My New Years story
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Join Date: Nov 2013
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My New Years story
I've still been struggling with relationship issues with EXGF. Seems clear (for reasons unknown) that she wants to keep me around, but won't really engage me, support me, communicate with me or show any real concern.
My Sister invited me to go to a human canvas New Years dance party. It was mainly a singles event thrown in an art studio, some 150+ people attended and there was drinking (champagne and BYOB). You wear white shirts/clothes, and are basically given paint cups and brushes. It was an interesting way to socialize before the dancing started. It's easy to chat with people as one or the other is being painted, great ice breaker. I actually had a good enough time for much of the night I stopped worrying about what my EXGF was doing.
This was really my second social outing as a sober dude, and I'm becoming okay with it. Interesting that as the evening wore on it became evident who was getting trashed, and who wasn't. I did quit a bit of dancing despite my typical need to be well buzzed to feel comfortable. It didn't hurt my feelings that I got asked out (not ready, but thanks). And I suppose it's predictable enough the gal I was most drawn to was a heavy drinking, pot smoking commitment-phobe. Again, not in a place to be with someone new yet, but it taught me some things just the same. I'm betting the "type" of woman I'm drawn to in the future will not be same as today. That may or may not apply to my EXGF, who knows.
EXGF was out dancing with a girlfriend, she texted me "Happy New Year!!!" at 12:01. It seems more to make sure she's staying in my head than anything else at this point. I'm getting so exhausted by her inconsistency I didn't even respond to her text last night. I'm not sure what I'll do about this stagnant thing we have together, but I need to stop allowing her to keep dragging me back to an unhealthy place, and focus on what's healthy. It's so hard because I still lover her very much.
At any rate, I went out, and had a decent time sober. It's gonna take a while before I can bring my "A-game" sober, but obviously the line between a-game and jerk was very thin while drinking, and drinking is no longer an option.
Happy New Year SR
My Sister invited me to go to a human canvas New Years dance party. It was mainly a singles event thrown in an art studio, some 150+ people attended and there was drinking (champagne and BYOB). You wear white shirts/clothes, and are basically given paint cups and brushes. It was an interesting way to socialize before the dancing started. It's easy to chat with people as one or the other is being painted, great ice breaker. I actually had a good enough time for much of the night I stopped worrying about what my EXGF was doing.
This was really my second social outing as a sober dude, and I'm becoming okay with it. Interesting that as the evening wore on it became evident who was getting trashed, and who wasn't. I did quit a bit of dancing despite my typical need to be well buzzed to feel comfortable. It didn't hurt my feelings that I got asked out (not ready, but thanks). And I suppose it's predictable enough the gal I was most drawn to was a heavy drinking, pot smoking commitment-phobe. Again, not in a place to be with someone new yet, but it taught me some things just the same. I'm betting the "type" of woman I'm drawn to in the future will not be same as today. That may or may not apply to my EXGF, who knows.
EXGF was out dancing with a girlfriend, she texted me "Happy New Year!!!" at 12:01. It seems more to make sure she's staying in my head than anything else at this point. I'm getting so exhausted by her inconsistency I didn't even respond to her text last night. I'm not sure what I'll do about this stagnant thing we have together, but I need to stop allowing her to keep dragging me back to an unhealthy place, and focus on what's healthy. It's so hard because I still lover her very much.
At any rate, I went out, and had a decent time sober. It's gonna take a while before I can bring my "A-game" sober, but obviously the line between a-game and jerk was very thin while drinking, and drinking is no longer an option.
Happy New Year SR
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Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 370
Another aside I forgot to share, when we were leaving the party, I saw this chick super drunk holding onto a bus sign. She staggered over to her BF who was taking a leak in the nearby bushes, crashing into him when reaching him. The picked themselves up and staggered away as I was warming up the car. Been there, done that, and I know exactly how she feels this morning too! Do NOT miss that one little bit.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
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Oh wow. I wish you could break away. I'm no expert in relationships, but this has to be miserable for you. Congratulations on your sobriety and how wonderful you had fun last night. If you can do the sobriety thing, you can do the get rid of the girlfriend thing. You are a strong person. You deserve better. Good luck My Man.
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,359
Originally Posted by NoJimmy 
I've still been struggling with relationship issues with EXGF. Seems clear (for reasons unknown) that she wants to keep me around, but won't really engage me, support me, communicate with me or show any real concern.
My Sister invited me to go to a human canvas New Years dance party. It was mainly a singles event thrown in an art studio, some 150+ people attended and there was drinking (champagne and BYOB). You wear white shirts/clothes, and are basically given paint cups and brushes. It was an interesting way to socialize before the dancing started. It's easy to chat with people as one or the other is being painted, great ice breaker. I actually had a good enough time for much of the night I stopped worrying about what my EXGF was doing.
This was really my second social outing as a sober dude, and I'm becoming okay with it. Interesting that as the evening wore on it became evident who was getting trashed, and who wasn't. I did quit a bit of dancing despite my typical need to be well buzzed to feel comfortable. It didn't hurt my feelings that I got asked out (not ready, but thanks). And I suppose it's predictable enough the gal I was most drawn to was a heavy drinking, pot smoking commitment-phobe. Again, not in a place to be with someone new yet, but it taught me some things just the same. I'm betting the "type" of woman I'm drawn to in the future will not be same as today. That may or may not apply to my EXGF, who knows.
EXGF was out dancing with a girlfriend, she texted me "Happy New Year!!!" at 12:01. It seems more to make sure she's staying in my head than anything else at this point. I'm getting so exhausted by her inconsistency I didn't even respond to her text last night. I'm not sure what I'll do about this stagnant thing we have together, but I need to stop allowing her to keep dragging me back to an unhealthy place, and focus on what's healthy. It's so hard because I still lover her very much.
At any rate, I went out, and had a decent time sober. It's gonna take a while before I can bring my "A-game" sober, but obviously the line between a-game and jerk was very thin while drinking, and drinking is no longer an option.
Happy New Year SR
My Sister invited me to go to a human canvas New Years dance party. It was mainly a singles event thrown in an art studio, some 150+ people attended and there was drinking (champagne and BYOB). You wear white shirts/clothes, and are basically given paint cups and brushes. It was an interesting way to socialize before the dancing started. It's easy to chat with people as one or the other is being painted, great ice breaker. I actually had a good enough time for much of the night I stopped worrying about what my EXGF was doing.
This was really my second social outing as a sober dude, and I'm becoming okay with it. Interesting that as the evening wore on it became evident who was getting trashed, and who wasn't. I did quit a bit of dancing despite my typical need to be well buzzed to feel comfortable. It didn't hurt my feelings that I got asked out (not ready, but thanks). And I suppose it's predictable enough the gal I was most drawn to was a heavy drinking, pot smoking commitment-phobe. Again, not in a place to be with someone new yet, but it taught me some things just the same. I'm betting the "type" of woman I'm drawn to in the future will not be same as today. That may or may not apply to my EXGF, who knows.
EXGF was out dancing with a girlfriend, she texted me "Happy New Year!!!" at 12:01. It seems more to make sure she's staying in my head than anything else at this point. I'm getting so exhausted by her inconsistency I didn't even respond to her text last night. I'm not sure what I'll do about this stagnant thing we have together, but I need to stop allowing her to keep dragging me back to an unhealthy place, and focus on what's healthy. It's so hard because I still lover her very much.
At any rate, I went out, and had a decent time sober. It's gonna take a while before I can bring my "A-game" sober, but obviously the line between a-game and jerk was very thin while drinking, and drinking is no longer an option.
Happy New Year SR
I agree that as you get healthier - you will most likely be drawn to a different type of woman and be able to have a much more fulfilling relationship than ever before.
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: UK
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"EXGF" has the "EX" in it for a reason.
Just cut ties completely mate, having a weird 'friendship' is obviously doing you no good at all. If it were, you wouldn't be talking about the probs she's causing you on SR. You didn't mention one positive about the relationship. Not one.
If i'm wrong, fair enough. Just my 2p.
Best of luck.
Just cut ties completely mate, having a weird 'friendship' is obviously doing you no good at all. If it were, you wouldn't be talking about the probs she's causing you on SR. You didn't mention one positive about the relationship. Not one.
If i'm wrong, fair enough. Just my 2p.
Best of luck.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Daytona Beach, FL
Posts: 425
My daughter does the same thing with an "ex" - they had been dating almost 2 years and were getting engaged, then he got another girl pregnant (this random girl and him were both drunk at a party go figure). SHE STILL talks to him and exchanged Christmas gifts!!!!! He keeps her strung along, although she broke up with him. Or I should say SHE lets him string her along. Her comment is "I miss him we had a past." Yeah well Jennifer Aniston had a past with Brad Pitt - but it's OVER, DONE, FINAL. Block cell phone, emails, and FB until you have some sobriety and clear head about this person. Even if you could get this person back all the things that caused you to break up would rear their ugly heads, and there was a reason you broke up. Some people would rather be miserable in a relationship than miserable alone. At least alone, you can control the misery being inflicted :P
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Out in the Sticks
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Originally Posted by Raider
OM Gosh, Karate! Did you really post that!!! Hahahahaha. You are a funny man! Loves. 
Yes ,I really did , Im not a fat slob by choice .
And yes it seemed to be very attractive to the opposite sex when I was separated ,Never went on a official date while wife was gone ,But was offered several times .
I worked out hard enough ,I was fit ,almost competition boxing "fit "
When I was a raging alcoholic .
I would actually drink 2 beers on the way to the gym .
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 1,778
That sounds like a fun event. Things like that are right up my alley. I'm glad you had a good time--isn't it interesting to people watch when you're sober? It's truly eye-opening. I say keep ignoring your ex girlfriend. It's easier to move on and heal that way.
Happy New Year.
Happy New Year.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 370
Originally Posted by nf1983
"EXGF" has the "EX" in it for a reason.
Just cut ties completely mate, having a weird 'friendship' is obviously doing you no good at all. If it were, you wouldn't be talking about the probs she's causing you on SR. You didn't mention one positive about the relationship. Not one.
If i'm wrong, fair enough. Just my 2p.
Best of luck.
Just cut ties completely mate, having a weird 'friendship' is obviously doing you no good at all. If it were, you wouldn't be talking about the probs she's causing you on SR. You didn't mention one positive about the relationship. Not one.
If i'm wrong, fair enough. Just my 2p.
Best of luck.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 370
Originally Posted by readerbaby71
That sounds like a fun event. Things like that are right up my alley. I'm glad you had a good time--isn't it interesting to people watch when you're sober? It's truly eye-opening. I say keep ignoring your ex girlfriend. It's easier to move on and heal that way.
Happy New Year.
Happy New Year.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 370
Originally Posted by JaylaaKent
My daughter does the same thing with an "ex" - they had been dating almost 2 years and were getting engaged, then he got another girl pregnant (this random girl and him were both drunk at a party go figure). SHE STILL talks to him and exchanged Christmas gifts!!!!! He keeps her strung along, although she broke up with him. Or I should say SHE lets him string her along. Her comment is "I miss him we had a past." Yeah well Jennifer Aniston had a past with Brad Pitt - but it's OVER, DONE, FINAL. Block cell phone, emails, and FB until you have some sobriety and clear head about this person. Even if you could get this person back all the things that caused you to break up would rear their ugly heads, and there was a reason you broke up. Some people would rather be miserable in a relationship than miserable alone. At least alone, you can control the misery being inflicted :P
Facebook is also mess. I'm friends with her daughter, I don't have the heart to unfriend her. I think I may just make the commitment to log out for 30-days and get away from that distraction for a while too.
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