3 years sober recently! Why am I depressed?
 

I have been sober for three years now as of 2 weeks ago. I for some reason each year get depressed when I complete another year. It seems strange shouldn't I be happy I have been able to stop drinking. I still have desires to drink as well and sometimes even think if I can go wo drinking for so long why not have one. I guess I just find life boring still Wo drinking. I have found some things that make life fun but I still haven't replaced the void of enjoyment from drinking. Life just seems boring redundant even when I have so much it really just doesn't make logical sense....

Congrats on the 3 years - that alone is worthy of congratulation :)

it makes perfect sense to me doublecheck.
If your sober life's not all you want it to be, can you isolate some reasons why?

D

Hey, Doublecheck...This sort of thing happens a lot-This Is a problem I'm having as well. I know We can only have so much "Fun" as far as things go-I understand though, that Helping Others has worked Wonders in this situation. Do you get a chance to do this much/or ever consider it?

Yes I am in sales. I am doing well. The issue is everything I say regardless if at work or talking to family and friends, I am always manipulating the conversation. I rarely have honest conversation without trying to control outcome. It's tires me out mentally and I hate the fact I can't just stop thinking and manipulating. Can't quit make to much money and am a father of one and having another child. So that makes me feel constrained. I used drinking as my reward and to get away from reality.

I'm sorry, doublecheck-I was merely relating to the Depression aspect of getting/staying sober...

Most people get depressed at some time or other, I now I do, even after years of being sober. My trick is to tell myself it will pass which it does and usually quite quickly when I am of that mindset. Are there any small changes you can make in your life. Sales is a manipulative business,but it doesn't make you a bad person and sometimes it is good to switch off from work mode. You sound a bit like your profession makes you feel a bit empty but if that's what you are good at, then that's what you are good at. Unless you can think of an alternative career, why don't you try to switch off by taking your mind off it with something else like a hobby? Cheer up xx

I think Xmas and New Year can be a depressing time of the year regardless of whether sober or not, its got a built in reflection on life aspect to it, which isn't always a happy thing.

But I always notice a change as the days get longer, spring time starts to come around, my mood starts to become more positive!! hang in there!! :)

Definitely identify with you. In your post, you say that "even when I have so much, it really just doesn't make logical sense." Really identify with that. I had lots of the things that conventionally signal 'success' but was still very unhappy; lonely, isolated, stuck in behaviours often referred to as old, excepting that they were not old, because I was still doing them, and feeling increasingly frustrated & uncomfortable. At its worst, this appeared much like depression, but without wishing to sound dramatic, it was because it was like being spiritually dead again, at the very least, shut-down and stuck. Everything was desert!

What comes to mind is the phrase inside job, and I've really needed to make an effort to reconnect with the program, and people in the fellowship I trust, and whose sobriety I respect. Am particularly focusing on step 6 at the moment, and really making sure I do focus rather than skipping ahead, which is a tendency! So, the question may be, do you have enough of what you actually need? It's not always easy to work that one out, but quiet time has helped me so far, and in addition to the above, I am going to start seeing a therapist next week, because of the recognition of 'old' or not so old(!) stuff coming to bite me on the behind! I am doing these things because I want to stay sober, much more than I want to drink.

This period in my recovery isn't over yet, but if I contrast how I was feeling six weeks ago, there is now reprieve, less bleakness, and phew(!) just a tiny bit less intensity ;-) Be kind to yourself, take that pause for quiet reflection, and talk to people you trust.

Wish you well

I had to learn that in order to keep my
sobriety, I had to learn how to give away
what was taught to me to others struggling
with addiction too.

I had to learn how to pass on my own
ESH - experiences, strengths and hopes
of what my life was and is like before, during
and after alcohol to others that would
follow in my recovery path.

And you know what....each time that I do
this, something remarkable comes over me.
I'm filled with hope that im not gonna
drink, I have a spring in my step and
whatever gloom is hanging over me is
gone. It's like a natural high. :)

3 yrs. sober is an awesome achievement
for an alcoholic in recovery. :c011:

I often remind myself that whatever is
going on right now, this too shall pass
and it will.

Even tho its cold and Winter is here, it
will leave in 2 months and Spring will be
coming. A New Year and A New Year for
New Experiences to enjoy and share. :)

Hi DoubleCheck,

I am in the exact same situation. Job and thought process is exactly the same. It is very crazy making and exhausting. I do feel empty even though I have so much. I have hobbies that I devote time to. As for spirituality I am not sure what that is or if I need it. I have read plenty on the topic but it doesn't seem to help me or I haven't figured it out.

Anyways. I know this was not very helpful. But you are not alone in what you are feeling. If you find something that works for you please share. I will do the same.

Depression is a part of life. Anxiety, depression, anger... it's all part of life. Not exclusive to just alcoholic's or addicts. Some people who have NEVER drank or used drugs in their life suffer from depression. Just deal with it, or see a doctor. I just deal with it. I*t's just an emotion of life. Good luck.