Sanantoniosober

I'm selfish. It's all about me. And I think I've noticed this in my comments, especially my recent ones. Somehow I manage to find a way to bring up my experiences/opinions on every thread I post on.

Maybe it's because, for me, (here I go again), reading what others did/went through and what worked for them is what keeps me from taking another drink. I get new ideas on how to handle things from everyone I read on here. When I signed up here I was around 6 months sober, and had never heard of PAWS or kindling or anything that wasn't 'don't drink and you'll be fine.'

No one has said anything to me about this, but I just had that thought. Hopefully by sharing my experiences I'm helping, and not just coming across as a narcissistic jerk, but if I am, I'm sorry.

Dee74

I think our experience is our commodity here - as long as you're making an effort to relate to the post you're replying to, I'm not sure I agree that's selfish?

D

jdooner

If you were narsassistic then you would not be apologizing.

All you can do is share your experience. It's all you have to share. Try being honest with yourself in your shares. If you are responding to puff yourself up then take note. This is part of becoming more aware.

Good luck and keep sharing

I just retread the post you are referring to...sometimes we project, I have been guilty. The key is in the why. Why does a post bother you. If your being honest and can answer this then you are in fact growing and benefitting. This process needs to be two way, which is one of the reasons we hare.

newhope01

I've wondered the same thing about my commentary as well. Once, I sent a private message to Dee74 for request to delete one of my posts for me because I felt like it's focus was more on my experiences than what the original poster shared. But, I soon found I was over thinking it. (see I'm already doing it too.)

I think we do a great service to these forums by sharing our experiences with others. I never once thought your posts to be selfish, in fact, quite the opposite.

Pipping

I have had the same thoughts as well. It's hard because we can identify with so much it's tempting to share your own experience. For what it's worth I find the shared experiences create a close sense of community. This forum has stopped me from drinking which is something I never thought possible. There I go again, talking about myself.

Mags1

I think we share our experiences because we can relate to the person who posted. That's how I read posts, one person leads and then we have an input, help when we can, like when we do, just read when we have nothing to say.

EndGameNYC

I've regretted comments I've made in my life, so why should it be any different here? Most times, people here are willing to call me or someone else out when we/they step out of line, and that's mostly a good thing. As long as your heart is in the right place, it's difficult to do someone wrong.

Since I've been here, there have been people who kicked, screamed, cursed, broke the furniture, made threats and promised to burn down the entirety of SR because they didn't like the honesty of people's comments. It happens.

It sometimes helps to remind myself where I am, and what my expectations and motivations are.

TigerLili

This.

I think it's fine to post whatever you feel moved to post. If people don't like it they don't need to read it.

THe most valuable thing we have is our experience. We've been in the trenches. We couldn't relate to one another if that wasn't the case. It's important - keep sharing it.

PurpleKnight

I love hearing about other people's experiences, when someone starts a thread on a particular topic looking for advice on somthing, and then everyone shares their experience in relation to that same problem or topic, the OP usually gets a lot of reassurance from the replies, as they then don't feel like it's only them going through it.

But rather they have a whole community that has their back, and understands what they are going through!!

ImperfectlyMe

It's part of the whole recovery process I think. Sometimes when we write a response we are really writing it to ourselves.

JustODAAT

When I started reading, and then eventually posting, here it was because no one around me in my "real life" could relate to my experience. When someone writes on my thread a "me too" reply, it makes me feel supported and not alone.

sugarbear1

I'd rather hear someone's experience rather than their advice any day!

hugs and love to you

LadyBlue0527

I don't think it's selfish, it's sharing. It helps to identify with the person who created the thread to help them to understand that they're not alone.

The posts to watch out for are the ones that you make from a pedestal. I'm guilty of this one. At the end of the day not one of us are better than the other. We're just a group of people who are trying to help each other. Doesn't matter the amount of time under our belts either.

Hawkeye13

Keep sharing please !

Lyraisha

I don't think you're being selfish at all. By saying you relate, and sharing your experience and how you've coped and/or coping is the best help you can give someone.

Personally I'm not a big fan on someone just giving me advice, especially when they've not been through the same situation (or even remotely similar situation) before. I hope you keep posting and sharing your life experiences. I know it helps me and I'm sure others here to

Hearts

i've felt like that too and I just got here. But, my experiences are all I have.

karate

We are all odd , some of us odder than others .

If I can half way fit in , you can

JackieC

I've had the exact same thought! Love that you posted this. Clearly you hit on something because it sounds like a lot of us have wondered the same.

I, like the others, love to read about everyone's experiences. It's where we all connect.

Thanks for the thread!

Jackie

Mountainmanbob

most all we can do is share our
experiences, strengths and hopes with each other
seems that's what you have been doing

Mountainman

MrTumble

I get this feeling also. When we relate to others we do so by also talking about ourselves, I also find that makes me feel self-centred and I get a feeling that my life is all about meeeeeeeee.... Its not completely true, its a side effect of hanging out on this kind of forum IMO, but its also made me think about helping people more and thinking less about me.