I've hit bottom so hard I'm not sure I can get up
as a sober contributor
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: California
Posts: 1,312
Hi Bumble.... PLEASE don't do anything to hurt yourself. As someone who has experienced the suicide's of 2 family members, I feel that I can say.... the only people hurt by suicide are the friends and family members left behind.
The feelings you are having are common to all of us who have given up drinking. Give it some time and these will wane and eventually you will realize that you have made the right decision. Your sobriety has to be your main focus now.
When you start feeling down, I suggest you grab a bottle of water and go for a walk. Sounds like you could do some stair repeats in your building! Anything physical to help you burn off that energy will help.
You are very young, so don't sell yourself short. You have a long life ahead of you that will be INFINITELY better now that you have given up alcohol.
Reaching out to hold your hand.....
The feelings you are having are common to all of us who have given up drinking. Give it some time and these will wane and eventually you will realize that you have made the right decision. Your sobriety has to be your main focus now.
When you start feeling down, I suggest you grab a bottle of water and go for a walk. Sounds like you could do some stair repeats in your building! Anything physical to help you burn off that energy will help.
You are very young, so don't sell yourself short. You have a long life ahead of you that will be INFINITELY better now that you have given up alcohol.
Reaching out to hold your hand.....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 184
Hi Hope, I am deeply saddened that you had to suffer the loss of 2 family members. 
Sometimes, I think the only things that stops me is feeling sorry for whoever would have to clean up the mess, and pick up the pieces. All the same, I have refused to even go out onto the balcony. It would be too easy to hop over the railing in a moment of rash desperation, and then, a nano-second too late, realize I wish I could fly...
THAT is what truly frightens me.
Instead, I tried a different AA meeting and the ladies that were there gave me their phone numbers in case I wanted someone to go to another meeting with or had questions. They also gave me a 24-hr chip. I'm not sure why, but it seems...special. And it actually does help me to remember to take it one day at a time.
Funny you mention water and going for a walk; I've been drinking carbonated water like nobody's business! And I love walks - help me calm down and think clearly.
Signed up for a bunch of group fitness classes - the exercise helps me feel less bored/restless (major triggers). I've isolated myself quite a bit over the years, so the social aspect is a pleasant change.
Thank you all for such kind, thoughtful, helpful replies!!!
Sometimes, I think the only things that stops me is feeling sorry for whoever would have to clean up the mess, and pick up the pieces. All the same, I have refused to even go out onto the balcony. It would be too easy to hop over the railing in a moment of rash desperation, and then, a nano-second too late, realize I wish I could fly...
THAT is what truly frightens me.
Instead, I tried a different AA meeting and the ladies that were there gave me their phone numbers in case I wanted someone to go to another meeting with or had questions. They also gave me a 24-hr chip. I'm not sure why, but it seems...special. And it actually does help me to remember to take it one day at a time.
Funny you mention water and going for a walk; I've been drinking carbonated water like nobody's business! And I love walks - help me calm down and think clearly.
Signed up for a bunch of group fitness classes - the exercise helps me feel less bored/restless (major triggers). I've isolated myself quite a bit over the years, so the social aspect is a pleasant change.
Thank you all for such kind, thoughtful, helpful replies!!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 1,778
Originally Posted by bumble 
Thank you for responding. And you're right - I did not actually ASK for help, I hoped it would be offered. I should have actually asked.
I will try another meeting. At the meeting I went to, there were 30 people, and only 5 of them were women. I have nothing against men, I just know it's considered improprietous to approach them for help.
I will try another meeting. At the meeting I went to, there were 30 people, and only 5 of them were women. I have nothing against men, I just know it's considered improprietous to approach them for help.
as a sober contributor
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: California
Posts: 1,312
Originally Posted by bumble
Hi Hope, I am deeply saddened that you had to suffer the loss of 2 family members.
Sometimes, I think the only things that stops me is feeling sorry for whoever would have to clean up the mess, and pick up the pieces. All the same, I have refused to even go out onto the balcony. It would be too easy to hop over the railing in a moment of rash desperation, and then, a nano-second too late, realize I wish I could fly...
THAT is what truly frightens me.
Instead, I tried a different AA meeting and the ladies that were there gave me their phone numbers in case I wanted someone to go to another meeting with or had questions. They also gave me a 24-hr chip. I'm not sure why, but it seems...special. And it actually does help me to remember to take it one day at a time.
Funny you mention water and going for a walk; I've been drinking carbonated water like nobody's business! And I love walks - help me calm down and think clearly.
Signed up for a bunch of group fitness classes - the exercise helps me feel less bored/restless (major triggers). I've isolated myself quite a bit over the years, so the social aspect is a pleasant change.
Thank you all for such kind, thoughtful, helpful replies!!!
Sometimes, I think the only things that stops me is feeling sorry for whoever would have to clean up the mess, and pick up the pieces. All the same, I have refused to even go out onto the balcony. It would be too easy to hop over the railing in a moment of rash desperation, and then, a nano-second too late, realize I wish I could fly...
THAT is what truly frightens me.
Instead, I tried a different AA meeting and the ladies that were there gave me their phone numbers in case I wanted someone to go to another meeting with or had questions. They also gave me a 24-hr chip. I'm not sure why, but it seems...special. And it actually does help me to remember to take it one day at a time.
Funny you mention water and going for a walk; I've been drinking carbonated water like nobody's business! And I love walks - help me calm down and think clearly.
Signed up for a bunch of group fitness classes - the exercise helps me feel less bored/restless (major triggers). I've isolated myself quite a bit over the years, so the social aspect is a pleasant change.
Thank you all for such kind, thoughtful, helpful replies!!!I also have a 24hr chip, that I often hold in my hand and it is amazing to me how such a small object can be SO powerful. I read it's message and rub it with my finders and it reminds me of all the support I have received here and from friends. I am hoping to pick up my 18 month chip now that I have reached that milestone and I am hoping to gain more strength from it.
Keep up the good work, you are doing GREAT! The saying 'One Day At A Time' is really true so don't worry about tomorrow just concentrate on today.... everyday! I often post this link (like yesterday) but I find it to be a very powerful reinforcement. Listen closely to the lyrics.....
"One Day At A Time" Official Video and Free Download : Joe Walsh
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