iloveme

Sooo, I drank last night....I was romancing the stone.
I don't have an excuse.
I did because I wanted to.
I will tell my sponsor, and all my friends in the program, but the simple truth is I wanted to.
I had 3 mos and 5 days. it was torturing me. screaming my name. i had had enough.
Anyone relate?

I know I disappointed others.....I can deal with that....but swear to God don't put your nose up to me....cause that is ********!

silentrun

I tried to get drunk right about then. It was only once and it was over 7 months ago. Just don't let it turn into more. Fessing up to it is good.

Kat60

I can totally relate...been there, done it!

You did it, it's done, you fessed up...
Now what do you want for yourself from here??

No one has (or will) put their nose up at you sweetie, we are all here for the same reason, aren't we?

Wishing you some peace today as you sort out your next steps!

Kat

doggonecarl

Wanting to is an excuse...your addiction's. Every time I drank after quitting I thought it was something I wanted. But it really wasn't. My disease wanted to drink...needed to drink. I wanted to never drink again, never wanted to be plagued by the obsession that took over my reason.

I've succeeded, blessed to be sober almost 3 and half years. You can too!

iloveme

obsessive thinking......yes I have been doing that!!!!why though?

foolsgold66

I want to drink as well. I think about it at least once every day. However, what I want MORE than that is for my life to be fulfilling, or at the very least peaceful. I can't have that if I drink.

I'm glad you posted. Please keep trying.

silentrun

If you are like me it takes longer than 3 months to go away. Put this behind you and keep going. It wasn't until the end of my second straight 90 or 6 months after starting this that I got true relief from the thoughts. Everyone heals differently but at 3 months that's a lot to expect.

SoberCouch

Obsessive thinking? I have that! I've been told it's because I'm an alcoholic.

The steps and outside help have given me the tools to work with obsessive thinking.

SC

ScottFromWI

Dissapointing others is really not of importance as you can only control your actions, not what others think of them.

What is important is dissapointing yourself and being honest with yourself. Hopefully you can "deal with" that in your own in regards to your commitment to sobriety.

zjw

you know I have not relapsed with drinking. I do follow a very strict diet. and I try and remain as vegan as possible. but you know now and then I get that itch for a nice steak or something. I let the itch fester i'll let it go on for a week or so then if i cant seem to get past it i say oh screw it and i have a steak. 99% of the time that is good enough for me for the next few months or so and i normally dont even enjoy it all that much I just have to get it out of my system per say.

I know my situation sounds sorta lame compared to scratching the drinking itch. But the point is rather simlier. If you just cant get past it and you feel the urge to scratch it after wrestling with it for days on end so be it get it out of your system and move on to being sober again. But you do have to realize your playing with fire. Sooner or later you might scratch that itch and wake up in a ditch drunk 10 years later not knowing how this happened.

for some reason I have not yet felt the need to scratch the beer itch I suppose i'm lucky or just terrified of screwing myself again.

But I can see where your coming from. My advice would be to be careful!

EndGameNYC

One of the more honest and sobering comments I've read here.

Sudz No More

It Happens... just back on the horse and ride. I had a lot of those slips around 3 months, I think it is one of the hardest hurdles to get over but you just have to stretch a little farther the next time to get over it and finish the race. For me that race ended around 7 months. This time out just focus all your energy on not letting the mental impulses get the best of you. Hold out past 6 months and you will see the light at the end of the tunnel.

MaxxPower

was it fun?

I fantasize about drinking everyday, but somehow I manage not to pick up.

just over 5 months sober..and its driving me nuts also.

KateL

No one is looking down their nose at you. I have done this hundreds of times. Stick around and something will click. xxxxx

Sally3127

Been there, done that. It happens. But that was yesterday. Today is a new day. Just don't drink.

MrTumble

i also keep hitting the 3 month wall, its annoying, but on the bright side, its 3 months sober, which I think is really a step in the right direction.

and I don't think anyone here feels let down if you or I slips, there isnt any obligation to be perfect, we're here voluntarily to help each other and were also here voluntarily to quit drinking .

But hey, Id like to see if Sudz is right and whether 7 months is a milestone for me also.. Maybe this time...

DarkDays

Rinse and repeat cycle , nothing magically changes.

Make a big plan never to drink again EVER and never give in to your AV.

You can do it.

sugarbear1

I finally stopped when the alcohol didn't work for me anymore. It took me 25 years. In that time, I tried to stay stopped, but I couldn't.

It takes what it takes for us to want to stay stopped more than we want to drink.

I couldn't live without drinking; that is my alcoholism.

Today, I no longer need to drink to deal with life.

I wish you well.

Love & hugs,
~SB

Doug39

After 25 years of daily drinking, I quit July 2013.

I lasted 4 months until around Thanksgiving. I continued on drinking from there, right into Christmas and New Years but I am currently not drinking.

This time I am not going to count days, constantly think about sobriety and over analyze everything I do. I am just going to live my life, stay busy and try not to drink.

JaylaaKent

I quit counting days too. I guess I quit obsessing after I realized, I just can't drink and drinking never makes anything better. Always worse............always. Might as well drink a bottle of poison. You'll get to that point. I relapsed after getting out of detox. I'm sure my family thought I was nuts - but yup that's alcoholism. You'll get there.