needtostopthis

So I went 3 days which is my norm anyway and then I drank AGAIN, last night to be exact. My head hurts so bad right now and I feel so defeated. I mean I am so tired of doing this. I will be so gung ho about quitting and feel like this is gonna be the time I REALLY get sober! But then I hit day 3 and my craving hits and I make up excuses and tell myself okay this will be it just this one last time and I drink. So now I am starting over again. This has got to be the 20th time I said this. How many times can I say I'm done and then mess up again? How many times did it take you to really get sober? Is this a sign I am not ready? I am so messed up. I know I have to quit, I am literally sick.

MB8

I lived in the same exact nightmare for so many years so I know how your feeling. That feeling the next day after drinking are awful. Not only the hangover symptoms but the idea of how could I have done this again. How does one know how bad you are gonna feel yet still does it anyway. It doesn't make any sense yet all of us hear have been there and know how you feel. I promise you that the sober life is the way to go. I'm only 60 days yet I feel a million times better. Emotionally and physically. It just takes perseverance through those tough first few weeks. I see that your a mom. I also am a parent and that was my driving force behind quiting. I didn't want my kids to see me drinking, not even 1 more day. I want them to respect their dad. It worked for me. You can do this. God knows if I can, anyone can. Good luck to you. Keep posting. It helps. MB8

KateL

It took me a few years to quit after realising I had a problem. But I got there in the end and have never looked back, I must point out however, that it can be done a lot more quickly than it took me, but never give up x

Carlotta

This is my second time around. I got sober in 2001, relapsed after 5 years and got sober again last year. I will be celebrating a year on the 20th.
I am not sure what you are doing but look around SR for recovery options, pick what you like (you can even do a combo) and give it 100 percent. Don't give up till the miracle happens.
Some people get sober the first time they go for it and stay sober for the remainder of their lives while others have many failed attempts. Just look at what you were doing and (more importantly) not doing, what happened to make you pick up and make the necessary adjustments. Learn from your mistakes and move on and forward You can do it.

Taking5

If you want different results, you have to do something different. What are you going to do differently this time around?

MaidenNZ

Needtostopthis, I feel your frustration... It makes no sense at all. Sometimes I feel in complete control of this thing and then 5 mins later I can find myself drinking...I mean WTF?

Hevyn

Never give up Needtostop. You've acknowledged that you can't continue on this way & that's great. I agree that we have to be ready, but in the meantime something really bad/dangerous could happen.

It took me quite a few tries to stop - but there were many half-hearted attempts. I didn't really believe I had to quit all together for a long time - kept thinking I just lacked willpower. Terrible things kept happening that led me to admit I could never manage it. That's when I found SR and got serious. You can do it - glad you are here and reaching out.

jkb

I was a chronic relapser right up until I wasn't. What changed for me was I decided I would not drink NO MATTER WHAT. A few months in and after I had beat the craving many times I realized I wanted to be sober NO MATTER WHAT.

Jess

Dee74

It took me fifteen years of trying on at least a weekly basis, needtostopthis.

For much of that time tho I was just doing the same thing - an unfocused kind of trying with no support, no forward planning and an unwillingness to change anything in my life.

coming here is great for support

Maybe think about what you can do differently - what can you try that you haven't tried before?

What changes do you need to make to your life to support you choice for sobriety?

never give up - you can do this - you just maybe need to try some other approaches?

D

needtostopthis

Thank you everyone. I know I feel like I'm ready this time. I remember my half attemps before and I knew I wasn't ready because I would think oh well I know this is not forever, you can still drink here and there. I mean at parties and such. I would convince myself that was still alright as long as I stopped drinking SO MUCH. What stupid thinking. Now I think if this is, it this is it. There is no going back. I can honestly say that if I quit I don't want to drink at parties or anything. So I know I am in a better mindset. I just need to get over this 3 day hurdle. At 3 days I loose all control. Once I get past that I know it will be easier. I did it before, after 3 days the it was easier, The days just went by and I didn't think so much about booze anymore, to bad I thought I should reward myself after 3 weeks sober.

Sorry about the typos. Head is hurting like crazy right now. Oh the joys of alcohol.

Bubovski

I am into my ninth month of sobriety after drinking (to all degrees) for over 50 years.
What a waste of quality time! I did rehab 20 years ago, joined AA,only to give it away to attempt "normal drinking". No normal drinking for me; rather, I walked a ridiculous, dumb, and miserable fine line............You can do it! Just ain't worth all that heartache!

doggonecarl

I tried to quit drinking a bunch of times. I tried to recover from my alcoholism twice. Succeeded the second time.

The difference? Admitting I had problem. Accepting I could never drink again. Ever. And working every day to stay that way.

sugarbear1

Way too many years and way too many really bad decisions later!

soberhawk

I tried to moderate for years, I have stopped once before for ½ a year – but not with the intention to stop forever, I intended to take a break to balance things out.

I am rather stubborn, I am not sure how I would handle a relapse.

And I am seldom tempted now.

I came home new years night a couple of hours after midnight, and had been around some people that drank. I was a little sad as holidays often make me feel and one of my son had been at home with some friends. There were some open bottle of wines and a half packet of cigarettes in the kitchen - they had moved on to some party.

Sad, alone, tiered and an opportunity. It was tempting to sit on the stairs to the garden and drink some wine and smoke a cigarette. When I thought it through the temptation fainted. It takes some time to let the cravings and urges die out, they probably never do fully but almost. If I would give in to them ones I would start from scratch, any temptation would be unbearable. I would have been so angry at myself next day – it would have been a miserable start of a new year.

I have a strong feeling that temptations are lies, I do hope it stays this way.

EverySngleNight

I "quit" drinking almost every time I had a hangover. The times that I didn't, I just kept the train a'rollin. So that's approximately 1,825 times, give or take. ;-) This time, I got into treatment. It feels different and I'm very hopeful that I won't have to endure try #1,826. Hang in there!

least

It took me almost two years of 'trying' half heartedly. But when I finally, as Carl said, knew I could never drink again, I was able to stay sober.

freshstart57

I quit, once and for all, once. I went through a list of things that day in my mind. Could I be bored enough to drink? Angry enough to drink? Sad enough to drink? Depressed? Lonely? In enough physical or mental or psychological pain to drink? Is there anything, even my impending death, that could make me drink?

My answer was no to all of those, and yes to me and the future life I deserve.

Change4good

I am 41. I knew I was an alcoholic at 21. I quit SO many times, just to pick up again. I am sober now, and it feels different. I will never let my guard down though. Never.

karate

I just got mad and disgusted at the entire process .

No one can tell you ,but when you are ready you will know .

A change takes place mentally ,You just get tired of the wasted money, hangovers ,headaches ,and feeling like CRAP .

You see beer for sale at wally world ,and think ' what idiot is going to buy that and drink it "

Leana

I quit on my first time but it took me a long time to get to the point where I was done with alcohol. But once I did, I never looked back.