SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Today I didn't drink. It was a nice day. I got to see my son play in a sports game and then tonight I cooked dinner for my wife. It wasn't a special day but one that I got to experience fully.

It also happened to be five years since I took my last drink. (or more correctly 1,825 days when I didn't drink that happened to be next to one another)

When I look back on where I was five years ago and compare it to today, it is impossible to dispute that alcohol was impacting my life quite negatively. Although I occasionally hear that little voice telling me that "I wasn't that bad" or "you can drink in moderation again", it is really nice to remind myself about what my life was like.

The problem for me (and for some others I am sure on SR) is that my changes have been more subtle. I am grateful that I never lost my job, wife, kids or freedom because of my drinking, but I certainly was losing my soul, happiness, drive and control.

For those of you who might be questioning / calling yourself a "high functioning alcoholic", this journey has taught me a few things.

1. Regardless of whether you are an alcoholic or not, the tools that we learn through interacting with other people through SR, AA or other programs teach us a new way to live our lives. I can manage my emotions much better now because I focus on how others might be feeling rather than myself. This is a powerful tool in all aspects of one's life.

2. Alcohol is incredibly powerful and you can't solve it alone. It is really important to reach out to others to ask for help. Whether AA is (or isn't) your thing, just find a way to reach out to others for help. I couldn't have done it without my AA group, my sponsor and sponsees.

3. While these are cliches, I completely have experienced both of these:

- We thought that alcohol was the solution to our problems, rather than that alcohol was our problem. (My problems went away or were more manageable once I stopped drinking.)

- High functioning was just a stage of alcoholism, not a type. (I look back and see that my drinking was progressing and getting worse without my being able to see it. And, when I'm really honest with myself, it was messing up my work, marriage, and relationship with my kids when I was drinking - and it was accelerating.)

4. I stopped growing while I was drinking and now that I have stopped, it has been amazing to continue learning about myself and experiencing life - despite the pain and suffering that sometimes comes with it. But, this allows me to enjoy the highs and normal days of life much more because I am getting better at being grateful.

5. As crazy as it sounds (and I'm not religious at all), when I am angry with someone, the best thing I can do is to pray for them to find whatever it is they are wanting or looking for. (And yes, this includes someone who cuts you off in traffic, back stabs you at work, or even steals from you.) My higher power has helped me look at many situations differently, which keeps me more centered and grounded.

6. I don't worry about whether I will drink tomorrow, just today. I have now been in just about every drinking situation you can imagine and have made it through all of them sober. You can too.

For someone in their first few days or weeks of sobriety, this probably sounds like a bunch of BS, but all I can say is that I have very practical and empirical proof that my life is better now that I stopped drinking with the help of others and a program of recovery.

Tomorrow is another day. But for today, I'll just enjoy day 1,825 by feeding my less dangerous addiction - chocolate lava cake.

Thanks to all my friends on SR, AA and my HP.

Cheers.

New Me