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Relapsed, but back.

Old 12-15-2013, 12:02 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Great to see you back here Fernaceman!

As Dee sometimes says, we don't shoot our wounded here at SR. [Jeez, if that were so, I'd be dead!]

Look forward to your reflections on the relapse. Hey, it just might help some of us, y'know?
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Old 12-15-2013, 12:11 AM
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Fernaceman!

Believe it or not I was just thinking of you the other day and wondered how you were. (I think I saw a Bill Murray movie. Lol)

You always provided such help to others. I'm really glad you are back, and centered.

Many of us have the same thoughts of relapsing. Some act on them.

....And when they come back, we help them stay sober.
And their story, helps us learn from someone else's actions.
So we can stay sober too.

I'm happy to see you AND that avatar's funny face back again!
: )
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Old 12-15-2013, 01:50 AM
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Originally Posted by Fernaceman View Post
Hey all-

Just wanted to give you all a quick shout-out. I did relapse. New sobriety date is 11/01/13. I did immediately tell my sponsor and my groups in AA. Been sober since, but haven't stopped back here to say what was up. Ego and pride definitely played a big part. One of my largest character defects is people pleasing, and wanting them to think I'm doing better than I actually am.

It happened. I'm not proud of it and wish I could take it back, but as we all know, that's not a possibility. As much as I don't want to be an alcoholic or drug addict sometimes, I can't change it. Life does go on, just a big let down for myself.

Staying on the beam, and really am trying my best, but yet again 3rd step struggles seem to be cropping into my life more frequently.

I love you all, and hope to see you more frequently again around here. This place definitely helped keep me centered daily.
It takes courage to come back and admit the relapse. I'm glad you are back with us. See you on 12 step forum soon.

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Old 12-15-2013, 10:28 AM
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Originally Posted by bemyself View Post
Great to see you back here Fernaceman!

As Dee sometimes says, we don't shoot our wounded here at SR. [Jeez, if that were so, I'd be dead!]

Look forward to your reflections on the relapse. Hey, it just might help some of us, y'know?
Leading up to the relapse, I had been slipping, naturally. I was still "around" the fellowship and program, but no longer felt "a part of."

One defining moment that was a big alarm to others was, 2 weeks before relapse, when I balked an opportunity at service work and was annoyed about taking the position. That should have been a big red flag to me.
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Old 12-15-2013, 10:33 AM
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Welcome back. And I think the best service any AA member can do is admit to a relapse and in so doing share on how and why it happened. So, thanks.
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Old 12-15-2013, 10:36 AM
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I had also been explaining it to an old-timer about the huge RELEASE I felt after I did it, like it finally happened so it wasn't something I had to keep worrying about happening...

He related to it, saying, "So...it was like there was this obsession you were experiencing...then when you drank, the obsession was lifted...and then you couldn't stop once you started, huh?"
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Old 12-15-2013, 10:38 AM
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So glad you and Bill Murray made it back!!
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Old 12-15-2013, 10:41 AM
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Great to see you back Fernaceman!!
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Old 12-15-2013, 04:14 PM
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Welcome back, I always enjoyed your posts. I'm glad you are feeling better and seeking support.
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Old 12-15-2013, 05:06 PM
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Thanks everyone!
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Old 12-15-2013, 05:29 PM
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Fernaceman, New sobriety date is 11/01/13? You are FANTASTIC, congratulations. Rootin for ya.
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Old 12-15-2013, 07:39 PM
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Glad U made it back!!
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Old 12-16-2013, 04:04 AM
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Welcome back FM
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Old 12-17-2013, 10:31 AM
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Originally Posted by TheEnd View Post
Glad U made it back!!
I could dissect so much. This got me thinking about gratitude and how really lucky I am to have made it back.

I take recovery for granted a lot of the time. And I'm always assuming that recovery and AA will be there for me "when I'm ready for it..." Assuming that there's always time to fix things...

That's all good until time's up and there are no more chances...Dunno where I was goin with that.
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Old 12-17-2013, 10:41 AM
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fern!!!!! So missed ya dude! Welcome home (hug)
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Old 12-17-2013, 11:08 AM
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Welcome back. I was a chronic relapser. I say be less concerned about what others think and focus on YOU. Hopefully you didn't stay out too long and ruin things you had mended through your sobriety. What matters is that you are alive and sober today.
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Old 12-18-2013, 12:29 AM
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Glad you are back!
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Old 12-18-2013, 06:21 AM
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im greatful ya made it back,too, my friend. one thing that has been goin through my mind while reading yer replies in this thread:
It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God's will into all of our activities. "How can I best serve Thee - Thy will (not mine) be done." These are thoughts which must go with us constantly. We can exercise our will power along this line all we wish. It is the proper use of the will.

I didn't read anything about yer HP in yer replies. any chance ya stopped praying?
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Old 12-18-2013, 10:45 AM
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Hey man good to see a post from you. My new sobriety date is 7/31/13 and I relapsed way before you did. Went back out and did some more research Feb-July and barely made it back alive. Anyways, are you still on AIM? We should chat it up sometime. I'm now back in AA and on the 12th step. In hindsight I needed my last relapse to see where "just a couple beers" leads me to.
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Old 12-18-2013, 02:15 PM
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In hindsight I needed my last relapse to see where "just a couple beers" leads me to.
I always knew, but I did it anyway - I think my most bogus rationalisation ever was 'drink this to remind you how bad drinking is...'



Good to see you back on the right road too YAC

D
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