ashleymarine

My boyfriend is a recovering addict and alcoholic. If you can be addicted to it, he is. He has relapsed a twice within the last 10 years, and has been doing wonderful lately, I thought. This weekend, I found some drugs in his pocket. He said he was going to tell me, and I believe him. He had been emotionally and physically distant for a few days, and it explained alot. He knows that if he lets himself start again, he won't stop until he hits rock bottom. I don't want to see that happen to him. I love him immensely, and I feel a little helpless. He threw away the drugs, but as for alcohol, he is talking like "I can limit myself if I want to." I don't want him to start drinking, because I KNOW he won't stop. He's an addict, they never do. He has been having severe depression lately, hoplessness. He says the only thing he is happy about is that I'm with him. I want to help him, I don't know how. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Peter

Perhaps it might help if he speaks with a professional counsellor.I hear your desperation and I understand how helpless you must feel but the most you can do right now is keep letting him know you are there for him.There is obviously something going on inside that he is not opening up about.Working with a professional might be able to help him to get in touch with what is contributing to the depression.

In the meantime try going to a few naranon meetings yourself.They may be help you to cope with your own feelings of helplessness.

Anna

Hi Ashleymarine,

Welcome to SR.

I'm Anna, an alcoholic, and you can offer support to your boyfriend and let him know your feelings about his starting drinking, but you know that he needs to help himself. It's up to him if he is going to drink or use drugs. Since he has been having severe depression I wonder if he's seen a dr?

The best you can do is to help yourself and take care of yourself. I hope you hang around here and keep posting. You can also find support on the AlAnon forum on this board, which is for families and friends.

Love, Anna

KelKel

Hi Ashley
My name is Kellie and I am addicted to alcohol (was)
Anna pretty much put it into a nut shell.

Take care of you...

You came to a good place to get help for your questions and to share your experience, strength and hope.

Welcome!

MootPoint

Anna and Peter pretty much covered it.

Just remember....... you can't help him unless you have taken care of YOU.

Please check out al anon or nar anon.