Wow, GracieLou just nailed it.

I have often pondered why, with all the devastating events that had occurred over the years, that my decision was made one morning in the quiet of my kitchen after nothing big. Nothing out of the norm had happened. Just another hangover from the night before and the ritualistic event of a verbal altercation with my husband.

I can only attribute it to the fact that where everyone else was sick of me and my actions that it was finally ME who was sick of myself. I allowed the reality of the scope of the problem to sink in while I was standing there alone and for the first time in my life the denial lifted. I gave in and accepted the fact that I can't drink. Not because of how everyone else felt about it but because of how I felt about it.

I now truly understand what quitting for yourself means and why it's the only way that sobriety will work. You have to be 100% sick and tired of who you are and that feeling has to be present from that point forward. The decision has to be unconditional.

Wow, nicely put you two!

Now add 20 years to your lives ladies and a touch of this fear: "This is going to reduce my life to maybe another year, tops, if I keep this self deconstruction up at this pace."

A close family member lost their battle with alcoholism and died a horrible death. He was the person I learned my drinking habits from and sometimes I wonder if his spirit was there to help me see myself with unbiased eyes for the first time in years because one day it just clicked that his fate would also be mine if I didn't stop.

Also having a child was a huge motivator. I say this a lot, so ignore if you've read it before, but when the desire to quit popped into my brain, a voice inside, just a tiny bit louder than my A told me to grab onto sobriety with both hands and hold on for dear life. I'm so glad I did.