30 Years Just Disappeared
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Edmonton, Alberta
Posts: 297
30 Years Just Disappeared
18 beers yesterday-2 for breakfast today-Been going steady for about a month, with about 6 weeks dry after My last bout with Withdrawal. It was BAD, yet I seem to have been able to minimize that experience quite easily and have been right back up to where I was shortly before the DT's and Stuff.
In My drunkenness last night I was watching Music Videos on Youtube from back in the Day and came to the realization that they were all about 26 years old. I cannot believe I've been wasting away My development for that long!
I have not really grown as an individual at all. I have no circle of Friends, Interest/Hobbies, achievements, passion, goals or joy in My Life at all. The
alcohol was ALL of that for Me. It has taken so much from Me. It has taken 2 Beautiful Spouses and their Families away as well. I feel so empty and unfulfilled as well as totally ripped-off. I wish it was all just a Bad Dream and I'll wake up and be 20 again. No such Luck, unfortunately.
AL
In My drunkenness last night I was watching Music Videos on Youtube from back in the Day and came to the realization that they were all about 26 years old. I cannot believe I've been wasting away My development for that long!
I have not really grown as an individual at all. I have no circle of Friends, Interest/Hobbies, achievements, passion, goals or joy in My Life at all. The
alcohol was ALL of that for Me. It has taken so much from Me. It has taken 2 Beautiful Spouses and their Families away as well. I feel so empty and unfulfilled as well as totally ripped-off. I wish it was all just a Bad Dream and I'll wake up and be 20 again. No such Luck, unfortunately.
AL
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: South Bay, So Cal
Posts: 6,115
Hi,
25 years ago I was watching those MTV Videos too, I was 30 and a newlywed. My new husband & I started our "partying" BIG TIME! We celebrated our 25th anniversary in April of this year, but more importantly I celebrated 1 year of sobriety on November 12th!!! On Sunday my husband was 8 years sober. Those years are gone true. However, I'm still here...and gratefully so. One Day At A Time, a slogan? Yes. But that's how I'm living, not passing through my life each day. Help is here on SR, and in AA....my main program of my Recovery.
Bobbi
25 years ago I was watching those MTV Videos too, I was 30 and a newlywed. My new husband & I started our "partying" BIG TIME! We celebrated our 25th anniversary in April of this year, but more importantly I celebrated 1 year of sobriety on November 12th!!! On Sunday my husband was 8 years sober. Those years are gone true. However, I'm still here...and gratefully so. One Day At A Time, a slogan? Yes. But that's how I'm living, not passing through my life each day. Help is here on SR, and in AA....my main program of my Recovery.
Bobbi
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by diffingo911 
I have no circle of Friends, Interest/Hobbies, achievements, passion, goals or joy in My Life at all
The alcohol was ALL of that for Me
AL
I deceived myself into thinking that King Alcohol was all of those things to me
booze can bring us to a place in time
where the devils way seems best to us
you can so it -- break free my brother
MB
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
Hello Al. I'm so glad you joined us. SR helped take the sting out of my pain - just knowing I wasn't alone made all the difference.
I felt just like you once. I drank for 30 yrs. The regret and remorse was unbearable. I wasn't ready to let go of my precious life, though. I had hopes for a new beginning - and I couldn't reach out for it if I kept one foot in the past. Please keep reading and posting here. When I quit I was drinking 24/7 & couldn't imagine a way out. By participating here I gained the courage and strength to come out of my fog. It feels amazing to be free. You can do this.
I felt just like you once. I drank for 30 yrs. The regret and remorse was unbearable. I wasn't ready to let go of my precious life, though. I had hopes for a new beginning - and I couldn't reach out for it if I kept one foot in the past. Please keep reading and posting here. When I quit I was drinking 24/7 & couldn't imagine a way out. By participating here I gained the courage and strength to come out of my fog. It feels amazing to be free. You can do this.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
Originally Posted by diffingo911
came to the realization that they were all about 26 years old.
I now have over 8 months sober. I did not get my old life back, I got a new one.
I can sit and let my mind wander around in the days gone by OR I can think about today and all the wonderful people and the blessings I have been given because I finally laid down the bottle.
It is not easy. It takes willingness and courage with a little faith and trust thrown in but it is possible to love today more than you want back yesterday.
It all starts with day one.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 65
It says you live in Canada correct? Not familiar, being here in the States but I know your health coverage is far superior to ours. Any chance for inpatient treatment? Getting the REAL help you need? There is no more excuses as to why you "cant" any longer. Work, money, none of it means anything if you're not around. Wishing you the best!
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