pooky

Well here I am again.This is my third serious attempt to get sober.I had 6 weeks and drank all weekend.Fell down the steps last night and fractured 4 places around my eye and nose. Why do I keep doing this? Its getting ridiculous. My husband is also a big drinker and this makes it very hard for me but I can only fix me. I guess its time for some kind of formal rehab/treatment.
I am so sick of me. Thanks for reading. I've been on this site a few years but never post much..Maybe I'll try to post more for support

Dee74

I'm sorry for what happened but I'm glad you're back Pooky

why not join the Class of December 2013 thread in Newcomers forum for more support from others trying to quit this month?

D

Pipping

Pooky, it will get better the longer you stay sober. Be selfish and make your sobriety all about you. You don't need to feel bad- just find as much support as you can, go to meetings if that's your thing, enquire about rehab. Make your sobriety your number 1 goal. You are worth it.

KateL

Yes do post and try to get some help. There are plenty of different kinds of support out there. Sorry you have hurt yourself. Try not to beat yourself up, it sounds like you have had a massive reaslisation and want to stop, which is good.

Nevertheless

I know the "why do I keep doing this" feeling very well. And yes,it is very true that you can only fix yourself. There is nothing wrong with that.
I hope you do post more,and keep trying to quit. We all know it isn't easy,but if you stick with it you will succeed.

Fred

pooky

Thanks for the replies.It means a lot. I don't understand why I am so weak and impulsive. I'm doing fine,I think and then for no reason decide to go out and drink. No thoughts of moderating when I go out.

IOAA2

Hi. In my active days I did that because I was/am an alcoholic which means I cannot drink in safety and or guarantee what the results will be if I do. Even many years later I feel the same. We drink for a multitude of made up reasons but I found the main one is to escape our feelings. Stopping drinking is the starter, staying stopped is where the work is for long term sobriety.

BE WELL

kaisgo

i dont know you im here from yestarday but me and my husband are the same, getting arested in turns and stuff, first start with you, i think it will make drinking more boring for him if you dont drink with him and make him drink less, atleast thats my plan

anyistoomuch

Pooky - I wouldn't call yourself weak. If you are like the rest of us, you are an alcoholic. When you drink alcohol, it creates a barrier between you and your will. That is not you, that is the alcohol's affect on your body, mind. It will never NOT do that to you. If you want to access your strength and to be less impulsive and more control of your emotions and actions, you need to remove the alcohol. Stop drinking.

There is so much support here and information on how to stop drinking, what kind of changes to expect while you go through the process, and different recovery methods. I hope you stay and keep posting!

LadyinBC

You are not weak you have a disease. It constantly feeds off our negativity and will egg us on to keep drinking. Hence us being impulsive and deciding we are fine to do it again.

The rollercoaster ride ends when we say it ends and we tell our disease that we are getting off. You have 6 WEEKS of sobriety that you can't take away from yourself. You have done it and you will do it again. You already know you can do this.

Keep posting here there are so many people here willing to support you!

Johno1967

Hi Pooky,
Have you tried going to an AA meeting? You say you are fine, but I doubt it, you don't sound fine.
Take Care
Johno

coraltint

For me, if something major didn't change, I was going to keep trying to quit & failing until I ended up in jail or dead. I couldn't stop on my own, proved it over and over.

I had to admit that the booze & drugs had me beat, they would always win that fight & I'd end up bleeding & broke. Admitting that was the beginning of the major change.

Anna

Pooky, I'm glad you're here and not giving up.

Is there something different you can do this time?

Music

Hi pooky. I got sober in Norfolk a long time ago. There are great meetings there and God love the people who supported me when I came to AA. I went to meetings every night of the week and basically hung out at the Alano club on weekends. There's help there if you want it.

Alcoholism has nothing to do with being weak or having no will power except after I take that first drink. I found that out at my first meeting. It's only after that first drink that my will power fails me. I had to stop fighting the disease and give up. I had to ask for help outside myself because left with my own devices, I couldn't figure out why I couldn't stop. I tried everything, but until I first asked people for help and found out where they got their help, I had no success. They told me they believed in a power greater than themselves and they just asked for help. So, I tried it, and I haven't had a drink since. They also told me I had to get sober for myself, no one else. It was about me, not my wife or my kids, the job or what someone else might think. For me! There's no reason to feel ashamed or weak. The drug alcohol, takes some people down a path most people don't have to go down. It's not your fault!! The sooner you accept that fact, the sooner the willingness to do what's necessary will set in. Hang in there.

Climber122

Hi Pooky - I second the suggestion to give AA a try. You'll meet enough people to understand that you are not "bad" or weak - it takes a lot of guts to attend that first meeting, but that would be something new to try - remember, "if you do what you always did, you'll get what you always got." Good luck and God bless

Nevertheless

A guy in the AA I went to used the phrase often "our remberers are broken,but our forgetters work very well"
It is sooo true. I used to feel like crap and want to crawl in a hole and hide. Until 3 days to a week went by,and all of a sudden I just couldn't give any thought to the way I felt a few days earlier. I felt GOOD,and a beer will make me feel BETTER...|BULLSH*T| That's just the way booze works. Sooner or later the desire to drink becomes greater than the desire to not drink,and it starts all over.
Fred

pooky

I actually went to AA last year for a few months,got a sponsor and started to work the steps but I felt she was a little heavy handed in that she told me I should probably go to 530 pm mtgs.since I am a "Happy Hour" drinker.Thats all fine and good but that is also in the middle of rush hour,dinner time etc.Maybe I wasn't being agreeable enough but I can go to mtgs.most days of the week in the middle of the day.Anyway I lasted a few months and started drinking again. Your thoughts?

neferkamichael

Pooky, you are FANTASTIC, rootin for ya.

anyistoomuch

how about you commit for another few months, find a meeting you like and surround yourself with supportive people. if you are ready to get sober, it will be easier than doing it alone.

Hevyn

Hi pooky. It's so good you wanted to talk this over - & that you're still trying.

I did the same thing. Always thought somehow there'd be a different outcome - that magically I'd be able to keep myself from overdoing it. Once I learned there was no control when the first drink hit my system - I knew I couldn't touch it again. After many years of struggling, it feels great to be free. You can do it.