Gal220

The last few months have been very difficult for me. It seems I'm being stressed on every level - physically, mentally, and spiritually. My circumstances are great; I love my life, and sobriety gave that to me. But I've still struggled recently with a daily obsession to drink. I have come close to giving in a couple of times, but I am so grateful that I did not.

One of the things that has been stressing me out is a health concern. I recently found myself in the ER courtesy of an ambulance, and of course the first question out of everyone's mouth is, "Have you been drinking?" The paramedics asked, the nurses all asked, and each doctor asked. Even amidst my panic, I was so grateful that I could say no. I was so grateful that my health issues would be addressed instead of being attributed to drinking. That's just one more reason to stay sober.

Things still aren't resolved, and may not be any time soon. I am still an emotional, physical, and spiritual wreck, but I think I can finally be confident for the first time in months that I will not pick up a drink.

RobbyRobot

Awesome. Winner.

Tiptree

I really respect and admire the strength it has taken you to reach this point. Thanks for sharing and may you have continued success.

Gal220

Thanks, those responses were very unexpected. You make it sound much cooler than it is. I guess I still feel a little ashamed that I struggled to begin with after being sober for a while. It seems like people on here are either new and struggling, relapsed and struggling, or have a lot of time and don't seem to ever struggle. I worry I am doing something wrong since I do still struggle sometimes, even with a little sober time.

I thought this thread was going to turn into a discussion about drinking and health and how it's hard to be healthy and get medical attention while in active addiction. I just wanted to give people who were struggling a chance to see one more reason to stay sober, which is also why I put it here instead of the 12 step forum where I usually post. Weird how things work out

Thanks again

Ethos23

That is an awesome post! I love that you have come to the reality that no matter how dire the situation, YOU can handle it. Yes, just you. You don't need the FAKE confidence alcohol would give you (which in reality is only obfuscating the real problem since you are numb to your feelings).

I too am in early sobriety and sometimes I feel as you have described. I think that I am very easily overcome/overwhelmed by emotions. I am not surprised by this, as I was devoting a huge amount of energy to numbing my emotions over several years.

Thank you for the uplifting post!

whiskeyman

Doesnt that feel great to say. No i havent been drinking

Everything else will work itself out

tootsl1

Well done Gal, it is hard to deal with emotional issues without wanting to reach for the bottle, it was always my go to guy when I felt weak. Not knowing the extent of your health issues must be scary, but how great that you know by being sober now, you are helping yourself in the best possible way.
I remember being taught in a First Aid class, never to make assumptions. The person lying on the kerb stinking of booze may not be unconscious drunk, but may have had a heart attack of a head injury. Sadly too often the assumption is that it is alcohol related.
Keep strong, Gal you are doing great!

letustrythis123

As a hypochrondriac, I worry about these things too and I'm not saying you are one! The other day, I had what were probably not real chest pains but at that moment, I was no longer afraid of the idea of what if I have to go to the hospital because I didn't have that overwhelming guilt that the problem was caused by being an idiot.

I was nearly pulled over a few months back. I could only think that I was so happy that I was not even remotely buzzed. This was when I'd downgraded/upgraded to pints and tried to control my drinking. If there was none left in the morning, there was none left and I'd carry on with my day, of cours getting it much later.

The few times I've sped lately I've felt much more at ease because a ticket is a ticket and the lurking DUI thing was not in the back of my mind.

Dee74

I hope whatever the problem is you feel better soon Gal

great post btw - apart from some pretty nasty falls I never had any medical attention when i was drinking - too embarrassed/scared

Recovery has bought back to me the necessity of maintaining good health

D

Tiptree

[QUOTE=letustrythis123;4452761]As a hypochrondriac, I worry about these things too and I'm not saying you are one! The other day, I had what were probably not real chest pains but at that moment, I was no longer afraid of the idea of what if I have to go to the hospital because I didn't have that overwhelming guilt that the problem was caused by being an idiot.

I could have written this. So many good things about being sober but especially not having that guilt!