Hope4Life

Young man, you do have a problem.... but the answer is right in front of you in these posts.

POUR THAT POISON DOWN THE DRAIN! and don't look back. Your life w/o alcohol will be INFINITELY better than the life of a drunk. Sorry.... but that is where you could be headed.

You are very young and have your whole life ahead of you. Don't waste it on booze. I wish I could go back to your age knowing what I know now.... things would be COMPLETELY different! I drank every day for 37 years and threw away a huge amount of money, many relationships and a career. Make the choice now to live a life free of regret, denial, heartache and pain.

Sorensen

Dude, you sound exactly like me when I was 20 years old. At 18 I had been kicked out of my first bar and arrested for drunken intoxication. After a struggle, I hit my head on concrete and the cops rushed me to the hospital to get my head stapled back together.

Another incident, my father found me passed out in the basement, soaked in my own urine, and a big lump of Copenhagen snuff hanging out of my lip after chugging a bottle of jack daniels in a little under an hour.

Dee74

I missed out on a lot of things over 20 years - a family for one thing.

It feels good to be here, and sober, and not missing out on the really important stuff anymore blackwolf.

Stay strong

D

blackwolf

Thanks for the support people, still not had a drink yet. I got invited out to an alcohol infused venue earlier but declined, I won't be struggling to get my key into the keyhole at 4am later!

Hevyn

That's the spirit blackwolf. You'll feel so good tomorrow for having avoided temptation.

Mags1

Hi black wolf, congrats at not picking up that drink. I can't think of my whole life without booze I just do it, slowly, a step at a time, we call em baby steps on SR.

Once you get running again it will give you a focus that's a better tush than any drink.

Keep visiting, I find lots of help and encouragement here.

Kensho

Good for you, man.

Hope4Life

Good Job blackwolf! Break the time down into little increments if you need to.... a minute, 10 minutes, 1/2 an hr, 1 hr, then work towards 'One Day At A Time', it really does work! Just don't drink 'Today' and forget about tomorrow just concentrate on 'Today'.

I've posted this a lot but please listen to the lyrics of this song... I could have written it!! Every time I listen to it, I get reinforcement for my sobriety.

"One Day At A Time" Official Video and Free Download : Joe Walsh

blackwolf

Had a bit of a 'relapse' last night but was strong enough to walk away after 3 pints, so in a way it was another victory. Won't be drinking tonight at all, despite major cravings.

I've heard that song somewhere before Hope4Life, such fitting lyrics .

blackwolf

Still sober except for the other nights relapse. It's kind of taking a toll on me mentally because i feel like i need to tell people about the things i've done under the influence, so many mistakes, and now an awful lot of regret that i've kept bottled up inside of me. The problem is i'm not sure telling people what i've done, such as my parents, would help me in the slightest. I got in contact with my local AA so may pop down there at the next meeting. Hope everyone is doing ok, it's harder than i thought it would be.

Dee74

I think amends are best made later when we're more secure in our recovery and have a clearer perception of the past.

To be honest I had enough with trying to keep sober in the first few weeks without putting anything else on top.

When the time comes, I always found a good rule of thumb was - if it helps someone else, then it's probably ok to reveal...if it's helping only me, it's probably best to hang on to whatever it is.

Kensho

Maybe the question of what you need to tell other people - and whom to tell - is not something that you need to deal with, or even think about, just now. It's something that I would want to be a rational decision, not one made under any emotional stress. Maybe you can just "sit easy" on that one for the time being.

For me, I need to get enough sobriety time to have a clear head for things like that - and knowing what might be helpful and what might be harmful, for whomever.

EDIT: Well, Dee already said it better.

blackwolf

Still sober, almost caved last night but went out for a run instead, it worked and so I'll carry on using this method. I dreamt I had been drinking last night and woke up feeling disgusted with myself. Thank god it was only a dream!

360shoes

I think your on to something blackwolf. Good for you!

I had to switch a few things around at first. I found that between 5 and 7 it sucked but if I made it passed 7. It wasn't so bad. So of course I stayed the heck away from a happy hour and I didn't keep any around the house. I also noticed my cravings didn't last hours. For me just a short time really. It helped to know it passed and passed in a manageable amount of time. I found things to do that helped during that time. Vent on here. Take a bath. Eat a pint of hagan daz. Your athletic ability will serve you well on that one. Use it to your advantage.

Anyway, it's been my experience that once I said yep it's a problem and then I started doing something about it. It got better. I never could think or feel a problem away. I had to take some action. I remind myself often that the only difference of who I am and what I want to be is what I do. And not with just not drinking. It applies to most of my life.

Find support. Try it all out. Whatever moves you in the direction you need to go. Stop drinking and go grab life by the ears and give it a big kiss on the lips.

You keep it up and find your passion. You already possess it. It's just been hidden by that alcohol. There will be a day you can look at it and see it for what it really is. Just a stupid liquid that offers nothing.

I promise you. Alcohol is never going to change but you sure will if you quit drinking it and focus on the real life you want.

Go get it Blackwolf. And remember you don't have to do it alone. There are a gazillion of us here who understand.

ClearMind

It definitely will be difficult to run the road to recovery, but then again it's nowhere near as difficult (physically, mentally, emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually) as being a drunk. I'm speaking from experience!

Loekken

Hi blackwolf. If you're not able to drink in moderation (no more than say 5 drinks during one session) - you should maybe consider staying completely sober for a couple of weeks at least, if possible.

If you are not able to stay sober for at least a couple of weeks, I would suggest you talk to a professional (doctor, counselor, psychiatrist, etc.) about your situation - because then you might certainly have a problem.

You're young, and most young people like to party a lot as we know. So your situation might seem just normal, but if you already age 20 start thinking about these things and ask about it, you should definitely try get to the root of your questions. Good luck!

blackwolf

Hey man, my ultimate aim is to stay clean for the rest of my life. The way I see alcohol (and you guys) is different to the way other people see it. I don't think this route problem can ever be solved and so unless I avoid alcohol completely I'll end up just getting hammered 7 nights in a row again. Also I rarely attend parties/social gatherings, I'm quite introverted and so drink alone as much as I do with other people. Alcohol is in no means an escape for me though, I'm not depressed, I don't use it as a form of self medication, I just can't stop once I've started and I end up craving it more the more I drink. In a way it's like cigarettes really, once you start you will always be addicted to them. My dad hasn't smoked for 10 years and he still craves them, but he knows if he has one he will turn into a full time smoker again. That's exactly how it is for me at the moment.

Loekken

Sounds like you have a very strong attitude, I commend you for that.

If you have no real psychological issues involved, I'm thinking you would be able to simply stay off the booze; physical craving is one thing, it will go away after some time. After this, it's all actually 'in your head'; you don't 'need' alcohol at all, as long as your mind is strong and set on staying sober.

Hope4Life

There it is, in your own words. Just don't take that first drink EVER again.

You have the right attitude to DO THIS!!