Recovery Facebook Groups
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 600
Recovery Facebook Groups
Whats your opinion on local recovery Facebook groups?
A new one has started in my locality of which many local fellowship members were added without being asked. Whilst most of us know each other, I can't help feeling it is overwhelming for a newcomer. Imagine for instance someone comes to a few meetings adds one or two they contact with to Facebook, then to find they get added to a group showing their surname to everyone in the group.
This particular group has dropped the AA name from it, they have also made it secret. Whilst some enjoy using these sort of groups there are others who do not like to use Facebook for their recovery.
My own opinion is that anonymity should be respected and just because its a secret group anonymity is still breached, as adding someone to these groups is showing everyone in the AA local meetings their surname.
Whats your opinion?
A new one has started in my locality of which many local fellowship members were added without being asked. Whilst most of us know each other, I can't help feeling it is overwhelming for a newcomer. Imagine for instance someone comes to a few meetings adds one or two they contact with to Facebook, then to find they get added to a group showing their surname to everyone in the group.
This particular group has dropped the AA name from it, they have also made it secret. Whilst some enjoy using these sort of groups there are others who do not like to use Facebook for their recovery.
My own opinion is that anonymity should be respected and just because its a secret group anonymity is still breached, as adding someone to these groups is showing everyone in the AA local meetings their surname.
Whats your opinion?
Kaleidoscope eyes
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: London
Posts: 5,243
I joined one and all my fb friends were notified. It was embarassing and I asked why the posts were not kept secret and they replied, you should be out and proud.' Another rcovery group who said all forms of recovery ideas are welcome, banned me as soon as I said I didn't attend AA anymore. They kept saying things like, 'if you don't give yourself to God you will die.' But I am still here and sober so they were quite mistaken. I give them a wide berth now.
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
If anonymity matters, then being FB friends with people in recovery can be an issue. Certain things are shared, sometimes groups we join, or even occasional posts by others who might not feel a need to remain anonymous.
I don't do it. I can't imagine why a newbie would friend others on FB, that they don't know etc. But then I keep my "friends" list small and limited to actual friends. People can't add you to a group unless you've friended them
I don't do it. I can't imagine why a newbie would friend others on FB, that they don't know etc. But then I keep my "friends" list small and limited to actual friends. People can't add you to a group unless you've friended them
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Originally Posted by KateL 
I joined one and all my fb friends were notified. It was embarassing and I asked why the posts were not kept secret and they replied, you should be out and proud.' Another rcovery group who said all forms of recovery ideas are welcome, banned me as soon as I said I didn't attend AA anymore. They kept saying things like, 'if you don't give yourself to God you will die.' But I am still here and sober so they were quite mistaken. I give them a wide berth now.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
Originally Posted by KateL
I joined one and all my fb friends were notified. It was embarassing and I asked why the posts were not kept secret and they replied, you should be out and proud.' Another rcovery group who said all forms of recovery ideas are welcome, banned me as soon as I said I didn't attend AA anymore. They kept saying things like, 'if you don't give yourself to God you will die.' But I am still here and sober so they were quite mistaken. I give them a wide berth now.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: OZ
Posts: 2,055
Can you imagine...
Everyone being notified of your recovery status, out there for all the world to see, forever.
I would be mortified. Only to answered with "You should be out and proud", That should be for me to decide whom I tell.
You are fabulous, and alway so helpful. KateL
Everyone being notified of your recovery status, out there for all the world to see, forever.
I would be mortified. Only to answered with "You should be out and proud", That should be for me to decide whom I tell.
You are fabulous, and alway so helpful. KateL
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
Originally Posted by Threshold
People can't add you to a group unless you've friended them
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,896
If we aren't very diligent, Facebook membership can become a nightmare. I don't use my real name on FB (just like I don't use my real name here) and I only have a very limited number of friends. I think I have about 7 in all and two of them are my daughters.
Check your privacy settings regularly. I have mine set where no one can see my page unless they are a friend. Not friends of friends...just my friends. I have never had a problem.
Check your privacy settings regularly. I have mine set where no one can see my page unless they are a friend. Not friends of friends...just my friends. I have never had a problem.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
My opinion is that Facebook itself is a colossal waste of time and mostly just a vanity outlet. I cancelled my account about 3 years ago and it was one of the best things I have ever done.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 600
Thanks for the replies. With this being a secret group there is no possibility of it showing up on your newsfeed as having joined, my main issue is that it has been overwhelming to a couple of newcomers that I know. The other thing is there are some in AA that I'd rather they not have access to my Facebook page, being added to the group I feel should be by invite, not this idea of just being added.
Its not really my thing to post about recovery on Facebook, though I realise others do.
Its not really my thing to post about recovery on Facebook, though I realise others do.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 442
Facebook is a terrible idea for anyone concerned about anonymity. The idea of AA (anonymous!?!?! hahahah) on facebook is laughable.
DO NOT JOIN ANY FACEBOOK GROUP THAT YOU ARE UNWILLING TO SHARE WITH THE WORLD AT SOME POINT !
Facebook has some really nice datamining tools that it sells to anyone willing to pay and also makes public in some locations.
Facebook *will* sell your anonymity.
Introducing Facebook Graph Search
https://www.facebook.com/about/graphsearch
This search tool letts you find out all the stuff your friends are interested in, have "liked" or joined or followed or commented on.. It build correlations and patterns.
BUT... Thats just the search they make available for *free* -- if you are willing to pay, I expect there is a whole other world of data to be mined.
So, dont do it folks !
DO NOT JOIN ANY FACEBOOK GROUP THAT YOU ARE UNWILLING TO SHARE WITH THE WORLD AT SOME POINT !
Facebook has some really nice datamining tools that it sells to anyone willing to pay and also makes public in some locations.
Facebook *will* sell your anonymity.
Introducing Facebook Graph Search
https://www.facebook.com/about/graphsearch
This search tool letts you find out all the stuff your friends are interested in, have "liked" or joined or followed or commented on.. It build correlations and patterns.
BUT... Thats just the search they make available for *free* -- if you are willing to pay, I expect there is a whole other world of data to be mined.
So, dont do it folks !
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 442
Originally Posted by suki44883
No drama for me. That's how I keep up with my daughters and my grandchildren. If you're careful, you won't have problems.
Facebook is fantastic fun, but you cannot trust your privacy to it... Never.
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
Originally Posted by Taking5
But if you have friended them, they can add you to ANY group, without your permission. This is my issue. And anonymity of course.
I'm one of those who like to keep my worlds seperate.
I totally understand anonymity issues.
Awesome for people who are out and proud...but that's not safe, feasible or what's best for all of us.
I know that people have invited me to join their groups, and their invitation might show up on my newsfeed, but I haven't had anyone put me in their group without my permission.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,896
By being careful, I mean not revealing anything I wouldn't want to be made public. No one should EVER expect privacy when it comes to anything on the internet. I don't give statuses. I don't join groups, I don't spread my personal business around and I do not use my real name. I don't have my family members specified as "family." They are in with the other 5 people (that I know and trust) as friends.
Again, if you are diligent, you shouldn't have any problems.
Again, if you are diligent, you shouldn't have any problems.
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
I was very surprised when I got into recovery how many people seemed affronted that I actually cared to remain anonymous!
They wanted to know where I lived, worked, what my spouse did, where my kids went to school. I KNOW that generally that is normal polite small talk...but recovery group isn't quite a normal situation.
I love FB and haven't had any issues with it, but I do keep my friends group small, and people who I am actually friends/family with. I use it to keep in touch with them and it's drama free. If I don't want to see what someone is up to I can change my privacy settings, and yes, remember nothing is totally private, so act accordingly.
As always it IS up to us to protect our anonymity etc. We can't put it out there and then be angry someone else didn't protect it.
They wanted to know where I lived, worked, what my spouse did, where my kids went to school. I KNOW that generally that is normal polite small talk...but recovery group isn't quite a normal situation.
I love FB and haven't had any issues with it, but I do keep my friends group small, and people who I am actually friends/family with. I use it to keep in touch with them and it's drama free. If I don't want to see what someone is up to I can change my privacy settings, and yes, remember nothing is totally private, so act accordingly.
As always it IS up to us to protect our anonymity etc. We can't put it out there and then be angry someone else didn't protect it.
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