Matterhorn

I have been fortunate...some of my drinking friends confronted me about my excessive drinking and won't allow me to drink...not that I want to. The other drinking "friends" are just memories...which is good. My social life with friends are centered around playing sports. After playing golf or tennis or basketball, I go home to the family. In the old days, it would be all about drinking...I like it this way. I see some of the old "friends" and they look like hell...over weight, bloated, red faced and just old. That past lifestyle is not for me.

Halzuzu

I had the opposite happen. "drinking buddies" that I thought would surely fall to the wayside actually ended up sticking by me in sobriety and we've become closer. I don't drink with them anymore, of course, but now we take part in all sorts of non-drinking activities that we didn't do before. I did distance myself and eventually cut ties with a few friends, not because they weren't supportive, but because in sobriety I realized that I no longer wanted to deal with their dramatic, toxic, negative personalities.

CourtneyH

Thanks for this thread!! It helps to know Im not alone on this issue. Although I miss my old friends, its not worth getting involved in their activities when I know they'll involve drinking. I still care about them but I have to put my sobriety first. Letting go of the past means letting go of them.

JackieC

Yes, this is how it is for me. My very close, dear, old friends are still there and supportive. However, none of them live in my city anymore. And as you said -- it's the casual friends that have evaporated now. So it's not the friendships I miss, but having someone to text or call to meet up on a weekend just to get out and about. So I find myself with no plans whatsoever on the weekend when my kids are with their dad. It's okay-ish for now but I think it will get old soon enough.

One other thing I wanted to say was this -- the few friends I told who are close friends who I also drank with -- it's iffy how those friendships will do. I hope they can survive the changes I'm going through. To their credit, I have thrown a huge curveball into our friendship, turned my half of it all catty-wompus so that it might not fit into the us that we got so used to. I guess, like anything in life, the strong ones will survive.

CAPTAINZING2000

Frankly I don't want to be around the people I drank with after I stopped. I don't have a problem around a social drinker but, I could not afford to place myself in jeopardy of taking a drink.
We evolve when we no longer drink in our social life. I still enjoy sporting events concerts etc. I just go to them with sober people or people that aren't alcoholic.