lonlyrockstar

sometimes i just want to end my own life. my husband keeps me sane.. i can't take this **** anymore. i drank again today.. i remember i had 6 beers left from the night before. i got really upset over some crap.. my husband shoved a beer at me to keep me calm..i told him great it's only 5pm and i'm gonna finish this before midnight.. Midnight is the cut off .. so we ended up getting more for me... another 6 pack.

Dee74

It's hard to gauge the level of seriousness in a post but I'd rather over compensate.

If you feel like you might be in danger of self harm please do read through the readings here and take note of the crisis numbers

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ease-read.html

You can also present yourself at any ER.

I remember very well the despair - but it would be a mistake to make any decisions based on how you feel right now.

There is hope of change, things can get better, and there is life after drinking lonly - there's abundant proof at that here

However bleak things may look tonight you're just as deserving of a better life as anyone else...take care of yourself

It comes down to making different choices - why not log on here instead of drinking next time?

and speak to your husband - tell him you don't want to use alcohol as a problem solver anymore

D

KateL

Keep trading and posting here too. I am sure you can take plenty from doing just that.. Keep safe xxxxx

Ghostlight1

I considered suicide many times while drinking. I just couldn't stop, and the days after drinking,well, I may as well been dead. I felt worse than what I imagined as death. I wished for death to come because I wasn't really living anymore.

But suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
After years of trying I finally did quit drinking.

If you are actively suicidal please seek help. Call a hotline or go to a hospital. It's not worth it to harm yourself over drinking. It's a problem that can be solved.

Sending you my thoughts and wish you the best.

Dan Dare

I have to believe that if it wasn't for the alcohol my younger brother would not have ended his life...

From one who has dealt with it first hand... don't even make it an option.

Look outside yourself and see what you would leave behind.
You can get better. It's a choice you have.
The other route leaves you with nothing for you and others to deal with the pain and loss. It ain't fun.
You don't ever have to deal with the morning after horrors again if you CHOOSE.

Take the path to a new life filled with choices.
Show yourself that you're the boss. I'm in the process and it feels great. Look around here - as they say, the proof is in the pudding. (Or the forums).

Peace and -

H.N.Y.

D.D.

zjw

when i quit i climbed the walls i wanted to smash something i wanted to scream the anxiety was awful my skin crawled i felt like electricity was shooting through my veins. i'd walk around with clenched fists and grit teeth and i was just beligerant and angry. In the end thats just how it was for me i had to push through that to get to the other side where it wasnt so bad anymore. My point is you can do it. It might s*** but you can get through it and it will be better. Picking up another drink is just prolonging the misery. its a terrible cycle.

Galactus

Everytime I have a good day I remind myself that I never would have had it if I did something ultimately stupid like suicide in the past.

Dee74

How are you today lonlyrockstar?

D