4thdimension86

Well, I do not know for certain that this person is in AA. She claimed that she was. Anyway, I have a huge resentment against her and the university she works for. I got kicked out of this particular school and later found out that what happened to me most likely wasn't legal. This particular school got sued over a similar incident. The vice president of this university is in charge of such matters. She is the one who claims she is in the fellowship. That incident has been hindering me from returning to school. I could return to the school I got kicked out of but I honestly have no desire to. One of my professors stuck by my side and basically told me to go some where else. I think the VP is a corrupt fraud. I do believe that she is in the fellowship but get the impression that she uses her authority and position and the school to satisfy her ego and "play god."I have met a lot of people in the fellowship that simply replace their addiction to alcohol and drugs with things like money and power. If she is in the fellowship than you would think that she wouldn't have a problem admitting her wrong doing in this matter. This particular school has been at the center of many scandals over the years and it bothers me that someone in the fellowship holds such a high position at the school.

4thdimension86

I know what I am supposed to do about resentments but this really drives me crazy for some reason.

Tamerua

I know what my sponsor would say, what is your part in all of it? How is this making your life unmanageable and what would sanity be? It is so hard to look at things objectively when you're emotionally invested, for me the emotion is usually fear.

Hope you figure this out and do what you need to do.

Tetra

Maybe try praying for people that disturb us?

I know someone that was quite high up in a university, and listening to their stories over the years, corruption seems to be common, as well as "using authority and position and the school to satisfy ego". It doesn't surprise me.

Are you sure she is in AA?

Is there anyplace you could make a complaint to? Maybe start with the Students Union or something?

Perhaps your professor is right...maybe you could do without the drama?

Anyway I just want you to know that you are not alone.

4thdimension86

It really sounds like she knows what she is talking about when she talks "AA" so I believe she is in recovery. I know what my part in it was and I know I am not supposed to look at the wrongs that were done to me. I just think she is an ego tripping dry drunk. She got really insecure when I mentioned some of the things that occurred at the school over the years and even made a remark about how she didn't think I was ready to move on in my recovery. My professor is not a recovering alcoholic but she has stuck by my side the entire time. I have kept in contact with her ever since I left and she informed me that she is looking for a new job because of all the bad stuff that goes on at the university.

4thdimension86

I contacted the attorney that sued the school and he said there was nothing that could be done at this point because the situation was already done and over with. I couldn't afford a lawyer at the time so I just had to go along with everything.

GracieLou

If there is nothing you can do and you have no desire to return to the school then I don't see what the problem is. Are you looking for her to make an amends?

What other people think of me is none of my business along with how others work their program, or lack there of, is also, none of my business. I can't allow the actions of others to rob me of my peace and serenity. If I do, then I am at fault. I am trying to control the situation which I have no business doing.

When I come across these situations I must always look at myself first. What is my part or what I have I done to cause this problem? I have found, at times, I may have done absolutely nothing to cause a situation to happen but I am at fault for allowing my resentments to maintain the effect it has on me. I am the one harboring the resentment which kept the situation alive and not so well in my mind. I wanted an apology damn it and that need that I held on to ate me alive.

Admitting that I was the one holding on to the anger and the resentment was my part in the matter and I had to let that go to move on. Will I ever get an amends or an apology? Probably not but in the mean time I have peace knowing that I have forgiven and moved on.

I found myself many times hoping for a happy ending or at least a ending I was happy with. Today I have to learn to accept the past to be able to move on to new beginnings.

tomsteve

prolly drivin ya crazy because ya aint doin what yer supposed to do.
reads like yer usin yer old ideas and playin God.

tomsteve

The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success. On that basis we are almost always in collision with something or somebody....

What usually happens? The show doesn't come off very well. He begins to think life doesn't treat him right. He decides to exert himself more. He becomes, on the next occasion, still more demanding or gracious, as the case may be. Still the play does not suit him...

Our actor is self-centered - ego-centric, as people like to call it nowadays.

Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt.

This is the how and why of it. First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn't work.


more of the solution in the big book when yer ready for it.

LadyBlue0527

I'm not sure what all of the above has to do with you. You may have been kicked out but any person, AA or not, could have done that. Perhaps you're saying that you believe that she kicked you out because she's in AA and uses that power?

Somewhere in the world is the worst AA meeting and along with it people who don't really follow the premise of the program. Not much you can do about that, you can only focus on you. It sounds like you want to put her in her place for her part in what happened.

Wouldn't time be better spent moving on and focusing on your own sobriety? Living well is the best way to remove a resentment that you can't really do anything about.

4thdimension86

I guess I should just move on. I have an interview with an adviser at another school. So far it seems like it is a better option for me. It is a nice little private school. I got kicked out of a PA state school. I already had my associate's degree and transferred there. I was only at that particular state school for one semester and I really hated it. Maybe god did for me what I could not do for myself and got me out of there before things really went down hill as they are. If faculty are telling students to attend school else where than things must be bad. I trust my professor. She really went above and beyond the call of duty. I'll take her advice and try to finish my degree some where else.

ScottFromWI

I think that's a great idea.

4thdimension86

I think it bothers me so much because she at least claims to be in the fellowship and in my opinion she isn't practicing principals in all her affairs. She seems more interested in covering up the corruption at the school than doing the next right thing. I guess keeping my side of the street clean is all I can do.

Pipefish

Early on, a member of the fellowship told me something that continues to be of great value - people will let you down - in AA or not - other people will let me down. And, every so often (although obviously not as much or as badly ;-), I will inevitably let them down too. And he was right, because that's life.

It's all good learning, and as you've been posting here, looking at my side in events, keeping my own side of the street clean, and working my own programme while I keep out of what anyone else is or isn't doing, is the helpful stuff to focus on.

Good on you for working this through today, and hope things turn out for you

GracieLou

Amen!

4thdimension86

I might have to return to that school if I can't work out the financial issues that have prevented me from transferring. It is a long story. However, if I do have to return I will make an effort to address some of the issues I dealt with as a student. There wasn't much of a drug and alcohol program established when I was a student there and I can help fix that. Furthermore, I can offer assistance to students that end up in a similar position to the one I was in. I really wanted help at that point in my life and I tried to handle the matter in a logical way but I got no where with anyone at the school. Also, since I got sober it has come to my attention that this school has a massive drug and alcohol problem when compared to most schools.

karate

All I can tell you is avoid people you don't like .