Brian316

Hey everybody my name's Brian and I am an alcoholic. 82 days sober today by the grace of God, AA, yourselves and others like you. I just wanted a share a small sample of the insanity of my disease.

After I got out of jail for my 3rd DUI a couple of years ago, I decided that was it I was gonna turn my life around. I dried out for about 90 days and began attending classes full time at a local community college. I felt like I really had a new chance. Over the course of a year and a half or so following that time I went back off and on the wagon numerous times. Oh I wont let drinking get out of control again....I am a man I can handle it......I can control my addiction to alcohol.....One of my biggest fears is I will get real bad and it would screw up my schooling, I mean I had nightmares that I would go to school drunk. Well I did. My last weekend of school last spring when I should have been studying for finals and finishing class projects, one of my best friends was in the hospital dying. So I drank. To excess. LONG weekend bender. Screwed up my projects, did things I don't remember (ended up owing the library $150 because I spilled gasoline on some books. Yeah I dont remember doing that.) basically the morning of my toughest final I woke up with the feelings I know many people here have felt. Anxiety, shame, paranoia....and the thought that I could make it subside just by having a drink. So I slammed two big beers warm and went to class. I'm sure the teacher knew. Everyone else had already left because they were done taking their tests and I showed up a half hour late. And I ended up getting in much worse trouble later, but I'll save that for a different time.
Anyway, I am back in school now. I have 2 classes left to graduate. I am determined to make this right and finish. God has given me ANOTHER chance. And for that I am truly grateful. I'm sharing this because tonight was my first night back and it brought back memories. Walking in there drunk......I can attest to the fact that many of us alcoholics know, if we keep drinking and there are messed up things we haven't done YET, we eventually will do them and/or worse. Today, I have hope. I know that I never have to go through that again. And by staying sober all things are possible. Thank you.

Dee74

Thanks for that post Brian - fantastic - best of luck with the rest of your study

D

Like2Hike

You're doing it right this time, Brian. That's all that matters now.

suki44883

Thank you for sharing that, Brian. Most of us get a lot of chances, but it's what we do with those chances that will determine our future. You sound committed to doing the right thing, so, best wishes to you! You CAN do this. (((HUGS)))

Mountainmanbob

went to AA meetings off and on for a good part of my life
heard stories told that made me think to myself
I would never do that
then later on in life while drunk yet again I did the exact things

now I say
thank God that I have not done that ---------- yet

and probably won't if I don't ever take another drink

Mountainman

Brian316

That is one of the truest things I have ever read here Bob. I used to do the EXACT same thing. I've walked away from meetings myself thinking "wow that's horrible, I'll quit for sure if I ever get that bad!" only to do something just as bad if not worse. I never got a DUI in the parking lot of a police station.......and just as you said, probably never will as long as I don't drink!