Aa
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
I have NO idea how the steps work, I just know they do.
First time out I thought I had to understand them and how they worked...which hung me up from doing them.
Finally gave up on having/trying to understand and did them, and they worked. Did more for me than 13 years of therapy!
I'd suggest getting a sponsor and working the steps now, before you get distracted by too many other aspects of the program and fellowship. I mean, it's fine to get involved, but also easy to get pulled this way and that way by other concerns. There will be plenty of time for that later.
Congrats on your clean time! and congrats on taking responsibility and being proactive in your recovery.
First time out I thought I had to understand them and how they worked...which hung me up from doing them.
Finally gave up on having/trying to understand and did them, and they worked. Did more for me than 13 years of therapy!
I'd suggest getting a sponsor and working the steps now, before you get distracted by too many other aspects of the program and fellowship. I mean, it's fine to get involved, but also easy to get pulled this way and that way by other concerns. There will be plenty of time for that later.
Congrats on your clean time! and congrats on taking responsibility and being proactive in your recovery.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Huntington Woods, Michigan
Posts: 465
Originally Posted by Threshold 
I have NO idea how the steps work, I just know they do. First time out I thought I had to understand them and how they worked...which hung me up from doing them. Finally gave up on having/trying to understand and did them, and they worked. Did more for me than 13 years of therapy! I'd suggest getting a sponsor and working the steps now, before you get distracted by too many other aspects of the program and fellowship. I mean, it's fine to get involved, but also easy to get pulled this way and that way by other concerns. There will be plenty of time for that later. Congrats on your clean time! and congrats on taking responsibility and being proactive in your recovery.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 219
I like a lot of things about AA but be careful not to let others always do your thinking for you, as some members want to do. Some people in my new group have already started ordering me around and one lady told me I ended up with a controlling, abusive ex because I'm passive aggressive and manipulative. Really?? I'd bearly talked to her for five minutes and I don't believe she was that insightful or clairvoyant, just because she's sober now lol. But most people there have been compassionate and non-judgmental so far.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 852
Originally Posted by lovesymphony
I like a lot of things about AA but be careful not to let others always do your thinking for you, as some members want to do. Some people in my new group have already started ordering me around and one lady told me I ended up with a controlling, abusive ex because I'm passive aggressive and manipulative. Really?? I'd bearly talked to her for five minutes and I don't believe she was that insightful or clairvoyant, just because she's sober now lol. But most people there have been compassionate and non-judgmental so far.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Originally Posted by Bostonsportsfan
Still though, when I'm around them drinking it's a trigger and meeting some new sober friends wouldn't be a bad thing.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
The AA program, my sponsor, the meetings and the fellowship saved my life.
That said, I had to be open to suggestions and to follow through the steps and commitments. Willingness to change is key. My sponsor never told me what to do, she told me what she did and continues to do.
I go to a meeting on Saturday and while it is not a young peoples meeting, over half are young people. It is such a joy to be around their smiling faces and it keeps me young laughing at some of their antics. They are young, sober and enjoying life to the fullest. It is a true blessing to be around them. They are an inspiration.
That said, I had to be open to suggestions and to follow through the steps and commitments. Willingness to change is key. My sponsor never told me what to do, she told me what she did and continues to do.
I go to a meeting on Saturday and while it is not a young peoples meeting, over half are young people. It is such a joy to be around their smiling faces and it keeps me young laughing at some of their antics. They are young, sober and enjoying life to the fullest. It is a true blessing to be around them. They are an inspiration.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 852
Originally Posted by GracieLou
The AA program, my sponsor, the meetings and the fellowship saved my life.
That said, I had to be open to suggestions and to follow through the steps and commitments. Willingness to change is key. My sponsor never told me what to do, she told me what she did and continues to do.
I go to a meeting on Saturday and while it is not a young peoples meeting, over half are young people. It is such a joy to be around their smiling faces and it keeps me young laughing at some of their antics. They are young, sober and enjoying life to the fullest. It is a true blessing to be around them. They are an inspiration.
That said, I had to be open to suggestions and to follow through the steps and commitments. Willingness to change is key. My sponsor never told me what to do, she told me what she did and continues to do.
I go to a meeting on Saturday and while it is not a young peoples meeting, over half are young people. It is such a joy to be around their smiling faces and it keeps me young laughing at some of their antics. They are young, sober and enjoying life to the fullest. It is a true blessing to be around them. They are an inspiration.
Kaleidoscope eyes
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: London
Posts: 5,243
They can't make you do what you don't want to. Just listen, it could help loads. I went at the beginning and there were some pushy members who kept trying to get me to speak and I just politely said no thank you x
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Originally Posted by Bostonsportsfan
Ah yes us youngins and our antics. I'm interested in AA, but wouldn't want to talk for awhile. Do you need to share your story to a meeting to work the steps? Sober speaking to a room of people scares me. Drunk, no problem, but it's one of the things I used alcohol to fix. I'm not shy, but public speaking get's me.
This AA deal isn't like a normal transaction - if I do this/pay this, I get this or that. It's not really a support group, though there are a lot of supportive people. It's not a bunch of life coaches who will tell you what to do.
What we have is a solution to the drink problem that worked with us. When you've met a few of us, you can decide if you want what we have. If you do, then we will show you what we did and if you do the same things, there is a better than even chance you will get the same result.
I listened and watched, liked what I saw so I did what they did. It worked as promised.
As for understanding in advance, I found that impossible. For one thing, most of the things in those 9th step promises were beyond my experience. I had to take the steps to get the experience. This is much more about how it feels, than what it does.
As I said, I liked what I saw and had enough faith to believe that it might work for me too, if I did what they did. But right through, my actions in taking the steps, were miles ahead of my understanding. Understanding is not a preresquisite for it to work.
One final point, which would have worried me, the steps are not taken during meetings. Thye real work is done away from meetings, sometimes on our own, sometimes with our sponsor, but rarely in a meeting.
Have a little faith BSF. If it worked for me, it can work for you too.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Florida
Posts: 17
AA works. I relapsed when I stopped going to meetings. It can get repetitive, but you always here something you need to hear. There is actually a chapter in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous on "How it Works." Check out AA's website - the authorized publisher/disseminator - and click on Chapter 5 "How it Works. There are free mobile apps to get the literature on your phone or tablet as well. Basically, you "work" the steps with a sponsor. Every sponsor does it a little differently, but it involves getting really honest and building a foundation for maintenance of sobriety. Good Luck Dear!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
Originally Posted by Bostonsportsfan
Do you need to share your story to a meeting to work the steps?
Everyone is different so their comfort level varies. If you want to stand up and introduce yourself when they ask about newcomers then do so, if you don't, then don't. There are no set rules what you must do, it is more in line of what you are willing to do.
Go, listen and soak up the environment. Look for a young peoples meeting or a beginners meeting. What is the worse that can happen?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 852
Originally Posted by GracieLou
You do not have to do anything. You do not have to introduce yourself. You can just go to a meeting and listen. I will say that what you put into it makes a difference in what you get out of the program but that is for down the road.
Everyone is different so their comfort level varies. If you want to stand up and introduce yourself when they ask about newcomers then do so, if you don't, then don't. There are no set rules what you must do, it is more in line of what you are willing to do.
Go, listen and soak up the environment. Look for a young peoples meeting or a beginners meeting. What is the worse that can happen?
Everyone is different so their comfort level varies. If you want to stand up and introduce yourself when they ask about newcomers then do so, if you don't, then don't. There are no set rules what you must do, it is more in line of what you are willing to do.
Go, listen and soak up the environment. Look for a young peoples meeting or a beginners meeting. What is the worse that can happen?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 852
Originally Posted by Gottalife
I didn't talk for weeks. I was so full of fear I could barely string a sentence together. But listening did me a lot of good.
This AA deal isn't like a normal transaction - if I do this/pay this, I get this or that. It's not really a support group, though there are a lot of supportive people. It's not a bunch of life coaches who will tell you what to do.
What we have is a solution to the drink problem that worked with us. When you've met a few of us, you can decide if you want what we have. If you do, then we will show you what we did and if you do the same things, there is a better than even chance you will get the same result.
I listened and watched, liked what I saw so I did what they did. It worked as promised.
As for understanding in advance, I found that impossible. For one thing, most of the things in those 9th step promises were beyond my experience. I had to take the steps to get the experience. This is much more about how it feels, than what it does.
As I said, I liked what I saw and had enough faith to believe that it might work for me too, if I did what they did. But right through, my actions in taking the steps, were miles ahead of my understanding. Understanding is not a preresquisite for it to work.
One final point, which would have worried me, the steps are not taken during meetings. Thye real work is done away from meetings, sometimes on our own, sometimes with our sponsor, but rarely in a meeting.
Have a little faith BSF. If it worked for me, it can work for you too.
This AA deal isn't like a normal transaction - if I do this/pay this, I get this or that. It's not really a support group, though there are a lot of supportive people. It's not a bunch of life coaches who will tell you what to do.
What we have is a solution to the drink problem that worked with us. When you've met a few of us, you can decide if you want what we have. If you do, then we will show you what we did and if you do the same things, there is a better than even chance you will get the same result.
I listened and watched, liked what I saw so I did what they did. It worked as promised.
As for understanding in advance, I found that impossible. For one thing, most of the things in those 9th step promises were beyond my experience. I had to take the steps to get the experience. This is much more about how it feels, than what it does.
As I said, I liked what I saw and had enough faith to believe that it might work for me too, if I did what they did. But right through, my actions in taking the steps, were miles ahead of my understanding. Understanding is not a preresquisite for it to work.
One final point, which would have worried me, the steps are not taken during meetings. Thye real work is done away from meetings, sometimes on our own, sometimes with our sponsor, but rarely in a meeting.
Have a little faith BSF. If it worked for me, it can work for you too.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Originally Posted by Bostonsportsfan
Thank you, that answers some questions I've been having. Are their any "official" AA members or are you just a member by going to meetings?
People are there to offer help and support, based on their experiences.
The worst thing that can happen is that you'll learn something that will help you to achieve sobriety.
Some people leave with hurt feelings, never to return, because the meetings aren't run the way they want them to be run, because they're looking for a reason -- any reason -- not to come back, or because some nominally sober idiot goes out of his way to make a newcomer feel like $hit, though this is a rarity.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 852
Originally Posted by EndGameNYC
No, there are no "official" AA members, though it's possible you'll meet some who seem to think otherwise.
People are there to offer help and support, based on their experiences.
The worst thing that can happen is that you'll learn something that will help you to achieve sobriety.
Some people leave with hurt feelings, never to return, because the meetings aren't run the way they want them to be run, because they're looking for a reason -- any reason -- not to come back, or because some nominally sober idiot goes out of his way to make a newcomer feel like $hit, though this is a rarity.
People are there to offer help and support, based on their experiences.
The worst thing that can happen is that you'll learn something that will help you to achieve sobriety.
Some people leave with hurt feelings, never to return, because the meetings aren't run the way they want them to be run, because they're looking for a reason -- any reason -- not to come back, or because some nominally sober idiot goes out of his way to make a newcomer feel like $hit, though this is a rarity.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 852
Originally Posted by GracieLou
I would love to hear back about your experience if you go. Ask more questions if you need to or want to.
I am one that feels that the only stupid question, is the one that is not asked. Good luck
I am one that feels that the only stupid question, is the one that is not asked. Good luck
Thanks for the advice.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 37
AA saved my life and the program has showed me a new way to live.
Not only am I learning to not pick up a drink, one day at a time; I'm learning how to act like an adult. I'm learning that the only way to treat my spirit, is to offer my hand and help to others. I'm growing in ways I never expected when I first walked into the rooms in January of 2011.
My sponsor used to tell me, if I didn't pick up a drink and I worked the steps, I would have a new freedom. I would simply have a life better than in my drunken dreams. He mentioned certain promises as well. Some of them have come true already. Some of the progressed slowly and I didn't even realize the promises as they happened.
While my life isn't exactly they way I want it to be, I'm learning to accept life as EXACTLY as it is supposed to be.
I wish you well. As a result of getting into the center of AA, I just recently pulled off three years of sobriety on 1.2.2014. And this is from a guy who drank like a pig.
SC
Not only am I learning to not pick up a drink, one day at a time; I'm learning how to act like an adult. I'm learning that the only way to treat my spirit, is to offer my hand and help to others. I'm growing in ways I never expected when I first walked into the rooms in January of 2011.
My sponsor used to tell me, if I didn't pick up a drink and I worked the steps, I would have a new freedom. I would simply have a life better than in my drunken dreams. He mentioned certain promises as well. Some of them have come true already. Some of the progressed slowly and I didn't even realize the promises as they happened.
While my life isn't exactly they way I want it to be, I'm learning to accept life as EXACTLY as it is supposed to be.
I wish you well. As a result of getting into the center of AA, I just recently pulled off three years of sobriety on 1.2.2014. And this is from a guy who drank like a pig.
SC
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