Tetra

Well, it's Saturday night and I am sitting in with my usual book and pot of herbal tea. This is when I think about my future. I try to remember not to believe everything I think about myself at night

I was out with my friend and some of her friends last weekend. Everyone was there going "I'm getting married!" Or "I'm having a baby!" Or "I got a new job!" And I was sitting there going "I got a new book!"

I am only 33. I would like a relationship at some point in the future. I mean, I am not a nun. But I'm living like one I would like a lot more sober time under my belt first, and I would like to go travelling and teaching in India for 2-3 months. Maybe at the end of this year or next year. I think experiencing a different culture would be good for me.

Sometimes I feel really old though. But my best friends sister had her first child a few years ago at the age of 40. I don't know. My cousin had her first baby last month and when I called in with a gift I held him in my arms. I don't know. Sometimes I feel like God was handing out life rule books, and I missed that day...I was playing with my pet earlier and I didn't realise my mom was watching me until she said "you know, you would make a really good mother".

I popped out to the local petrol station earlier for the newspaper and some milk. I met a friend of my brothers by chance. He seemed really surprised and said "wow, you are looking really well". I doubt my brother would have told him my story so obviously I looked an absolute wreck the last time I saw him.

I am trying to save money so I can go and visit my brother and his fiancee in the US for a week or 10 days, maybe in the summer. My dad doesn't seem to like me going places by myself, but he doesn't seem to mind if I want to stay with a friend or visit someone. I told him about my US plans, and he said "that's actually a really good idea". I mentioned volunteering abroad and he said "that's a nice idea. See if they have something for me as well". I know he misses his job, now that he has retired.

I was thinking about this, and I have actually never travelled outside of Ireland by myself. I have been to a lot of places but I have always been with friends or family. I think some independence would be good for me.

So I guess I am wondering, have I left it all too late? I remember when I was 28 and I broke up with my boyfriend at the time. I spent hours weeping on my brothers couch. He said "don't worry Tetra, you still have 12 years"

P.S. I never heard back about the job interview I did last week. But I got called for another one on Monday so fingers crossed!

KateL

33? You are just a baby You've got plenty of time for all that nonsense, don't worry xxxx

SoberKat9

Tetra, I understand how you feel. I'm 33 and single as well, and have so many friends who are married and have kids. But the grass isn't always greener. I have friends that say they envy my single lifestyle! You just gotta live your life and make yourself happy. Then at the most inconvenient time a man will show up. At least that's how it always seems to work! :-)

We're both really young - plenty of time still!

As for travel - do it! I've done a lot of travel by myself over the past few years and it's such a rewarding experience. In fact, I'm about to take a solo trip to London and am super stoked about it. I love the city and know I will have a great time exploring on my own. Sometimes I prefer traveling alone. I don't have to worry about what others want to do - I can completely focus on how I want to spend my time.

BTW, a book with some herbal tea sounds like an awesome Saturday night to me! I'm watching the Olympics.

Lyssiah

Good luck on the other job that called. 33 is young you have plenty of time. Love yourself and amazing things happen.

nicole100

Tetra, NO you are not too late! not in the slightest. And you have great plans and seem to really know where you are going. This is awesome.

I'm 38, single and have no children....BUT I do have friends, I date and I have nothing but positive thoughts toward what the future will bring.

Everyone"s timeline is different...and you sound to be doing awesome!

JustODAAT

I just wanted to say I'm glad your mom said what she said to you, which I'm going to interpret as "I think you're a kind and nurturing person." I know from some of your other posts your mom has said some cruel things to you, so I wanted to mark the positive.

alexc1991

You're 33? YOU'RE STILL YOUNG! You can do SO MUCH. Don't kick yourself, you're still getting back on your feet. A lot has happened in your 33 years, and a lot more positive can happen in the next 33+ years. Do what your heart knows is right.

PurpleKnight

Travelling is great, getting out and seeing new places and meeting new people can be a great experience.

I guess we're all pre programmed to feel like life is moving forward and leaving us behind, because society has created all these milestones that we then worry about reaching, marriage, kids, job, house etc etc . . . but the reality is it all happens at different ages for different people!!

Good luck for the interview on Monday!!