1undone

On the verge of tears have been

I've been dragged to a place in FL all in the name of family tradition that is like Christmas Mardi Gras. Last night the smell of wine was everywhere - people walking in the streets with it, bars, pubs, etc. Line the streets and my husband and is walking along with me like it's no big deal. So far drinking hasn't been until I was dragged to this ******* place.

Part of me wants to pack up and file for divorce, especially last night when we went to this ****** outdoor place and he wanted to force me to pice a topic to talk to him about.

I've been in the room most of the dat accept for the cheesie morning parade I was expected to attend.

I'm so almost done with this man. On the 30th day I stoped drinking he spent that whole night at some stupid event called a Pub Crawl or something. He didn't even acknowledge the date or how much I knew what that dumb event was about. I resent this not drinking BS! I resent beng forced to be in places like this and I hate feeling like some old lady who has nothing to do and is miserable.

I'm sorry I'm just so angry with how selfish he is. I want to go home so badly.

I hate my life right now.

Sudz No More

Sorry 1undone, hang in there. You're sobriety is worth it, you're worth it. Don't let a difficult situation break you, let it firm your resolve and strengthen you with the knowledge that you can overcome this. Find something that can occupy you while he is imbibing.

CactusJill

My husband drinks too, 1undone. He goes to bars and parties and all of those sorts of events you describe. You know what? I don't bother. If he wants to go to a bar or a party he can go by himself. End of story. I refuse to be dragged along for the ride. Even more, while I love that man dearly, he is the fool for drinking at age 35 when he has kids at home and a wife. It is foolish, wasteful of money, and more than a little pathetic.

Stay strong. You aren't the loser, he is (at least in this case).

ronf

Easy, easy. Take a deep breath. I don't have an easy answer for you. The most obvious is find a hot line of some kind to call. I decided to answer your thread because I was able to stay sober for 15 years living with an active drinker. Every relationship is different. I'm NOT standing up for him, BUT, it's always tough for our spouse to understand what we're doing and why.
Family gatherings? Family is the original F-word LOL. You NEED support!!! Stay on here and keep posting. You'll be amazed.

Ron

1undone

I just think the fact that I was pressured to come here by the very person who left me due to my drinking with no warning. Yeah I knew why but Right now, only two months later. No one can help me feel okay right now. I'm venting and trying not to blow up at him, jump in my car and go home - at which point I'd ruin/be blamed for the woes of this family's boring ass alcohol ridden hell experience.

Tamerua

Congrats on your sober time! Is there something that you can do without him? Hit a bookstore? Or a coffee shop? Hit a meeting (if that's your thing)? I know it has to be tough. Hang in there! From another Floridian, I know it can be hard since it always seems like party time here.

KateL

I would ride it out and try to be calm. Later, tell him calmly how this has upset you. If he doesn't even try to understand, then you might have to do something about your relationship dynamic. I had much resentment towards a hypocritical, controlling man and he is now long gone thank God. You don't have to resort to this, of course, so don't do anything impulsive but do put your foot down in a calm but assertive manner. You deserve to be at ease in your life.

LadyBlue0527

1undone, I can't find the right words to say except for the fact that I'm sorry that you're having to go through this.

I don't know how I would deal with what you're going through right now. I think it sounds really unfair.

I offer you this Just know that we are all here for you.

1undone

Okay, I left dinner right at the end. He yelled across the table in my ear to everyone the whole time, he was betting my son and his friend money to eat seafood and being way too touchy - freely with me. I have a head ache and I'm crying back in the room by myself when I calmly said, come on leave them alone after one bet with the kids gagging down seafood. He said loudly, DONT REDIRECT ME IN FRONT OF THE KIDS. KISSED HIM ON THE CHEEK AND LEFT.

jaynie04

Ugh, sorry 1, that sounds like a pretty crappy situation to be in….kudos to you for handling it so well. It sounds like you feel a little trapped, I think I would too. This will pass, but when you are back on your own turf I would suggest putting down some pretty clear boundaries. What you are doing is hard, under the best of circumstances, and you deserve to be supported for something so important. Sending cyber support.

1undone

I'm sure all he sees me as right now is a selfish drag. But guess what, I DONT CARE. It's only 8pm and I'm alone in a hotel room listening to partying and bar music. Gawd if the tables were turned we would never be here. That's what makes this so disturbing. He is so clueless.

"We were at the cigar bar, I'm surprised we didn't see you there." This was before diner. Yeah, I'll just pull up a chair and drink a coke and then deal with him at diner too.


I WANT TO GO HOME!!!!!!!!

ronf

If it where me, I'd curl up on the bed and have a good cry, wait for morning, and don't pick a fight on the way home. It could be one long a%^ ride. Pretty soon you'll be back in your own bed, with your own shower and all the little comforts of home. Just focus on that.

Renarde

Feel free to vent here! Say whatever you want as long as it helps you stay sober. Do you have a therapist? One might help you determine what you want from your marriage and if that is possible.

22NGONE

Hello. Alcoholics being selfish and self centered as we are... don't usually spend too much time worried about other people. Maybe you could find something to do by yourself in Florida until it's over. I kinda wish I was in Florida right now, it's 18 degrees here... and that's the high! When you return home a discussion with your husband about your relationship and mutual respect may be in order. Remember, it's your sobriety!

ru12

I'm sorry for the stress. I'd probably just go home if I were in that situation. But I can be pretty selfish about my sobriety. I wish you peace.

KateL

I don't think you are being selfish or self centred. We do have to look after ourselves, but I. personally, bend over backwards thinking of others, but I'm no good to them unless I keep myself well first. xx

robgt350

i dont think you are being selfish. sometimes you have to do what you have to do. is there anything you can go do to take up your time and releive some stress? come to the chat room and talk to some people, it really helped me out

PhaseTwo

If the hotel has a gym burn off some of the stress and anger exercising that's what I did and still do when I need to