blackoutgirl

So here I am again. This is will be the third time that I've quit drinking. This last time I lasted almost four months, which is the longest time as of yet that I've gone without alcohol. I'm not drinking daily, but I can see a pattern coming on that is all too familiar.

I was doing so GOOD! Then, I managed to talk myself out of sobriety and let my guard down. I was working out regularly, quit smoking, was taking care of myself and eating right. I was feeling great....and then I got complacent and stopped working on my recovery all together.

I became lazy and let my AV take the upper hand...and so here I am. As far as what I will do differently this time? I have to remain firm and committed and not allow others to minimize my sobriety, for one. However, in the end, it's me that makes the decision to drink.

Thanks for all the support you guys have given me in the past. I'll be turning 35 in a few months and would like this to be a turning point in my life. I feel like I'm catching myself a bit sooner this time, when I look at the low points I've started at before. Maybe I'm finally coming to some sort of resolve?

Well, thanks for reading. -b

Dee74

welcome back blackoutgirl

any ideas on what you might do differently this time?

D

Hevyn

It's great to know you haven't given up. This can be the last time you go through this.

Sudz No More

You've got sense and sensibility right where they belong. Sounds like you are on the right track if you can stay the course.

Gottalife

I was just wondering how you went about making that decision. I'm not being critical, but perhaps part of the puzzle will be in this area.

Lets say you are making another important life decision like changing your job. You look for a new one, look at the benefits and improvements it would bring, look at your old job and think about all the nice apsects of that, leaving your old workmates, the familiarity, location, transport, and weigh up whether you want to change and head off in a new direction. There is quite a lot to consider.

When it came to drinking, did you carefully consider your past experience, did you think about the likely outcome, did you remember the bad times, did you balance all the reasons you should stay sober against all the pluses of drinking. When you had really thought it through, did you reach a carefully considered view that drinking would be ok? Was there a compelling thought that overcame the potential risks? Knowing what you know, was the decision to drink a sane and rational one?

RevivingOphelia

Welcome back!

quitter13

Welcome back and good luck. I can identify. I'm 36 and 1 month into my second attempt. I managed 6 months the first time around and then also got complacent. I was doing so well I let the AV convince me that I could moderate and drink socially. After about 6 months I was pretty much back to where I was when I quit the first time. You live and learn and personally I have just had to realize I can never drink again, not even one drink!

awuh1

Despite answering your own question, I see that Dee asked it again. I must confess that I also wondered.


People are going to do all manor of things that you cannot control. Minimizing your sobriety is on that list. Similarly, when you say that you are going to remain firm and committed. Was this not just how your resolve was at the beginning of past attempts?


I'm not saying this to be unsupportive. On the contrary. I want you to succeed. That’s why I suggest you attempt a qualitative change in your approach rather than a quantitative one. Don't just try harder, try something truly different.


I remember you from shortly after I joined SR, and I know you can do it.

robgt350

hay blackout

nice to see you back. welcome back!!! i fell of the wagon also once or twice. but you are back and all that matters. i look foward to your post again. see you around

blackoutgirl

I DO need to do something different. I'm just at a loss as to what that is going to be. To be completely honest, I gave in this time because I felt like I was missing out on something...stupid, I know. I just felt like a total square without any excitement in my life. I had picked up a new hobby and was fine with that, however, I was tired of being the "sober" one.

Last year I managed to remove myself from multiple occasions where I felt uncomfortable while other people were drinking. I started to feel alone and left out....like the odd ball.

I don't know what else to say for the moment, so I'll stop here to avoid rambling.

awuh1

Well good. You're thinking about this.

If you are feeling alone and left out while friends drink, then perhaps its time to find a circle of sober friends, perhaps in addition to current friends. Friends who will not minimize your sobriety, but support it. I think you know what I'm suggesting. The only requirement is a desire to stop drinking, and it would be truly different.

Gottalife

Hey blackoutgirl, it's far from stupid. You picked up for a seemingly stupid reason because that is a little trick this disease seems to play on us.

There will come a time when we have no effective mental defense against the first drink. The very sound reasons for not drinking are easily pushed aside in favour of the idea that a drink will fix that feeling of being left out. There was a complete failure of the kind of defense that stops one putting ones hand on a hot stove.

It's not stupid, it's the cunning nature of alcoholism.

Same thing happened to me dozens of times. often there was no thought at all, I just found myself drinking when I hadn't intended to. The thing was to find an effective defense that was not reliant on people, places or things. What Awuh1 suggests will give you that defense, and a whole lot more besides.

Bostonsportsfan

Welcome back.

I wish you the best.