darknesswithin

I'm not sure if I'm alcoholic or not, but I don't think it matters. I still need to stop.

I've been drinking regularly (weekends only) for about 10 or 12 years.

I started having pain in my right side (about 9 months ago), after a few months of near-daily drinking. Some days I would just have one, others I would drink half a bottle. I had never experienced back/side pain before so I did some detective work... Oh... your liver is on your right side... no wonder...

But I just kept drinking. In November I realized I was going to die (eventually) if I kept this up. The liver pain was always there and I had gained a bunch of weight and was miserable. I started to cut down, making sure I had at least 48 hours between binges, and tried to stick to the daily limits. I went from 6 days a week, to 5, to 4, to 3, over the course of 6 weeks.

I decided to take January off alcohol, something I've never done before. I had a few days of mild anxiety and fatigue, but no shakes or any other detox symptoms. I got my liver enzymes checked by my doc... and they were normal!! I should have been relieved, but I just thought something else must be wrong. He explained to me that it's like being punched and feeling pain before a bruise shows up, and that it's only a matter of time until I do some serious damage. I consider myself lucky.

I went 2 weeks sober, starting feeling really great, then thought "I can reward myself with a drink, just one." I ended up drinking quite a bit and had a nasty hangover the next day, complete with really bad liver pains.

So, here I am. The other day I was offered a beer when I was at someone's house and I didn't know what to say, so I drank it. I can't keep telling people I'm off the sauce for only January because January is going to be over. And I don't want to tell people I have a problem with drinking. I guess I could say it's for health reasons...

I told my SO that I am treating myself as if I can never drink ever ever ever again, whether or not that's true (medically). I don't want to tell myself that I just need to heal my liver, then I can go back to it. I was on a road that led only to death, destruction, and suffering, so snap out of it and quit this poison.

I am not detoxing, and from what I've read from this site, I am really really really glad I don't have to go through that. It's just avoiding bars and drinking situations. I think I will be a hermit for the next 6 months.

Thanks for reading!

Ps: Although I really appreciate support, I am not really looking for suggestions for meetings or recovery groups.

Also, I don't know if this is the right thread to post this....

reflection

Welcome to SR! One of the good thing about quitting is that it's your decision and if you don't feel like explaining why to people, you don't have to.

Dee74

Hi again darknesswithin

you'll find a lot of support here

Sorensen

I've never had liver pains but I do get a fast heart rate, weakness, and G.I. problems like I cant digest food and and feels like I have to burp all the time following a night of heavy drinking.

I also had my liver checked and I was sure it was screwed but it came back normal

darknesswithin

Sounds super uncomfortable! It's really amazing how much the human liver can take. I was really shocked that not even ONE of my levels was even remotely high. They were all perfectly in the middle of the healthy ranges. I guess I shouldn't dwell on it too much, huh? :p

But even just drinking that one drink the other day gave me pains immediately and the next day. I can still feel it, but the pain is much less.

Mountainmanbob

that works
good luck
Bob

Sorensen

Are you sure its your liver that's giving the pain signals? It could also be stomach, pancreas or gull bladder. If your liver is in pain, it means it is inflamed which also means its not healthy.

Bostonsportsfan

Welcome

Bostonsportsfan

After reading your post you might want to get any pain checked out. I remember I thought it was my stomach, then they took blood and thought it was my gall bladder, then they found out it was stomach that hurt, but I had elevated enzymes and calcium in my liver. It's always good to get checked out.

KateL

Welcome and well done on your decison. I wish you well x

sugarbear1

Staying stopped is an awesome idea!

Glad you found us, we are very supportive for all who are here!

karate

Not having to detox ,that's a great plus .

Being psysically dependant ,is very tough .

waynetheking

Welcome dark. Sobriety is a good thing. Just give it a chance. You'll see.