pteque

superbowl was incredibly hard. it surprised me how anxious and uncomfortable i felt. i was unhappy, but i am pretty sure i masked my emotions to the party.

i didn't drink everyday, but when i did my weekly binge, i always blacked out. i have severe obsessive compulsive disorder and just grew tired of pain drinking caused me days after. tired of the danger i placed myself in. tired of hurting myself. my family wants me to be happy, so when they seem me wanting to drink, they explain that i am not an alcoholic and i could have a few, not understanding i never could have a few. or the nightmare i felt days after a binge. that i just sometimes need to vent. not because i want to drink but rather i cannot.

i survived, though. it was a struggle. i chugged water and ate more snacks than i should have. but i made it. weirdly enough, i felt super anxious yesterday as if i drank but i blogged and tried to keep busy. deep breaths, right?

anyistoomuch

key point- you made it through. it sounds like there is a part of you that doesnt believe it!

tootsl1

Families can often be the hardest ones to convince that you have a problem, some can feel it must be they've done wrong, others can't believe you are doing it to them. Others still just don't understand addiction. You got through the Super Bowl, well done, now you may need to find a way to get your loved ones to understand you have issues with alcohol, with out blame being laid. Keep up the great work.