caboblanco

when I got sober there was only one person that knew about the amount I had been drinking. that was my drinking buddy..who himself wasn't as alcoholic or even a regular drinker but was a pill popper of a nice variety. I didn't tell him what to do and he didn't tell me what to do(for the most part). Anyway I did part ways with him when I got sober. I never told

anybody about my drinking or my sobriety and i never mentioned my quitting booze to my former drinking buddy. I have another friend who is my neighbor that is in sporadic contact with my old drinking buddy. Friend no 2 just calls me with some pretty horrible and exaggerated stories about my drinking told to him by drinking buddy... Friend number 2 is so

happy to call me and to ridicule me...in a way that i am a total joke and so is my life.because of my alcoholism..yes i know..why is he my friend? well really he is somebody that just calls me and i never call him...anyway this is my experience of people knowing about my problem...my drinking buddy has told other people about it but at least those are people nowhere near

me.. i don't know how people on here tell everybody and their mom about their recovery and somehow aren't a nervous wreck all the time..im..just venting....i tried to keep this thing a secret but i guess it wasn't possible....

karate

We have a level of annomity here

I'm very selective who I tell anything .

I work in a business , where most can't be told ,so I'm used to keeping quiet .

KateL

Ignore them. They don't sound like very good friends at all. It says more about them than it does you. You have no need to feel ridiculed. xxxx

silentrun

What was the guy's point? What was he hopping to get out of that conversation? You have been sober a good long time and you don't have to answer to those guys so whatever. One of my favorite quotes it sounds better in Latin but "Don't let the bastards get you down".
As far as my experience goes no one seems to care that I quit or why. I am older than you so it's not really an issue.

ScottFromWI

It's hard, but worry about things you can control like living sober from this point forward. The past is gone and you have no control over what others say or do. If you move forward with honesty and sobriety, that's what people will see and remember, not gossip.

letustrythis123

Yes. A few of the people in my circle thought it was funny and called me an alcoholic. They themselves were heavy drinkers too and at least a few are alcoholics themselves, no doubt. I just got a call from another friend who wants me to come out. That friendship has only a booze foundation and will need to end.

safe2breathe

i sorry that it happened... i had a lot of "friends" funny how they faded out when my priorities and thought process changed... as for people knowing -- to be honest - i dont care who knows anymore ... it was a part of my life and i live everyday now making it better ... i did all kinds of stuff, but i made amends where needed, i dont regret my past nor wish to shut the door on it -- i use it as a reminder of what an idiot i was

jdooner

Cabo - I am 10 yrs older than you so the context of some of the relationships might be a bit different. However, I told my family including my mother and my in laws. The response has been respect not shame. Most go through life unaware of their problems and everyone has them. I am aware and doing something about mine - I believe that s respectable and so does my immediate and extended family.

I told other Partner's at my Firm about being sober. I am sure there is some speculation but I am at a level that it does not matter and will not. I don't share my escapades or drunk-a-logs with them though.

When I decided to quit, I made the conscious decision to let people that I felt were important around me know so I could not make it easy to go back to my way of life without some accountability. This has helped keep me sober in a few instances.

safe2breathe

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...alcoholic.html

Brian316

Sorry to hear about this as well. I would tend to steer clear of people that think it's funny (and some do, I'm sure people have had their share of laughs at the level of my alcoholism in the past). I am actually working on the not regretting the past nor wishing to shut the door on it thing myself lately. I don't regret it, but sometimes I wish I could close the door if that makes sense.

tomsteve

it may be harsh, but what you experienced, and prolly will again, are part of the consequenses you may not have thought about when you were drinking. it happens.
dont let him live rent free in your head. take it as a lesson as a quality you dont want in a friend and let it go.
dont answer when he calls anymore.
"i don't know how people on here tell everybody and their mom about their recovery and somehow aren't a nervous wreck all the time.."
I didn't. it wasn't everybodys business. the only ones I told I was getting into recovery were my immediate family, and if ya can believe it, even they were skeptical.
but there was great things to come.
a while ago while down refinishing the floors in my nieces new home, we ended the day with a bar-b-q in their new backyard. neice and her husband, nephew, sister, brother In law, my mother, a few of their friends. somehow stories of my drinking days came up. what would have repulsed me early on had me laughin as I could see the insanity of it all.
then my niece brought tears to my eyes:
"uncle tom, im glad you dont drink anymore."

you'll get the,cabo. keep trudging and dont let what others say bother you. if anything, use it as a reminder why yer not drinkin and changing you.

tomsteve

if ya shut the door on it, ya may forget all that stuff that didn't work too good.its a very valuable possession of mine. its helped others see they aren't alone and there is a solution.
if I forget my past i'll repeat it.
if I regret it ill get drunk.

MariahGayle

You would be surprised (I was) at how supportive & understanding people are of our struggle with this deal. It was actually a "big" relief to share it with certain people...some of them I didn't think would understand at all and although some of them may not understand they have all been very supportive of me.

Scott6433

As you well know, a lot of people here get it. It's unfortunate others don't.

FeelingGreat

Caboblanco, have you ever noticed when someone gives up a habit which is bad for them (smoking is the most common) the people who are still indulging in their own bad habits try to sabotage them because they feel threatened? I'm sure this is the motive behind your 'friend's' behaviour. You no longer fulfil whatever role you had as a drinking buddy so he's throwing you to the wolves.
Take it as a complement, and an even greater incentive to succeed.

Pipping

My excessive drinking and subsequent embarrassing behaviour was the source of huge entertainment for a few people. None of those people are in my life now because despite that they are not very nice anyway. Don't take any sh&t from that neighbour.

MrTumble

I dont talk to anyone about it apart from SR, id also be upset if someone called me about it - its understandable youre upset.

But lets get it into context, these people wont be around when you go for your next job, they wont be around when you meet new people and I suspect you probably don't need them anyway, especially if they are going to be thinking badly of you.

So screw 'em...

TopFlight

I wouldn't put up with that crap. If I feel a "friend" is trying to throwing some stupid **** in my face I'll turn around and walk away from him mid sentence. I say, continue on your path of sobriety and work on surrounding yourself with positive people. This negativity will drag you down and start making you think negatively about yourself. When a "friend" knows you aren't going to stand around and act amused to his stupidity, he either has the choice of respecting your decision or it's time to cut ties. Never compromise your own self for someone who isn't even respecting you.

MrTumble

Threshold

sounds like a jerk. If you can block him or have caller ID option. Put it to use. Just like we took booze out of our lives, sometimes we have to remove other unhealthy things, activities and people.

Sorry you are dealing with this crap.