it's getting more difficult
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: florida
Posts: 207
it's getting more difficult
almost a 6 months and this is getting to be very hard. In AA - Working with sponsor, on step four, chair a meeting. emotions all over, the aloneness, no release.. etc. I have a job still, make decent money. Just found out, The ex might be either trying for more child support or trying to stop my visitation with my daughter. Not sure yet. so, that has made me freak emotionally.. on top of all the other feelings. Thought about drinking a few times today, but play the tape in my head and cannot go through that crap again. work is so much stress, deadlines, no praise, jerks there. I am ranting yet again.. sorry
Kaleidoscope eyes
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: London
Posts: 5,243
If you wanna rant, do it. It does help, I find, or to write things down. Stay strong. One days the kids grow up and you will have your time with your daughter without the stress of a broken relationship.
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
Stay strong. If you start drinking again the ex will be much more likely to try and succeed in stopping visitations.
If you want to be the best parent you can be, sober is a great place to start.
Supporting your child, in all areas is the best investment you will ever make.
If you want to be the best parent you can be, sober is a great place to start.
Supporting your child, in all areas is the best investment you will ever make.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Medina, Ohio
Posts: 372
Went through a divorce in my first year of sobriety as well. Reading my old posts makes me say "ugh" as well.... Anyways... there's nothing so bad that drinking won't make it worse. I found that my sobriety drove my ex and her lawyer crazy. What I can tell you without a doubt is that this too shall pass. Keep living right and things WILL get better.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Originally Posted by Petewill 
almost a 6 months and this is getting to be very hard. In AA - Working with sponsor, on step four, chair a meeting. emotions all over, the aloneness, no release.. etc. I have a job still, make decent money. Just found out xxxxxxxxxx that has made me freak emotionally.. on top of all the other feelings.
Thought about drinking a few times today, but play the tape in my head and cannot go through that crap again.
Work is so much stress, deadlines, no praise, jerks there.
Thought about drinking a few times today, but play the tape in my head and cannot go through that crap again.
Work is so much stress, deadlines, no praise, jerks there.
In recovery I was told and eventually came to see/accept that, as a real alcoholic, my problem was not the drinking. Booze wasn't the problem. It was A problem...but it wasn't the source....the well. The problem was my alcoholism and alcoholism affects you whether you're drinking or not. As an example, it's like an internal disease that's messing you me whether you see any boils, sores or anything else on my skin. ...wow, a "real alkie" and a "disease" reference in the same paragraph...that should bring in some clowns.
Anyway, it became apparent that meetings and not drinking weren't enough of a solution for ME. It started to make sense that I may need this "complete psychic change" that I'd heard about....where one has a completely new way to look at ppl, at life and one's self.
I can't say but it sure sounds like you're in the same boat I was/am in. Keep digging. There IS a solution.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 383
Let me chime in as someone who went through the same thing - congrats on the six months! For all the stressors try and divide them into things you can control and things you can't. If you're not going to court today, don't entertain the scary thoughts, because it may not come to pass. Ask for help accepting the current terms with your ex and daughter. I know how scary it is but remember that the number one thing you can do for your daughter is to be sober! My sponsor reminded me that our job as dads is to be there when needed - for love, support, protection - everything else is just parenting debate to which there is no end! Love your daughter and keep doing what your doing. We always want the hard times to be over quickly cause that's the way it works on TV 
- One day you'll meet a fella struggling with his divorce in sobriety and you'll be able to help him because you will have been there - that's the way this works - you're doing great, believe it or not.
- One day you'll meet a fella struggling with his divorce in sobriety and you'll be able to help him because you will have been there - that's the way this works - you're doing great, believe it or not.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 21
Six months is something to be proud of. Remember--it may never get easy to not pick up. I have relapsed quite a few times over the past 10 years. It never feels good to pick up again. You'll never be able to control it, and it doesn't make the stress or problems disappear. I relapsed because I never learned how to deal with the stresses of life. But I recently read something in a Wayne Dyer book that's really simple, but also really profound. He said life isn't supposed to be joyful all the time. There will be a lot of woeful times, and you know what? That's okay.
Man was made for joy and woe;
And when this we rightly know,
Through the world we safely go.
Joy and woe are woven fine,
A clothing for the soul divine.
Under every grief and pine
Runs a joy with silken twine.
Man was made for joy and woe;
And when this we rightly know,
Through the world we safely go.
Joy and woe are woven fine,
A clothing for the soul divine.
Under every grief and pine
Runs a joy with silken twine.
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