Sanantoniosober

This seems like something I should have admitted to at least myself ages ago, but I never did.

It's taken just over 10 months to be able to say that. I think at first I just kept hoping that I would be able to drink again one day, then when not drinking made me feel better I just kept on not drinking but never actually said those words.

I am a 10 year drinker and 315 days sober as of right now. I do not plan on ever drinking again.

Wait, scratch that.

I am never drinking again.

I said those words many times huddled over the toilet, but it took years to actually mean it.

After reading comments on here over the holiday, I realized I had never said this words to anyone or even to myself that I have a problem, so there it is.

Thanks for listening/reading.

kcvalentine

That's awesome!! Congratulations. It's sort of liberating to face it huh? Well done, sweetie. xo

Sanantoniosober

It is liberating, because it helps me see it as an allergy to alcohol.

No one would ever question someone allergic to shellfish for not eating shrimp, nor would the allergic person keep trying to eat it hoping to enjoy it like everyone else.

I can't drink because as an alcoholic, I have an adverse reaction to alcohol. And just like someone eating something they're allergic to, if I try to drink, it could kill me.

That was the most difficult part for me, accepting others can drink with no issues while I cannot.

tiel

Congrats!!!

Dee74

sounds like a turning point sanantoniosober



D

kcvalentine

I know exactly what you mean, San. I felt the same way in my early recovery. But I've come to find it's actually a blessing and that sobriety is my gateway to a more fulfilling, exciting and connected life. I'm really happy for you! xoxo

zjw

Congrats. I myself never said ti till i went to an AA meeting a year after i sobered up. i noticed they all said it "hi i'm bob an alchoolic" then they asked me to introduce myself since i was new. I was like oh great I guess i gotta say this now?!?! I new if i failed to deliver the "i'm an alcholic" part they might eat me alive or lecture me or who knows what they do if you dont fess up! I had also looked around that table wondering how in the heck my life ended up there etc..

But I spoke those words for the first time not sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing not sure if i should be ashamed or happy or what. I never had a drinking problem untill then i dont think. I never admited i had a problem and never felt i had one untill that moment.

Now i'm pretty proud to be an alcoholic its actually worked out well for me. For me its a good thing its helped me in so many ways. I dunno that i can legitamatly regret those years as these years would not be what they are without those years etc.. Hard to decribe really but I'm a better person having gone through this and made it so far etc..

CactusJill

That it the toughest part, for me and for lots of others. It took me years to get over that hump and to no longer care what others can do and to WANT recovery bad enough to go after it wholeheartedly.

Good for you for admitting the problem!

peacelovesober

Right on! Such a cathartic experience to put it all out there.