kaisgo

thats what happend to me just now,

i had a best friend,
3 years ago she came visit us when were drunk as ****,
we didnt behave nice AT ALL
lets say she ran away as fast as she could to the nearest taxi

next day i didnt even rememebred any thing, i was kinda kept on drinking in the morning and was all drunke and emotional begging her to firgive me couse shes my only friend (yeah pathetic i know)

after 5 minuts got mad and had a fight

now, today, 2 years later-
i donk know why but i send her a massag, trying to talk maby
maby just triyng to show that im not a drunk prostitud with a psycho husband pimping me (thats wat the told me that i am)
well, she told me that im a psycho pathetic and she dont want to have anything to do with me and shuld leave here alone


to my point,
dont you just hate it that you wanna show the world that your not the drunk you?
and somewhere you even feel and now your better then them
but no one gives you a chance?
that everyone knows you and will know you as the drunk ?

you feel like you lost your chance with the world
and even if you have a new life
you alwais fear the old people from old life will remined you the past

who gives them the right to do that?
how do you keep on living when you feel "you" are already "known" as a stupid drunk and people dont like you and dont wanna know you have changed? they like it more thinking of you the old way and in that way dont let you break free from thoes memory chaines?

KateL

Not everyone is like that. You must have some nicer friends. I would just let them go to be honest, they don't sound all that nice really.

caboblanco

I had friends that would badmouth me wherever they could and even try to get me arrested. I would consider yourself lucky.

ScottFromWI

You can only control how you go about your life now and moving forward. You also cannot change things you have done. It takes time to repair the damage we inflicted, and unfortunately some of it might never be repaired. But much of it can if you can prove that you are moving forward sober and responsibly.

Regarding rumors and gossip, they are just that- beyond your control, utterly itrelevant and best simpy ignored.

freshstart57

Kaisgo, just focus on you, and what you do now. Only now. People's perceptions will change, but you need to change first. It will take time for people to see you differently, but you can change now. That is the only thing within your control, how you act today.

Believe that you can make choices, and that you deserve to make choices that are good for you. You deserve to have a life without this turmoil and drama. You deserve to have a life with peace and joy in it, and if you choose, you can have it.

kaisgo

well i live in a other town and left all my friends couse went to univerciry so now i have mom husband and dog, and thats enough!
if i were in her place i wouldnt react that way, i dont hate anyone and dont hold grudg
but i will respect her dessicion,

im happy that i followed my will and heart, its better try and fail then dont try and daydream about "what would happent if..." even if i got burned

her lose, im awsom

i god offended just by the no friens part becouse well, truth hurts
but i know by all the other things shese ar from the truth

i happy that i didnt react by fighting and just said that "hey whatever m not pathetic im just nice and trying dont hurt, bye" and soon finish day 3 sucssesfully especially becouse i held myself rom drinking, and hell yeah i wanted to (chat room rocks!!)

i belive that in the future I WILL have my chanse to do "in your face!" to all of thouse people.... and until then i will try my hardest to be the best that i can!!

thank you all for listening and replying!!!

SR

kaisgo

before death people always regret the things they DIDNT do !

so lets forget what we DID and start DOING !!!

quitter13

I agree that it's best to work on yourself. once you take care of you maybe she'll come around and maybe she won't. your life will be better and you will also make new friends free from drama

Music

As long as I'm not the one spreading rumors, gossiping, or hating, I do my best to ignore it. It's wasted energy and I can't afford the fallout.

TDInstall

Taking a step back from this and offering perspective, if I may;

When one is in the middle of being an active alcoholic, ones behaviour is erratic and mad. It causes a lot of problems, and you will get people talking about what you have been doing, etc.

When you stop, for a long time you will suffer from anxiety both from the memories of the things you have done, and also the associated paranoia connected with withdrawal and recovery.

The further away from alcohol, in both time and distance you get yourself, the easier this all becomes and the paranoia will start to subside.

This is definitely what I went through, so speaking from experience here.

robgt350

kaiso

hay if she was your good friend she will come around to you. but more friends will come into your life again.
come back to the char room again.

Brian316

My sponsor told me the best thing I've heard in a long time tonight. That is, you can't wrestle a pig and not get dirty. Remember that when dealing with haters.

GracieLou

What other people think about me is none of my business. I would drive myself crazy if I continued to worry about what others are thinking or doing. It is best for me to stick to myself and my recovery.

There is another way to look at it was well. If she is hating on you that means she is leaving someone else alone. I can smile knowing that someone else, at least for the time being, is safe from the gossip and rumors.

Jsober

rumors hate and gossip, how do you handle it?
Be successful in sobriety.