for quitting if we can't see the troubles we our having for using. If we can't see ourselves burning ourselves out then things would have to get worse before they can get better, and no one really wants that as a course of action.
YOU can become a quitter that doesn't relapse. YOU CAN.
Take it easy, tigerlover.
Choices make all the difference in how things turn out for ourselves. When we are in despair, angry, scared, alone, confused - we of course want more then any of that - and staying quit is the best way forward to get past all the internal crap of being a user. Make new choices on how to deal with not just quitting but also with how your feeling about yourself, your life, people you love, (or hate for that matter). Take another look at how changes in your lifestyle can do for you what drinking and drugging can't help you with anymore.
It might seem obvious, but we don't really have much motivation for quitting if we can't see the troubles we our having for using. If we can't see ourselves burning ourselves out then things would have to get worse before they can get better, and no one really wants that as a course of action.
YOU can become a quitter that doesn't relapse. YOU CAN.
Take it easy, tigerlover.
Poison Eater Extraordinaire
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: East Coast, USA
Posts: 1,031
I don't have more than a year but if you don't mind, I would like to say this: I was where you are at about a month ago. I felt very stuck. I wanted to stop, but also wanted to drink on some level. I looked at all my past failures with AA and other methods, and felt hopeless. For me, I decided that because I was in such a hopeless place, I truly needed the help of people in person. I went back to AA, while still having my doubts that I would fail at this program again. I was desperate.
I drank a couple of times my first 2 weeks while still going to meetings, but I sort of believe in that saying "Bring the body and the mind will follow". I've stopped drinking now and am feeling a lot more rejuvenated towards my commitment to be clean. You don't have to be 100% comitted to AA (or any method) in the beginning....but I think eventually if you give it a good try, things start to sink in again and you will find yourself at that mindset that brought you to a year sober previously.
Good luck
I drank a couple of times my first 2 weeks while still going to meetings, but I sort of believe in that saying "Bring the body and the mind will follow". I've stopped drinking now and am feeling a lot more rejuvenated towards my commitment to be clean. You don't have to be 100% comitted to AA (or any method) in the beginning....but I think eventually if you give it a good try, things start to sink in again and you will find yourself at that mindset that brought you to a year sober previously.
Good luck
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Ma
Posts: 3,553
You can break the cycle,Tiger.
And you will be surprised how much strength you have inside you.
BTW,you don't need to be religious to talk with the higher power.
And if you need to get help,please do it.
You deserve to live a life free from the bondage the addiction brings.
And you will be surprised how much strength you have inside you.
BTW,you don't need to be religious to talk with the higher power.
And if you need to get help,please do it.
You deserve to live a life free from the bondage the addiction brings.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Here, EH!!!
Posts: 1,337
Go to meetings, get a sponsor, do service work, get a big book, read and understand the big book and most importantly above all.........WORK THE STEPS. Please I beg of you to take action. Action and more action. Do not delay. This is life or death. I have 2 options, live a life on a spiritual basis, or use/drink and go on to the miserable end and die an alcoholic drug addicted death. Funny how we users and abusers of substances will say "What are my options again?"
Why do people relapse? because they are not working a program of action. They are not working the steps, they give into the lie and think they can drink/use normally, have fun this time, whatever. If one is not moving forward they are going backwards, its like a treadmill. I see it in oldtimers who relapse after decades of being sober (which is different then sobriety, by the way), these oldtimers relapse and within a very short time they end up where they left off and are dead very quickly. Its a progressive disease, its a chronic disease and its a fatal disease. Fundamental 12 step information. Thats why the first three steps take up a big chunk of the 164 pages of the program. 40% of the 164 pages are to deal with steps 1,2 and 3. It shows you how important it is to understand the disease concept. The obsession of the mind the allergy of the body, the willingness to believe in something other then yourself. Decision to go on with the rest of the steps, turn our thoughts and actions over to our HP, step 3 prayer. No one can ever be stuck on step 3, either on step 2 or 4.
The insanity of it all is for a guy like me, to sit here 100% sober with a thought in my mind that I can drink normally, nothing bad will happen this time, I can control it, on and on and on, the lies. Knowing full well what happens. And we give in to these INSANE ideas and thoughts and we are off again. Not fun one bit.
Why do people relapse? because they are not working a program of action. They are not working the steps, they give into the lie and think they can drink/use normally, have fun this time, whatever. If one is not moving forward they are going backwards, its like a treadmill. I see it in oldtimers who relapse after decades of being sober (which is different then sobriety, by the way), these oldtimers relapse and within a very short time they end up where they left off and are dead very quickly. Its a progressive disease, its a chronic disease and its a fatal disease. Fundamental 12 step information. Thats why the first three steps take up a big chunk of the 164 pages of the program. 40% of the 164 pages are to deal with steps 1,2 and 3. It shows you how important it is to understand the disease concept. The obsession of the mind the allergy of the body, the willingness to believe in something other then yourself. Decision to go on with the rest of the steps, turn our thoughts and actions over to our HP, step 3 prayer. No one can ever be stuck on step 3, either on step 2 or 4.
The insanity of it all is for a guy like me, to sit here 100% sober with a thought in my mind that I can drink normally, nothing bad will happen this time, I can control it, on and on and on, the lies. Knowing full well what happens. And we give in to these INSANE ideas and thoughts and we are off again. Not fun one bit.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 442
Do you not have any source of inspiration you can draw some hope from? There are some amazing stories of people who have turned around their lives in the face of massive adversity.
There's a couple of quotes from Winston Churchill that I find help me rekindle my fighting spirit, these are:
"If you're going through hell, keep going !"
and quite simply...
"Never, never, give up"
Perhaps you can find some inspiration somewhere that means something to you too?
There's a couple of quotes from Winston Churchill that I find help me rekindle my fighting spirit, these are:
"If you're going through hell, keep going !"
and quite simply...
"Never, never, give up"
Perhaps you can find some inspiration somewhere that means something to you too?
Pure Radio Rental
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Off course, of course.
Posts: 952
Originally Posted by CAPTAINZING2000 
If I don't have a positive attitude I can't do anything. If I have a positive attitude, there's little I can't accomplish.
The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company...a church....a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude...I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you...we are in charge of our attitudes. Charles Swindoll
The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company...a church....a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude...I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you...we are in charge of our attitudes. Charles Swindoll
I am trying really hard to believe that things will turn around. Since the new year things have gradually slowed to a stop, business wise, etc.
Alot has to do with the abysmal weather we're having. I feel so stuck in the mud, (or ice, for that matter...).
Attitude IS important, but it's a real fight sometimes.
Thanks again...
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