Guilt Setting in, but feeling better
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Illinois
Posts: 286
Guilt Setting in, but feeling better
I am seeing things differently. I have been living in a state of denial and have pissed away so much opportunity and done so many stupid things. I'm not craving alcohol over these feelings but I am feeling a tremendous amout of guilt and humility. At the same time my mood is up and down. Just needed to get that out. I do feel like I'm getting more accomplished during the day, and have handled some situations with less frustration than when I was drinking.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,371
a wise man once said to me there's nothing we can do about yesterday but everything we do about today.
shame guilt regret and things like that are common in the early days - but don't let those things rule your head.
Focus on today. There'll be time enough to look back later, when you're a little less up and down and more capable to deal with it
shame guilt regret and things like that are common in the early days - but don't let those things rule your head.
Focus on today. There'll be time enough to look back later, when you're a little less up and down and more capable to deal with it
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Edmonton, Alberta
Posts: 297
Humility has been a Very POSITIVE feeling for Me, Personally-It takes away the Concept of being the Centre of the Universe-
Guilt is NOT so Good. I have had to Resolve to Myself that Whatever I have done or NOT done is Merely just a Part of this Disease and do My Best to move on-My Guilt only holds Me back from a Solution...
Guilt is NOT so Good. I have had to Resolve to Myself that Whatever I have done or NOT done is Merely just a Part of this Disease and do My Best to move on-My Guilt only holds Me back from a Solution...
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
The pain of guilt can be very helpful in terms of growth and maturity. As children, many of us learn that we have a "bad feeling" when we hurt someone else, and so adjust our behavior accordingly in order to avoid that feeling. This carries over into adulthood, where guilt acts as an inhibition for bad behavior. Yet it's not a perfect process, with some people incapable of feeling what most of us call "guilt," and others trampling over it in the service of personal gratification. In both cases, there is a price to be paid.
When I'm drinking, the considerable guilt of my own making smothers me, so I attempt to extinguish it with more booze, and the cycle continues unabated.
With unhealthy guilt, we take regular doses which, in the end, only serves to prevent us from making the necessary adjustments in our lives. We let everyone within earshot know just how much we're suffering, even though we likely injured another person. It's a largely unconscious process that tells us that suffering the pain of guilt regularly relieves us of the responsibility for being accountable. For some people, this process becomes a way of life.
When I'm drinking, the considerable guilt of my own making smothers me, so I attempt to extinguish it with more booze, and the cycle continues unabated.
With unhealthy guilt, we take regular doses which, in the end, only serves to prevent us from making the necessary adjustments in our lives. We let everyone within earshot know just how much we're suffering, even though we likely injured another person. It's a largely unconscious process that tells us that suffering the pain of guilt regularly relieves us of the responsibility for being accountable. For some people, this process becomes a way of life.
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: chicago
Posts: 29
guilt is a demon. it will push you around until you can no longer stand. and god forbid you find a way to overcome your guilt! that just makes the demon more angry and forces the demon to use different tricks to get at you.
"you aren't feeling guilty about that anymore, so why not think about this thing you did ten years ago that not a SINGLE PERSON ON EARTH WILL EVER REMEMBER?"
or
"hey, you are stuck in a guilt cycle. maybe you should confess your sins to someone so that you appear less guilty. nobody can fault someone that is crying or appearing legitimately sorry, right?"
none of the above scenarios work, but they are so often played out when struggling with guilt. i dare you to embrace the guilt - it makes you human and more often than not, disqualifies your from being a sociopath - bonus points! things are looking up already! if your guilt involves another person and you simply cannot right that wrong, forgive yourself but make a vow to use this lesson in the future. let guilt shape you, not cripple you. try to tolerate it. all the sharp, dark emotions you experience with guilt, try and sit with them as long as possible. the more you tolerate and refuse to push away, the stronger you become.
you can turn guilt into a positive. just as you can turn anger (an emotion typically painted with very ugly attributes) into your very healthy best friend. just takes work is all. if you need any help, feel free to PM me.
"you aren't feeling guilty about that anymore, so why not think about this thing you did ten years ago that not a SINGLE PERSON ON EARTH WILL EVER REMEMBER?"
or
"hey, you are stuck in a guilt cycle. maybe you should confess your sins to someone so that you appear less guilty. nobody can fault someone that is crying or appearing legitimately sorry, right?"
none of the above scenarios work, but they are so often played out when struggling with guilt. i dare you to embrace the guilt - it makes you human and more often than not, disqualifies your from being a sociopath - bonus points! things are looking up already! if your guilt involves another person and you simply cannot right that wrong, forgive yourself but make a vow to use this lesson in the future. let guilt shape you, not cripple you. try to tolerate it. all the sharp, dark emotions you experience with guilt, try and sit with them as long as possible. the more you tolerate and refuse to push away, the stronger you become.
you can turn guilt into a positive. just as you can turn anger (an emotion typically painted with very ugly attributes) into your very healthy best friend. just takes work is all. if you need any help, feel free to PM me.
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