Pondlady

I think when we want something….alcohol, food, an expensive purchase…….we find a way to convince ourselves it's ok….even when it's not. For me, it takes practice , doing the right thing….until it becomes habit.

fini

to me, telling myself i can drink tomorrow would be bizarre. it would keep me in drinking-obsessed mode while not drinking. it would be pouring fuel daily.but i'm glad it gives you peace today.would do the opposite for me

Brian316

Thank you for this post Big Sombrero. When I was between relapses the whole am I an alcoholic or just a problem drinker debate kept my wheels turning a lot. I think I probably told myself I "used to be" an alcoholic somewhere in there too. My thinking was such that I would change situations and keep booze but think maybe I could get a different outcome. That merry go round kept me going until I almost killed myself. Now I see the types of thoughts and negative emotions people have described here for what it is and that's alcoholic thinking. I agree with something a guy said in a meeting tonight. I have a disease that tells me I'm ok and there's nothing wrong with me. Well as the big book says careful not to rest on your laurels for alcohol is a subtle foe.

soberbythesea

No. I am an alcoholic no matter what. When I'm 20 years sober (God willing) I will still be an alcoholic. Not a drinker anymore, but an alcoholic nonetheless.

beatle

I think about how I drank normally everyday for 20 years, a few glasses of wine is all...oh but more Friday - Sunday. Then I was out of work for a while, then my normal drinking shifted from after work, to early afternoon, to late morning, to predictably first thing in the morning. For some reason, I didn't go back to work for a while. Eventually, I realized I had a real problem, so I quit and haven't had a drink in almost two years. I'm back to work now and lately wonder if I could go back to normal drinking. I remind myself of the old saying "once that door has been open in your brain, it will never close". I opened that door and if I step back in it, chances are I may never come back out.

TopFlight

I think I knew my drinking habits were getting bad when I was offered a big opportunity to intern in another country during college. It was an important position, and should of been treated as such. Initially it was, but it didn't take long before partying started interfering, and the last minute "call in sick days" started happening way more than they should have. My whole network of friends I made there were all on the same page as well- to go out and get drunk often. Looking back I was given a great opportunity, something I could of done so much with if I was smart about it, but I wasn't, and barley squeaked by without totally falling flat on my face. Even now I don't feel comfortable using former supervisor as a reference. I'm almost ashamed of how I handled my time there.

I think my drinking can be summed up by how I can be normal for a period of time before I default back to a no holds bar type of nights. It wasn't until drugs started getting getting involved in my drunken binges that I realized I needed to slam the brakes. It's amazing how good cocaine sounds after a few drinks.

I may not have been fully convinced I was alcoholic and even times now my inner voice plays tricks on me, but there's one thing for certain, alcohol has caused a lot of problems in my life and people around me. I've been very lucky from how stupid I was that I hadn't done more damage than I did and that's what motivates me to be the best I can be now- I got another chance.

Threshold

I only drank and drugged for 2 years. So at first I wasn't sure I was REALLY an alcoholic. Maybe I could still drink...I did the relapse go round for another 2 years and found out that nope, couldn't drink...zero to 80 in about 45 minutes.

Binge drinker? I would just start downing shots or drink straight from the bottle until I was blotto...45 minutes was plenty.

So, yes, I thought that in my early days, did more research and feel like I am now thoroughly convinced that I can't go back there.

The only times I am seriously tempted to drink are when I feel like I'd like to be blotto. Gosh I'd like to be in a coma right now....hey! I know how to do that!