Tetra

I am on a trip with my friends and we went out tonight. Truthfully, I had not been to a club in years. I had diet coke only. I was trying to be polite to some guy and he was letting me know that he wanted to come back to my hotel room. I texted my friend to join us and when he arrived I got up to go. This guy started calling me nasty names. I must say I had never been called "cold bitch" before. I know I could have handled the situation better but I am extremely upset. I have been crying and I am never going out again. I feel like it's my fault.

Dee74

you have every right to tell the guy no. Not your fault in the slightest

I'm sorry he was nasty but not every guy is like that...I'm not sure what the ratio of nice guys is in night clubs tho.

there are better places to meet people I think

foolsgold66

I'm sorry this happened Tetra. Sounds like you weren't comfortable so you got out quick. That sounds smart, I'm sorry you took some crap for it.

suki44883

You may have dodged a bullet, Tetra. You were smart to call in your friend. There's no telling what may have happened if that guy got you alone. He sure turned nasty in a hurry.

TigerLili

He might have been drunk or high. It was nothing you did.

Maybe don't feel obliged to be polite to strange men in bars. Turn your back, fiddle with your phone, etc. Physically move to another seat or stand somewhere else. You have no obligation to talk to them or give them a moment of your time.

He sure showed his true colours so lucky you didn't go anywhere with him.

You're not at fault here.

Notimetoloose

You hold your head up high, you did well drinking diet coke.

And don't you let that wingnut upset you, he's probably just posterizing as a through of from the rejection.

EndGameNYC

This article came across my desktop just before reading your comments.

6 Subtle Signs Your Boundaries Are Being Broken | World of Psychology

SoberLife2014

If I were in your shoes I think I'd be upset too. No one likes to be called nasty names. But the important thing is that you're safe and you'll probably never have to see that guy again. He might have been drunk or on drugs like tiger said. Either way he sounds like a presumptuous jerk that needs a good ass kicking. It is not your fault at all! You didn't make him say those awful things! If he were a gentleman, like you deserve, he would have reacted differently.

MrTumble

When I would frequent nightclubs (quite some time back), it was common that youd meet women who might come across as being "cold". The nightclub scene lends itself to all sorts of mess, too many guys "hunting" women, women getting sick of being hassled by pushy guys, guys being drunk, some women who court the attention - good or bad. Most nightclub are designed for drunken and drugged people to go a bit mad in - unless you found one for the "saga" generation.

I think not going is preferable personally, nothing much there for sober people.

GLitz22

What happened to you is wrong. No question.
Since quitting booze I won't do clubs. Too many memories, or in fact lack of (!), times with alcohol and making a fool of myself. Knowing that most people get tanked up for clubbing nowadays, does not provide a good venue for recovering alcoholics who, like me, need to avoid such confrontations.
It was a lucky escape & reminder of what could have happened had you been not in control of yourself.
Well done and keep sober!