Desire to stop drinking.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 23
Desire to stop drinking.
I know the only requirement for attendance at AA is the desire to stop drinking. I attend regularly and am on 4th step with sponsor. My question is, I still want to drink, I don't, but I want to. I don't want to stop drinking, I want to not want to drink, is this just something that comes later on? I'm making it through right now, but don't know if I can go for the rest f my life wanting to drink. Any thoughts would be appreciated.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
welcome!! good question.
it took a few months for me before I made it a full day without wanting or thinking about a drink.
the 10th step promises have come true for me:
And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone - even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality - safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is our experience. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.
it was a result of working the steps.
I had a day early on where I was struggling real bad with wanting to drink. called the man who was my 1st sponsor about 10 ish at night he said,"tom, why not just not drink for the rest of today. if you feel like drinkin tomorrow, call me 1st."
so I made it throught he rest of the day, but the next day it was back, so I called him:
"I made it through last night and ya said if I felt like drinkin tomorrow to call ya. well, its tomorrow and I want to drink real bad."
he replied," well, yer screwed because it aint tomorrow. its today" then hung up on me.
today is the only day I have to not drink.
it took a few months for me before I made it a full day without wanting or thinking about a drink.
the 10th step promises have come true for me:
And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone - even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality - safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is our experience. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.
it was a result of working the steps.
I had a day early on where I was struggling real bad with wanting to drink. called the man who was my 1st sponsor about 10 ish at night he said,"tom, why not just not drink for the rest of today. if you feel like drinkin tomorrow, call me 1st."
so I made it throught he rest of the day, but the next day it was back, so I called him:
"I made it through last night and ya said if I felt like drinkin tomorrow to call ya. well, its tomorrow and I want to drink real bad."
he replied," well, yer screwed because it aint tomorrow. its today" then hung up on me.
today is the only day I have to not drink.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Bklyn. NY
Posts: 1,859
How long have you been sober?
For just about everyone I've known who goes to meetings and applies the steps to their lives, the desire to drink leaves. For me it got easier after a month or 2, and by 6 months the desire was pretty much done with. To the best of my recollection anyhow. I haven't had any urge to drink in over 29 years now. A thought here and there maybe once in a very blue moon, but I wouldn't call it an urge. I believe you're on the right path, may just take a little bit of time.
Oh yeah.. Not 100% sure I understand your intent. Not wanting to drink would lead to not drinking, and is kinda the same thing as I see it. Unless you want to not want to drink, in order to be able TO drink, without wanting to drink more... In which case, uhh... Well, that's a whole different story.
For just about everyone I've known who goes to meetings and applies the steps to their lives, the desire to drink leaves. For me it got easier after a month or 2, and by 6 months the desire was pretty much done with. To the best of my recollection anyhow. I haven't had any urge to drink in over 29 years now. A thought here and there maybe once in a very blue moon, but I wouldn't call it an urge. I believe you're on the right path, may just take a little bit of time.
Oh yeah.. Not 100% sure I understand your intent. Not wanting to drink would lead to not drinking, and is kinda the same thing as I see it. Unless you want to not want to drink, in order to be able TO drink, without wanting to drink more... In which case, uhh... Well, that's a whole different story.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
Originally Posted by MSUDrunk 
I'm making it through right now, but don't know if I can go for the rest f my life wanting to drink.
I think one of the most miserable times in sobriety is that period between when we've put the drink down and when we start getting some relief from the Steps. If you've thoroughly done Step 1, then you know the only way that obsession is removed is through a spiritual awakening as the result of the Steps. That's why we don't waste any time in getting down to business with the Steps.
It would have been impossible for me to stay sober if I still had that compulsion to drink and had to still struggle with that on a daily basis. The miracle is, I don't have to. I don't even have to think about drinking, and I've never had to make the decision whether to drink or not since taking the Steps. The 10th Step promises talk about having the problem removed and being placed in a position of neutrality. In my own experience, although I was getting a lot of relief from the Steps fairly early on, that miracle of the problem being removed happened somewhere around the amends process, right there around Step 10.
AA is not about continuing to struggle against the desire to drink. It's about giving up the struggle and having the struggle removed. Keep at it and it will happen for you just like it has for us.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
but don't know if I can go for the rest f my life wanting to drink.
I still fantasise about drinking then its promptly followed with ho hum it just doesnt work like that for me however and i move on. Or if i get really angry I'll think ya know a beer would make me feel better right now then i think yeah and 15 more after that i'll feel a hell of a lot worse. Thats about how it goes for me when i actually ponder having a drink. It took a long time to get to that point for me.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 110
I'm only three weeks in but I don't want to drink. The last day I did drink I only had two drinks and somewhere during the second something did click and I just didn't want another. This is my second real attempt at sobriety and the first go round I never got past the urge.
2Cor5:17
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Between Doctor's opinion & pg 164
Posts: 4,187
Welcome to SR
Seems to me that your head is tellin you to drink, but your heart says no. Otherwise why would you go to a mtg? Which is understandable; the urge & obsession takes a while to go away. But ask yourself if quitting coz of fam/friends, court mandated or sick & tired of being sick & tired?
Seems to me that your head is tellin you to drink, but your heart says no. Otherwise why would you go to a mtg? Which is understandable; the urge & obsession takes a while to go away. But ask yourself if quitting coz of fam/friends, court mandated or sick & tired of being sick & tired?
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
You may feel different after that 4th step.
My desire to drink was gone from day one but my obsession to hide was not. I still wanted to hide, I still had anger and the resentments. Once I got past the 4th and 5th step things changed.
I was able to let go of the resentments which fueled the anger. Once the anger was quiet, the obsession to hide was gone.
We all struggle with different emotions that seem to prey on us deeper than other ones. Once in while, mainly when I feel stress, that hiding obsession rears its ugly head. I don't want to drink but that is where my mind goes, escape.
Keep moving forward and you will get there, one day at a time.
My desire to drink was gone from day one but my obsession to hide was not. I still wanted to hide, I still had anger and the resentments. Once I got past the 4th and 5th step things changed.
I was able to let go of the resentments which fueled the anger. Once the anger was quiet, the obsession to hide was gone.
We all struggle with different emotions that seem to prey on us deeper than other ones. Once in while, mainly when I feel stress, that hiding obsession rears its ugly head. I don't want to drink but that is where my mind goes, escape.
Keep moving forward and you will get there, one day at a time.
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