Bostonsportsfan

Not sure if this is the right word, but the hardest part of me staying sober is I resent everyone who can drink and party. I resent my mom who drinks every night. I resent my friends who can drink all they want with no problems. I'm not sure if I worded that right, but you get my point.

My boys came over tonight and were talking about last nights rager and how great it was. People were wondering where I was. I just felt so jealous, so pissed off.

Do others feel or have felt this way? I have the mindset if I can't get drunk no one can or I'm pissed about it. To stay sober that will need to change or it wont last long.

ScottFromWI

I used to feel left out, yes. But then what are you really being left out of....hangovers, embarrassing moments, potential dui's and a whole host of other "fun" stuff. We have to accept that we cannot drink like a normal person and while we may resent it it's the cold hard truth.

Dee74

I think it's very very common.

Accepting that I was different to others took a long time.
Being happy about that took even longer.

Surround yourself with people who understand - are you still thinking about AA?

D

caboblanco

You sound young Boston..I think it's harder when your young because your friends seem to throw caution at the wind...no alcoholics under 40 right? well 30..because this one is 33...seriously I don't know how young you are but I don't think there is much to miss if your not drunk..i hope you realize that

Bostonsportsfan

I am still thinking about AA, might call the guy tomorrow actually.

Everyone supports me. They see my problem and want me to stop drinking. They saw my downward spiral, drinking around the clock to keep withdrawals away, they know, It's all on me. Resenting them for fact their drinking is normal and mines not. The fact they can drink and party and I can't.

Bostonsportsfan

I'm 21...so it's just so hard to not feel left out when it's what people my age do. It's honestly the only reason I started drinking again after the 1st detox. I had the mindset I'd rather feel horrible then left out...it's stupid, but it's how I feel.

ScottFromWI

Keep in mind there are a lot of people that don't drink as well, even in your age group. It just seems like "everyone drinks" because we want to hang out with people like us. I would also recommend giving AA a try, if nothing else you'll meet people who have the same issues and participate in many non-drinking activities.

Bostonsportsfan

That's what I need. I need a support group of friends and support activities. Most of my friends don't drink a **** ton, but all big events booze is involved.

CactusJill

Good advice here.

I still sometimes feel left out, especially since my husband still drinks. I feel so alone sometimes, and boring. But then I kick myself in the butt and realize that no matter how bad I feel, I have to get over it because I am incapable of drinking normally. If I drink, it won't be a good time. It will be embarrassing and it may lead to fighting or driving drunk. I will feel sick and humiliated and depressed.

In short, fitting in just isn't worth it.

Ride it out. You know in your heart that you are better off sober, or you wouldn't be here. Follow your gut. There is life - a better life - after getting sober.

Bostonsportsfan

I know I'm better off sober, but sometimes my brain has other plans.

CactusJill

I hear that!!!

That is when I take it an hour at a time or a day at a time. When I first heard that in AA, I thought it was an old adage, but it really does work.

awuh1

Go to a meeting. If you get a chance say that it's your first meeting. Here is a schedule. district 17

Betcha a nickel you will be glad you did.

karate

I actually resent the alcohol its self ,To hell with something that could cause me so much misery .

I don't resent not drinking it ,that's a choice .

JTBIV

I remember this past summer stringing together three weeks without drinking. I still went out a few times with all my friends sipping on my diet coke while they had shot after shot. I actually had a really good time and didn't have to worry about how I was getting home. I guess I'm wondering if you can still party with your friends without drinking or would that be way too much of a trigger and risk to your sobriety? I totally get it if it is, just curious.

1newcreation

Envy maybe but not resentful...I learned pretty quick in the program that I'm the 1 that's allergic to alc not others that can drink normally. Get rid of the "resentment" if that's the word you feel, otherwise you're sobriety will be short lived

Itchy

I don't miss it at all. I do resent drinkers now when they go "alligator station" on me (All mouth no ears) and start the I know what you need crap. The sloppy and aggressive stupid stages I have to leave for, and early. Not because I'll drink or am jealous of those who can or do. But from sheer repulsion at seeing how much of an axehole I used to act like.

That was not a sub for the other similar word. It stands on its own. An axehole is the void in a hardened head usually filled with wood till it is solid.

karate

Join a martial arts Gym ,You will find lots of people that don't drink a single drop .

MaidenNZ

If youre athletic (I'm making assumptions based on age and profile picture). you could start organizing things like basketball games with your friends the day after they were out drinking. Keep the connection going. They will be suffering from a hangover. Great chance to kick their butts and reaffirm the reason why youre not drinking anymore.

karate

Drinking sucks ,why resent not getting a hangover and feeling like hell tomorrow ?

KateL

I took me a while, but now I always think I would rather be me than them xxxx