My Fourth Anniversary of Sobriety
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Toronto
Posts: 318
My Fourth Anniversary of Sobriety
I originally wrote this as a blog, but thought I would post it here in the hopes that it might inspire some of you who are starting your journey...
Today is my fourth anniversary of sobriety! I celebrated my sobriety today by getting up at 5:30 am, vacuuming cat hair off my couch, sweeping my floors, making my lunch, having a shower and heading off to the office. I put in 7.5 hours of work, hopped the evening train, came back home, and ate my supper. Before I go to bed I will write in a private hand-written journal that I now keep every day, have a cup of camomile tea while watching life go by my living room window, and then head to bed.
It's the same thing I did yesterday, and the day before that. It's the same thing I will do tomorrow and Friday, too. Mondays I go to tap dancing class. Saturdays I often get up early and go to the local farmers market with a friend of mine. Sometimes we get a mani-pedi first. The key thing isn't what we do, it's the fact that we get together and chat. Sundays I try to go to church. Some weeks are punctuated by visiting friends, going home to see my family, or going on a little adventure to an unexplored region of the city to take some photographs.
It doesn't sound very exciting when compared to the crazy times I used to have. And I'm okay with that. In fact, I'm happy with that. In the beginning I dreamed of having this life and I'm proud that this is the life I built for myself.
I don't feel the need to run away as much as I used to. I've been putting down roots right where I am as evidenced by an ongoing project to decorate my house. It's taking time for it to come together. And that's okay. I don't have the same need for instant gratification anymore. Although I do confess my need for instant gratification will never completely go away - I've just gotten better at letting go of some of the things that feed my need for instant gratification.
I have reconciled all my past hurts with my family. Last year I spent more time with them then I had in the previous 15-20 years. I got the special honour of spending a day with my niece while she got ready for her prom. I drove her around to various places so she could get her hair, nails, and makeup done. It is the most special day I ever had with her and I am so happy to have been sober and not be hungover to be able to experience this with her.
I see my Mom in a different light now, and am happy to spend time with her, too. For Christmas I purchased a photo box with 5 mini-albums insides, and made one album for each of my siblings and I. There was one album left over so I put a bunch of photos of my Mom with various kids and grand-kids in it. As I leafed through that album I really looked at my mother and realised just how much of her is in me. I used to say I was nothing like her. But I do have her sense of humour and her spirit for fun and adventure. She was just better at controlling it than I was.
I am so happy that I am my Mother's daughter. Part of me regrets the time I lost with her when I was drinking as I will never get that back. She is 83 years old and I know I don't have much time left with her so I appreciate every moment I can get with her now in a way that I never used to. I've accepted that my Mom isn't the type to gush over things but learned how to read her in her own way. To me, she said the photo box was "nice". I know deep down inside she loves it because the last time we talked on the phone she told me she had been bringing it to her friends' houses to show it to them. And that makes me smile.
I am getting better at relationships, although I still have no romantic prospects in sight. My friendships are true friendships now, and have depth to them unlike the superficial drinking buddies I had before. This year I did something I have never done before. I recognised that someone was very toxic to me and was making me feel bad about myself. I wound up telling him that we should part ways for a while. It hurt me to do it, but at the same time it felt good to stand up for myself, to give myself the advice I would give to my best friend, and to follow through with it. In short, it felt good to love myself.
I'm going through a rough patch right now because of stress at work. I was involved in a major project which saw me working 25 hours OT a week for a couple of months straight. It meant I worked a lot of weekends, and lost a lot of sleep. My head isn't as clear and as straight as it should be and I have to talk myself out of negative thinking. Sometimes I feel like I am just hanging on by a thread. But thoughts of drinking rarely enter my mind. When they do, I come here and lurk about the Newcomer's Forum. I see people who would give their eye teeth to have as much sobriety as I have, and I remind myself to be grateful for what I have, and for what I have achieved.
Recognizing how burnt out I am, I booked 3 weeks of vacation next month to rest. I purchased a room on a boat for 10 days and am going to rely on floating at sea to clear my head while other people prepare my food and clean my room for me. It gives me something to look forward to in the immediate future. When I think I am about to give up I say to myself - just keep going until February and you will be okay.
After that, I don't know what my future holds. But I am optimistic that the year ahead will be a bright one filled with many adventures and I am just a wee bit curious to see what I will write about for anniversary number 5.
Today is my fourth anniversary of sobriety! I celebrated my sobriety today by getting up at 5:30 am, vacuuming cat hair off my couch, sweeping my floors, making my lunch, having a shower and heading off to the office. I put in 7.5 hours of work, hopped the evening train, came back home, and ate my supper. Before I go to bed I will write in a private hand-written journal that I now keep every day, have a cup of camomile tea while watching life go by my living room window, and then head to bed.
It's the same thing I did yesterday, and the day before that. It's the same thing I will do tomorrow and Friday, too. Mondays I go to tap dancing class. Saturdays I often get up early and go to the local farmers market with a friend of mine. Sometimes we get a mani-pedi first. The key thing isn't what we do, it's the fact that we get together and chat. Sundays I try to go to church. Some weeks are punctuated by visiting friends, going home to see my family, or going on a little adventure to an unexplored region of the city to take some photographs.
It doesn't sound very exciting when compared to the crazy times I used to have. And I'm okay with that. In fact, I'm happy with that. In the beginning I dreamed of having this life and I'm proud that this is the life I built for myself.
I don't feel the need to run away as much as I used to. I've been putting down roots right where I am as evidenced by an ongoing project to decorate my house. It's taking time for it to come together. And that's okay. I don't have the same need for instant gratification anymore. Although I do confess my need for instant gratification will never completely go away - I've just gotten better at letting go of some of the things that feed my need for instant gratification.
I have reconciled all my past hurts with my family. Last year I spent more time with them then I had in the previous 15-20 years. I got the special honour of spending a day with my niece while she got ready for her prom. I drove her around to various places so she could get her hair, nails, and makeup done. It is the most special day I ever had with her and I am so happy to have been sober and not be hungover to be able to experience this with her.
I see my Mom in a different light now, and am happy to spend time with her, too. For Christmas I purchased a photo box with 5 mini-albums insides, and made one album for each of my siblings and I. There was one album left over so I put a bunch of photos of my Mom with various kids and grand-kids in it. As I leafed through that album I really looked at my mother and realised just how much of her is in me. I used to say I was nothing like her. But I do have her sense of humour and her spirit for fun and adventure. She was just better at controlling it than I was.
I am so happy that I am my Mother's daughter. Part of me regrets the time I lost with her when I was drinking as I will never get that back. She is 83 years old and I know I don't have much time left with her so I appreciate every moment I can get with her now in a way that I never used to. I've accepted that my Mom isn't the type to gush over things but learned how to read her in her own way. To me, she said the photo box was "nice". I know deep down inside she loves it because the last time we talked on the phone she told me she had been bringing it to her friends' houses to show it to them. And that makes me smile.I am getting better at relationships, although I still have no romantic prospects in sight. My friendships are true friendships now, and have depth to them unlike the superficial drinking buddies I had before. This year I did something I have never done before. I recognised that someone was very toxic to me and was making me feel bad about myself. I wound up telling him that we should part ways for a while. It hurt me to do it, but at the same time it felt good to stand up for myself, to give myself the advice I would give to my best friend, and to follow through with it. In short, it felt good to love myself.
I'm going through a rough patch right now because of stress at work. I was involved in a major project which saw me working 25 hours OT a week for a couple of months straight. It meant I worked a lot of weekends, and lost a lot of sleep. My head isn't as clear and as straight as it should be and I have to talk myself out of negative thinking. Sometimes I feel like I am just hanging on by a thread. But thoughts of drinking rarely enter my mind. When they do, I come here and lurk about the Newcomer's Forum. I see people who would give their eye teeth to have as much sobriety as I have, and I remind myself to be grateful for what I have, and for what I have achieved.
Recognizing how burnt out I am, I booked 3 weeks of vacation next month to rest. I purchased a room on a boat for 10 days and am going to rely on floating at sea to clear my head while other people prepare my food and clean my room for me. It gives me something to look forward to in the immediate future. When I think I am about to give up I say to myself - just keep going until February and you will be okay.
After that, I don't know what my future holds. But I am optimistic that the year ahead will be a bright one filled with many adventures and I am just a wee bit curious to see what I will write about for anniversary number 5.
Sure feels good, doesn't it? 
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Fabulous, Omega. I've been following your progress and success since I joined SR.
And a great point to all the newcomers worried about making or losing friends:
And a great point to all the newcomers worried about making or losing friends:
Originally Posted by Omega10 
My friendships are true friendships now, and have depth to them unlike the superficial drinking buddies I had before.
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