ChiefBromden

I really feel the need to share this.

Yesterday, I had to go to a dinner organised by my wife's boss. Now I normally don't really like formal dinners - especially with people you don't know and don't have a lot in common with - but this one was worse because it was in a horribly expensive place. A place where you constantly have 3 to 4 people hoovering around your table, serving you a dinner that costs about half an average wage.

After 3 hours, it became clear that the 11 courses (yes: eleven) would take quite a while to consume (read: it started to get seriously horrible by then). Little did I know that the whole dinner would take 5 (yes: five) full hours from 8 PM to 1 AM.

Sure, I had already been to events like these previously since I got sober 20 months ago, but I'm sure you'll know that it's always a bit awkward when you are the only non-drinker, and the staff seems to be totally thrown off by the fact that you stick to water. Anyway.

For the whole 5 hours, I had to stare at the only decoration in the place which was... a display of 48 bottles of all kinds of expensive booze. It was impossible not to look at it, direct line of sight, about 8 foot from me. Black wall, one shelf, 48 (yes, I counted them) bottles.

Mind you, it's not even that it was "tempting". I really had enough of the whole drinking thing when I quit, and I don't look back. I don't feel left out on occasions like this. I'm confident in my "quit": alcohol is a thing of the past for me, and I sometimes even get some pride in the fact that I somehow managed to get rid of the addictive behaviour. (and the 1 liter of whisky a day...). I escaped, and I am *incredibly* happy with that.

But.

Staring, for 5 long hours, at NOTHING but a bunch of bottles of spirits, in an excruciatingly boring and awkward situation, with no escape route (I really needed to do this for my dear wife), is NOT something I ever ever want to do again.

Call me odd.

Raider

Oh my. How boring.

Mags1

Hi ChiefBromden it would have been great if you loved food, except for people getter more drunk around you.

It was dragged out though, I, personally would be in heaven with all those courses but my husband would not.

Things we do for love

Hope4Life

That would be very hard for me. 5 Hours! Wow... that must have cost a pretty penny for all that food and wait staff!

Congratulations for hanging in there for your wife's sake. I would have been very uncomfortable in a situation like that and probably would have left the table multiple times, just to get some air.

It sounds as though you are completely secure in your sobriety.

SunriseSky

You're not odd, Chief. That dinner sounds excruciating and actually physically painful - eating 11 courses??? sitting for 5 hours?? Good grief.

You deserve the "husband of the year" award for making it through that evening.

And you deserve a big Congratulations for sticking to your sober guns.

LDT

Not "odd" at all. I would have had to fake an emergency or something. No way I could have endured that. Kudos to you for hanging in there.

Taking5

Cue up the Meatloaf tune: "I would do anything for love (but I won't do that)"

KateL

Nothing odd about it at all. It must have been like watching paint dry with a lump of lead around your ankles. I would have enjoyed the food though xxxx

Tiptree

You are a saint. I couldn't have done it.

ChiefBromden

Yeah, it was too much. You know, just going to something you don't enjoy for, say, 2 hours isn't going to kill anybody. But 5 hours is enough to make a grown man cry - even without the alcohol exhibit situation.

Sadly, and I didn't mention that before, the food was not nice at all. I'm not sure what was happening, because at $300 per person (which, to be honest, sounds indecent to me, call me old fashioned...) you'd expect something rather great. But it was weird, with too many competing tastes thrown together. Do not get me wrong: I love food, I love cooking, I love great ingredients. But this was like it was engineered, not cooked. Hard to explain. Mind you, my wife, who normally enjoys these kinds of restaurants, had the same feeling.

Surely not a saint, but I did think repeatedly about faking an emergency to be honest.

As Hope4Live mentions, I really am secure in my quit, which is nice. I don't know how that came about; maybe I'm just very lucky that the cravings just went away over time. So the silver lining surely was that if I can survive this without thinking I need a drink, I can survive just about anything.

Still, I thought after posting this, it was a bit like having to stare at a picture of a toxic ex for 5 hours. You spent a long time together, you know you are done, you are over it, but it still gives you a mighty odd, slightly unreal feeling, bringing back not so pleasant memories.

Hawkeye13

11 courses and it was lame and cost three hundred bucks?

I hang my head and cry right along with you. . . .

Mountainmanbob

don't blame you
I even felt some pain as I read this thread
I would be sure to never say yes again to an evening such as this
thanks for sharing -- worked just fine for me
I will be prepared to say no thanks if invited out for one of these

Mountainman

Dee74

I'm glad you got through that Chief

D

instant

when I am in discomfort (especially social) that I know is time limited, and there is no "real" escape - I try to rely on the nobility of endurance and try not to struggle as it makes it worse for me- ultimately leading to resentments.

Relief comes eventually and for that I try to be thankful

by struggling I also mean the stories I am telling myself

kcvalentine

You are a saint and I bet your wife really appreciates it! Good for you. Next time you get to drag her to something maybe?

DoubleBarrel

Sweet mother of god,

I think you can handle any event at all after sitting through that.

Congratulations. Seriously.

karate

Sounds like a bunch of real good food .

I would have loved that .

But I love to eat. If I'm eating , the last thing I want is a drink

Prime rib , baked potato , peas ,,, just keep them coming .

Extreme workouts allow massive food , and stay ripped .

Pipping

I love food and especially eating but that would have done my head in. Sounds quite pretentious and 300 bucks would have bought a lot if groceries. You deserve a medal. In the past I would have got stupid silly drunk and made a big fool if myself at an evening like that. Well done for keeping your sobriety intact!

FeelingGreat

You're a good husband Chief. I assume restaurant staff have plenty of customers who don't drink and should be too well trained to harass them. Just let one know quietly and they will take away the wine glasses.

BarbieKen

You live up to your name.....Hail to the Chief of LONG Dinner Parties...and pleasing the wife goes along way too!! Bobbi