Christmas is hard
 

It's not even Christmas yet and I already feel like drinking. Last night we had a family dinner for my dad, mom, sister, brother-in-law and his mother. I knew how things were going to go when my mom and I were watching my sister walk up the drive, and she hissed at me: "Jesus Christ, she's dressed like your Grandmother". Now, she actually was, but my mom has zero tact. During dessert she said to my sister: "Your New Year's resolution should be to lose weight. The next time I see you, I want you to be slim and smart like your sister". At this stage I had to jump in and say "leave me out of this, thank you". Some people will try to drag you into anything.

My dad wanted to visit his sister today, who lives in a nursing home. It's kind of sad because she is a lot younger than my dad, and he is fine (fingers crossed). Anyway my mom rang me while I was out for a walk and she was crying and saying "this will be your sister the lunatic in years to come". I said "please stop calling her that because it's not right". And she said "It is right, if she was normal she would never have married a Romanian".

Anyway, I walked by a shop. And I went in and bought a bottle of vodka. And I walked to the beach and I sat on a rock and I was looking at it for a while. It was bitterly cold. And I sat there for a while. It started raining. And then all of a sudden I stood up...and flung that bottle over the rocks and down into the ocean. I felt peaceful. It was freaky, because at this point all of a sudden it stopped raining and the sun began to shine. Was Mother Nature, or God, or my grandparents or whoever is up in the big blue sky sending me a message that I did the right thing? I like to think so. I watched it bob about in the water before I turned and walked away. (Actually I hope no one saw me because I don't want to get a fine for littering or whatever.)

I went home and got straight into a hot shower. I wish I hadn't wasted my money. I am sitting with a cup of camomile tea and planning to go to a meeting in the morning.

I just wanted to tell people about my "magic moment".

Love and hugs,
Tetra x

Yeah get yourself to a meeting n keep connected tetra. Families r ******* hard work haha.
Your doing great glad to hear "something" stopped you from gettin wasted.

Hurray! So glad you beat the impulse and stopped it dead. The farther you go, the better it will get. Just keep blowing off all the negative comments you hear, don't let them trigger you.

Christmas can be really traumatic especially if your family of origin is nuts.

If you can't do something else over Christmas, at least remember you have support here (and AA) you're not alone Tetra :)

and...well done on throwing the bottle away...the money against your continued sobriety? no contest :)

D

Your mother sounds like poison... is it an irish thing!? (j/k, my family are irish)

But anyway, awesome you tossed that bottle and it made you feel so empowered!
I find it useful to do some thinking about what my mom might say before I go see her, how I should take what she says and reject it rather than letting it get to me otherwise I go get the vodka too.

That was a wonderful story, really inspiring, Urghhh - mothers!! I don't even wanna go there :) xxx

That was money well spent. It could be a turning point in your continued sobriety.

I had bad acne and my mother was really good at asking me if I had washed my face today in front of lots of people. Another dig was " your putting on the beef" in reference to my increasing weight. This Xmas I am going camping alone with my husband. Can't wait.

Congratulations!
 

A BIG WIN in the battle with the beast!!

Would it be possible to sit down with your Mother and explain how you feel? If you could just get her to listen to what you have to say before she responds, maybe you could get through to her.....

All I know is this.... now that everyone is gone I sure miss them. NOTHING is more important than family and your time with them is limited, hopefully your Mom will be able to listen to your plea for a peaceful Christmas.

I hope you can manage to have a happy holiday season.

Money wasted . . . but another Sober day gained!! :)

A great story Tetra!!

Your mother sounds like a really poisonous individual. I'd be trying to get as far away from her as possible if i was you. Well done on throwing away the voddy, if i had got to the stage of actually buying the booze it would have been drunk, no danger.

Take care and i hope you have a great Christmas and New Year Tetra (and everyone else) :)