OrdinaryBoy

Well it's been 16 days now since I had a drink, anxiety is a lot better, stomach has calmed down and the stabbing pains aren't as frequent. Don't feel as dizzy, less headaches, no pins and needles in hands and feet, no pains in back and chest. Despite how much better I'm feeling, I am craving a drink today more than ever. Feel so bored of life. Work, watching crap television, work, watching crap television. Day in day out. Feel like there is no fun in my life. I've been exercising and trying to keep myself busy but just keep thinking about going to the shop and getting 12 cold cans of lager. Would love that right now. I stopped smoking weed about 4-5 months ago and stopped cigs on New Years Eve. I just feel like all the things I got pleasure from I don't do anymore. I know how many problems they caused me, but I just feel so irritable and fed up! Anyone else feeling like this?

MSUDrunk

I feel exactly the same way. I keep thinking I can pick up two 24 oz. cans on the way home, drink them before I get there, and at least have a buzz and feel better. Then I realize I won't stop because I won't want to lose the buzz and I will wake up tomorrow hung over, pissed off, and back to square one. So I can either deal with that tomorrow or deal with this now. I really want beer, but I want to respect myself tomorrow morning.

OrdinaryBoy

Yeah, if I get 12 cans I will drink them all and will feel **** in the morning. I just feel so highly strung at the minute. Need to let off steam but can't but don't want to crack.

kflee

110%..I feel that way...Today is not as bad as yesterday for me, but I know exactly how you feel. I'm sure most of us do.
Don't do it. I am so glad I made it through yesterday. I logged onto SR the moment that voice said "just one glass of bubbles"..I went to lunch with friend and saw Champagne being served to another table. Almost lost my cool. Irritability almost got the best of me yesterday. You got this day in the palm of your hand. Make the best of it so tomorrow can be Day 17.

doggonecarl

I think most of us felt that way at 16 days. I know I did. Thought about drinking constantly, could imagine pouring a beer down my throat and how good it would feel. But I held out. It got easier to dismiss the insistent voice in my head and the images of drinking. Accumulating sober time became more satisfying than drinking.

You can do this.

OrdinaryBoy

I hope it gets easier. I can't bare the thought of feeling like this day after day for years on end. I could scream.

doggonecarl

It does. What are you doing for your recovery? Is you plan merely, "To quit drinking"? or are you doing something to address both the reasons you drank and the carnage of your drinking?

I ask because people who are white-knuckling their way through sobriety don't usually find the obsession lifted.

OrdinaryBoy

I've had counseling, that didn't work - I find it very patronizing. I was advised to go to rehab but didn't want that. I know why I drink the amount I do/did. I've just been coming on here when I've been feeling like I need a drink. There isn't anybody in my life I can talk to. The people I have tried talking to don't understand or have problems of their own.

doggonecarl

Well, if you struggle and drink, I hope you will be open-minded about recovery options. Good luck.

OrdinaryBoy

I've given everything a go other than rehab which I don't want because then it will become common knowledge that I've got a drink problem and I'd lose my job. I'm sure I'll feel better in the morning. It helps just to come on here and moan about it. Thank you all for understanding/helping.

zjw

my routine revolved around weed cigarettes and booze for years. when i finally quit it all booze and cigarettes being the last i was like geeze wtf now? what am i suppost to do with myself now? this is friggen boring! this is insane how do people live like this!! day in day out work eat dinner go to bed etc.. what a friggen drag!! I climbed the walls i had such bad anxiety etc.. But you know i kept thinking you dont see these non drinkers running around crying how boring and crappy there life is because they dont drink. Oh sure ions of people have there fix pills, drugs, ice cream wtvr. But there are some people that dont and they live seemingly ok lives. THinking that helped me realize sooner or later it will look up for me and it did.

I got occupied with anything to keep me busy. now I have over 2 years sober and I dont have those sorts of issues anymore thankfully. I got a whole new routine that doesn involve any of that or the bad side affects etc..

so it will get better.

OrdinaryBoy

That's reassuring to hear. I know it's just a transitional period at the moment and it was never going to be easy. I wish I could be normal and drink in moderation but I just can't stop once I start. I like drinking because I like the feeling of being totally out of it equally as much as I drink to block my past out. It's the buzz of it today that I'm craving. I've started eating loads of ice cream now, 4 to 5 tubs of Ben & Jerry's a week, I think I'm trying to find something to fill the gap. It's like I can't live my life without doing something I shouldn't. When I drank less, I was smoking up to 10-15 joints a day, when I cut out the weed I was drinking between 12 and 20 cans 3-4 times a week, when I tried cutting out both I smoked more cigs. It's hard going ridding all your vices. I'm just going to try staying focused on the person I want to be.

Dee74

I certainly felt that way at 16 days too. I'd drunk for years - it was my go to thing for any kind of emotion - I knew it would take a while for my brain to be rewired.

SR was a great help to me - it certainly kept me sober in the early days. If you feel you need more support tho there's nothing wrong with at least checking out recovery group options:

There's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.

D

Sudz No More

It really does get better, hold on. It takes a bit longer but it will happen. Hang in there, you will never get passed it if you give in.

Hevyn

Hi OrdinaryBoy. I'm in agreement with the others - it's early days yet for you. 16 days is a wonderful achievement - but you are still in the process of healing and adjusting to your 'new normal'. Not many of us would stay sober if we felt miserable & empty all the time. You'll go through many phases, and it will all change for the better. Glad you are here to talk it over.

KarenSW

Have you thought about trying AA?

Bostonsportsfan

I'm on day 14 and understand where you're coming from. I also quit weed about 4-5 months ago, so now a days I don't smoke or drink. I've been doing one or the other since 15, so it's an adjustment. I miss the pleasure both of them gave me, but it's something I need to change.

kflee

I struggled and fought against rehab for same reason. My job is to high risk to lose after 9 years of internships,externship, residency and all other requirements to get where I did. I never drank at work, but I love my career.
So I understand that. Just make sure you do what is best for you to stay sober.

Gal220

Are you really craving or are you bored and therefore thinking about alcohol?

If you're just bored, sometimes part of the problem can be resolved if you find other ways to spend your time. Now that you're not drinking, you probably have a lot of time on your hands. I ran into the same problem initially and recently found I watch WAY too much television. (In my defense, I have a toddler and a newborn, so I'm not only trying to adjust my hobbies and such to family living, but am exhausted! How funny is it that I feel the need to explain myself here?!) So I've been trying to just turn it off. But then I sit there and think, "Now what." What do I do to fill this time? So I'm working on that. So maybe it's time to begin a hobby? Read that book you've always wanted to read? Start jogging? Whatever it is. Take the opportunity to do something you've always wanted to do and never had the time for. Now you've got time!

If it's really about drinking, though, that's a whole 'nother thing. You might find you need more support or a different plan of action than you currently have. I've never been to rehab, but my husband went. It's my understanding that it's only a start at getting sober. You then have to learn to live sober. That's what it sounds like you're struggling with. Rehab isn't really a long-term recovery plan.