Grace

I need someone's advice or opinion on this matter. Last night my alcoholic bf returned home after going to the garage. This is the place where his father and some other men hang out, work on vehicles, and drink lots of beer. Anyhow, I was laying in bed, when he came into the bedroom. He proceeded to tell me that one of the men brought his daughter to the garage. My boyfriend went on to say that she was only 13, but very busty and very pretty. He said that she was flirting with him a lot. He appeared to be very flustered. I said, "She was flirting with you?" His response was, "Yes, but you can tell that she probably flirts with everyone. She is really busty and pretty. I know that it's wrong and I know that you can get in trouble." I sat up in bed and said to him. "Do you realize what you just said? A 13 year old girl is flirting with you, a 40 year old man, and you are even questioning that it is wrong." He immediately walked out of the room.

This man has VERY LITTLE sex drive. We haven't had sex for months. He says that his libido has diminished. He is a very heavy drinker and smoker. MAYBE, his libido has diminished for females his own age. Am I jumping to conclusions or do I have reason for concern?

JT

Grace,

It seems to me he was being honest with you. Sadly he may not be the next time.

Hugs,
JT

The Jay Walker

Grace

have you been to the Alanon forum here yet?

It is for friends and family of alcoholics.

Don S

Yes, in my opinion, you are jumping to conclusions. From your description, he was describing what happened--not questioning whether it was right or wrong. Flirtatious, mature-looking 13 year old girls are noteworthy and not that uncommon. Unfortunately, you seem to have turned the conversation into something to be ashamed of, and linked it to problems the two of you are having in your relationship. I'm guessing he'll think twice before discussing things like this with you again. That would concern me.
Don S

Peter

Yes.

MootPoint

It sounds like he was being honest with you.

Please check out the Al Anon forum! They will be able to help you more than we can.

Grace

Thank you all for your honesty. I guess that I was jumping to conclusions, but something happened many years ago between my bf and a young girl. When this happened last night, it made me nervous and it brought back memories.

I know that when people are drunk they do things they later regret.

Thanks for the input.