TucTee

Amidst the self-medication and hedonism we've performed during past escapades, I think it's undeniable some purpose of the drinking was to have fun. Maybe it started out as fun and turned into a curse. Maybe it was always fun, but dangerous, unhealthy fun at the end.

My question is, was anyone of it worth it to you? Do you look back on any of it and feel good about your consumption?

The only part of my drinking past I "cherish" was the absolute beginning: the hijinks of an underage drinker with friends. A lot of actual friendships developed from that, believe it or not. My regret is that instead of stopping drinking and building on what I began to develop socially, I perceived booze as a limitless source of social ascension--that the longer I drank, the more I could be social. Turns out I'm much more social sober, but I was too scared without the booze.

If anyone feels I'm trying to glorify drinking, not my intent. If you want to call me out though, feel free. I'm just trying to stimulate discussion.

IOAA2

Hi. For me drinking was for awhile a relaxer but being compulsive I wanted too much in a rather short time so for me it became my way of escaping most everything. I eventually found out I used it to escape feelings as I became more addicted to it. Life has become VG for over thirty years without it in the system.

BE WELL

DoPerdition

When I first stopped drinking, I pretty much only remembered the good things. But even when things were good, the morning after was never good. It wasn't real fun IMO, it was someone who really just needed some confidence and mistook the buzz of alcohol for feeling good about myself.

The truth was, I always always ALWAYS felt worse after a binge. Even if we had the BEST time the night before. It was public fun but a private hell.

Then again, I think I was an alcoholic from day one. I drank in secret the first time and always drank a bunch before a social event so that I would be at the same level of drunk as everyone else.

gaffo

It was what it was, a thread woven into the tapestry of my life. I tend to make the best of any situation I'm in and I don't like to dwell on regret but now the more I examine those times through the lens of purposeful sobriety...it was just a bunch of self destructive crap that I should have been done with way earlier. I really can't see any value in it. It was not worth it.

Oldselfagain

I can't separate the good from the bad. I wish I could just cherry pick the good. Although there may have been some good times, the overall effect of my drinking was completely negative and if I could turn back the clock I never would have started.

TomSawyer

I've always maintained that I don't regret my college years as they were the best four years of my life. Alcohol helped me meet a lot of great people and allowed me to have some pretty good experiences. I will say that it went downhill pretty quickly afterwards, and I have to remember that I can never go back to the (relatively) innocent days of drinking in college.

NoJimmy

No, it absolutely was not worth it. I quit drinking for 5 years in my 20's, then drank for roughly the last 15 years. I can't say I wasted those 15 years, but there is no doubt it impeded my progress a great deal. I'm old enough at this point I have missed my window of opportunity for some things I wished I hadn't. I can't go back, but I can go forward.

Bluebird1927

Ruined marriage, not speaking to my parents for years, puking blood....nah. Yeah I'm sure there were a few good parties, not that I can remember

spryte

Well, I don't subscribe to all that AA has to offer, but this resonates with me. From The Big Book:

Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol.

Sure they do.

But of course, the 'effect' is larger and more insidious and destructive than our base instincts will let us see.

I do not cherish the early days when it was fun. I cannot separate that time from the stuff that happened after. It all goes together. It's a sad story.

karate

Not worth it, I always drank too much at times .

Not until I was about 35-38 did the problem develop .

Only part I miss is drink beer with my son , while hunting .

I'm really lucky , I have no legal trouble. , or health problems .

Lifewillgetbet

Almost lost my Job
Almost died
Almost lost my family
Lost most of my friends
Lost a few amazing relationships.
Lost most respect from everyone I know.
Lost my Drivers license (medical related)
Wasted a load of cash

I had some good times with it in University.
It helped me through some pretty lonely times.
Helped me temporarily deal with stress. TEMPORARILY.

So no. It was not worth it.

jdooner

yes it was all worth it - I regret nothing. Had I not experienced everything that I had done then I would not have the wisdom I have now. I live life with no regrets and am letting go of my resentments by working through steps #5 and #9. I cannot change the past, only learn from it and apply to the present to influence the future.

karate

I don't think anyone here will look back , with fond memories .

I remember more like miserable , hungover days , drunken nights ,
Damaged relationships , depression , anxeity , withdrawals ,
Puking , digestive problems .... Yep good times

RobbyRobot

Yeah, I drank with a purpose. It wasn't by mistake or from any misunderstanding. I drank and drugged for the results of being oblivious to my own self, and to others, and to the world in general. Was it worth the price of admission? Yeah, it was because I was already royally in trouble before I began drinking, and ironically without drinking I'd likely be dead. Alcohol worked for me as advertised until it didn't. And after it didn't of course, the trip was no longer worth the price it cost to keep it going and that is the nature of addiction - paying over and over again and getting nothing but misery in return.

So, for me its not as simplistic as "was it worth it" since there are two sides to how alcohol started off as my best friend and ended up with me hating both it and myself more then I could ever have imagined when I last quit. Live and learn. I am what I am today without serious regrets shadowing me as I continue forward with what I got to show for myself.

jdooner

Whatever works to keep you sober. You are early and for me my first weeks and months I focused on the awful things I did and who I became. It motivated me to keep from drinking. Just like with drinking that wore out and now, I am truly grateful that I experienced it all - the good and the bad. I can't change that but the perspective is unique and I believe everything is happening for a reason. I am part of something much bigger - no longer do all of your revolve around me. I instead am going through this journey with others with me, revolving around something much bigger.

A subtle but important change in my perspective of late.

KateL

I donlt think it was ever a good thing for me. I used to think I was enjoying it when I was young. But looking back, I felt early on, that most of my drunken hijinks were a result of a broken heart or something equally as ridiculous. x

Hevyn

Decades ago it was fun for a few years. Back when I still had some control. Ending up completely dependent on it - with a shattered life - no, it was not worth it.

Dan Dare

I had many many good times.
And an awful lot of bad ones.

A big regret I have is that all my priorities became second to alcohol.
And the good times became mundane, predictable, selfish times.

But I wouldn't take back many of those good times before that happened...

Dee74

I think worrying about whether it was worth it or not is a bit redundant really. It happened, I can't change it, and I have to take what I can from the experience.

At least it bought me to where I am today, and my many many mistakes give me a lot of learn from.

I hurt a lot of people tho (including myself) and I wasted a lot of years. I was not who I wanted to be for a very long time.

That realisation colours whatever good memories I have, and always will I think.

why do you ask TucTee?

D

TucTee

I think it was a dream I had last night. I'm not having any thoughts of relapse, but I think I did have a vivid dream about something fun that happened when I was drunk in high school. It was on my mind this morning, so I thought I'd elicit some conversation related to it.