FreddyBear

I have found myself dwelling into strong nostalgic feelings regarding my drinking times. Especially watching movies with powerful characters, even including criminal ones. I would associate myself with them while getting hammered and this was the only time I feel somewhat significant. When I'm sober, I feel exactly what I am - just nobody, a ghost wandering the big world. Can anyone relate to these feeleings, and care to share any tips how to cope with that?

diffingo911

Hey, FreddyBear-I can only say that I can relate, in a Way. I've always been more than a bit Flat, emotionally-Ever since I was a Child. I never seemed to ever have enough Passion or real interest in life-Like You said-the "Wandering Ghost"-

But when I drink I FEEL-It's funny because I keep hearing about others who drink NOT to feel-I'm the opposite...

I have more of an Interest in others, music, connect with My sense of Humor and feel much more Passionate about life When I Drink-This is what really Scares Me about Sobriety-The "Wandering Ghost" Syndrome forever...

AL

diffingo911

Hey-I just found this on line...

"Alcohol causes the adrenal glands to release adrenaline--this is another reason why alcohol has stimulant properties."

Perhaps I've become an "Adrenaline Junkie" as Well...without knowing it and feeling Unstimulated/Unmotivated without it?

Dee74

Just read around here Freddy - particularly your own past posts.

This is the reality - the other stuff is fantasy. They rarely if ever show the depths of despair or the consequences.

If you want help with your own self esteem and self worth issues, I really suggest a counsellor can help.

Drinking will do nothing for your self esteem or self worth in the long run.

D

KateL

Nobody is a nobody. Everyone has huge potential, only some get a little lost along the way. My favourite quote is from Oscar Wilde 'We are all in the gutter but some of us are looking at the stars.' I hope you find happiness and your true self xxxxx

Johnston

Alcohol fueled a fantasy world I used to escape feelings of inadequacy, and, more importantly, to avoid accepting life for what it is. I still have issues with these things but find that sobriety gives me a chance to at least deal with them in a healthy way. I hope this helps you.

FBL

Anytime I start to feel nostalgic for my drinking days, I just remind myself of all the hangovers, anxiety, feelings of remorse, etc. That makes me feel even better about my decision to stay clean and sober.

karate

If I need a shot , I'll drink a monster .

The poison ain't the answer

foodie1

I can relate too, when I'm feeling vulnerable (blue, resentful, HALT, etc) I tend to forget the reality of drinking and remember only the good parts. Yes, I enjoyed some great wines in my time, but I wasn't the classy lady with one prettily-filled glass for very long at all. Very quickly, I was the bloated lump on the couch drinking boxed wine out of plastic cups (so I wouldn't break a glass...again), who had to "steady the ship" upon standing so as to avoid another fall, who was constantly hiding and worrying, feeling guilty and shameful.

The romantic pictures always come, try following them into the reality.

And you're not a nobody! You're one of god's creatures and you are special! We're all glad you're here

hypochondriac

None of the actors in those movies were drunk when making them. Culture sometimes like to portray these people as heroes somewhat but it isn't the case. Charles Bukowski's writing is a good example of a unglamourised drinking life. Other people can idolise him if they want but he never did that to himself. He also gives a good description of the 'frozen man' in notes from a dirty old man.

The only advice I have for stuff like this is to stop watching the movies! I recently had a few moments of nostalgia watching films where people were drinking whiskey and heard the ice cracking and hitting the side of the glass. I missed that noise. I bet normal drinkers didn't give it a second thought. But it is my responsibility to make sure I surround myself with the appropriate inspiring material. Watch films that portray bad drunks and recovery, not idolised cool drunk people.

And if you want to be significant, make yourself so. Okay, I get feelings of depression where we think we're worthless. I get it all the time. But if I can be significant in some small way, by volunteering my time to help other drunks, by taking care of my rescued dog. My life might not be much but I can make it have some meaning no matter how small. Look at what you can do rather than what you don't have... x