gaaaaaaaaaah frustration
 

I came so close to drinking tonight, narrowly avoided it, but its left me feeling sore and wounded.

After 3 months of being sober, i've been very isolated but OK, but started a new job recently (after being made redundant) and tonight was the christmas party of this new company.

After being isolated for so long, and with these new people, I didnt want to give the wrong impression and not go, so I was going to go to this party. But then, I felt the feelings of wanting to drink, getting stronger through the day. About an hour before I was supposed to leave I realised I would drink if I went. So having had a very long conversation with myself, im sat at home in my pyjamas and am sober.... but feel a bit battered and bruised from the fight..

To go to a party and start drinking after 3 months, would definitly lead to me saying something incredibly stupid to someone, id be drunk after 1 drink. So I know its the right thing to do.

But, now the loneliness blues are gnawing away at me... how f'in annoying...

I know what you mean. I have been sober almost a month now and while I am feeling great, I am very isolated right now. I have my husband but I just don't see my friends lately (usually it would be several times a week) but it always involved alcohol. It is how I relapsed every single time. I would get fed up with night after night of staying in and just watching movies or reading and decide that I can see my friends. Ultimately, I would just be bored while they sat around getting smashed, so I would give in.
You did the right thing. It sucks for now, but it has to get better right? I just posted that it is my b day weekend. I want to go out so bad and celebrate but I may just have to stay put this year if I start to hear that alcoholic voice going after me. It sucks but absolutely worth it.

I just came back from my office party. Had lunch and a virgin ceasar with extra spice. The party was starting, people started getting drunk and I pretended my son got hurt so I had to leave.

Voila. My get out plan worked. Watch a nice movie in your pajamas, and have a relaxing drink like herbal tea. Hang in there!! You did what needed to be done. Be proud of that!!

Green tea and a movie called "Mud" - not a bad movie.

The weird thing is, that when I was drinking I didnt really socialise, sure I would go out and be near people, other people drinking and might strike up a conversation, but very rare I would actually go out with anyone.

So difficult to understand why isolation is a problem, or maybe thats one reason I drank, so that I didnt care about the isolation?

Who knows.. not me !

With that decision you made, you became
responsible in your recovery.

Good Job..!!!!! :)

It's not easy, especially this time of year! You did great. Hugs

Hey - MrTumble - way to go!!

I am going to my office Christmas do this year and will happily stay sober - even last year (whilst in active alcoholism) I stayed sober (not that I remember, lol!). Frankly my view is that I treat our do as an opportunity for a good meal :)

You did a fabulous job and have lots of people here who care and who can help you not be lonely

I am really questioning your judgment MrTumble.

Mud was a pretty awful movie.

Stick to sobriety, you do it way better than movie reviewing. :)

Mud was ok. It reminded me of some kind of huckleberry finn / tom sawyer story.

So Proud of you MrTumble! You just took an important step to protect your sobriety! It will get easier... :You_Rock_

Nice work Tumble.

You did what needed to be done. It's not always easy, I am right there with you. I've had to bow out of some really big social events, things with my friends. Worse yet, with my buddies my only excuse is "Sorry, I'm an alcoholic. I can't come to these things right now". With work, you have some easy outs. Use them. Glad you did.

As for your alone time, I can also identify. Perhaps near the end of your drinking days you drank so much alone because frankly, you had nothing else to do? I know that was the case for me. I'd also been jobless and girlfriend-less thanks in part to alcohol, so there really wasn't much left. Drinking always kept me busy though, even when I was alone. It was my only hobby by the end. Perhaps that's your story too?

My advice would be don't sweat the isolation too much right now. Don't overblow it and wail "I'm going to die aloooone!" - it won't be that way.

However, you're going to have to learn how to create a new sober social life. That's the trick. A little hint: start planning some breakfast/morning events, because that will be your bread & butter.

Great that you didn't succumb xx

You get to wake up in the morning without a hangover! For me that erases all guilt and anxiety about not going. Pat yourself on the back.

I think that is awesome that u didn't put yourself in the middle of all that temptation. Give yourself a pat on the back!

Hey Tumble,

As a former, recovering isolator, the urge to seclude myself didn't just go away when I stopped drinking. Obviously, isolating was part of my alcoholic routine. I only drank alone. I didn't want to deal with other people. It was just me and the bottle, and I was fine with that at the time.

So I got sober and those urges to withdraw were still there. I still fight them now. But when I push myself, I find I am the happiest when I'm surrounded by people who care about me. Sober people.

Sometimes it takes a little effort. I learned early on, sobriety can just be plain uncomfortable at times. But the payoff is so worth it. It's a LOT easier to push away thoughts and temptations of isolation and drinking when you have a sober friend to call or hang out with.

But I do think you made the right choice in skipping the party. That's not isolating. That's common sense for someone who only has a few months sober.

Keep it up. Not every sober day is going to be something awesome and magical. Sometimes the days are just blah. But blah is infinitely better than drinking away your life. All the best :)

I also think you made the right decision and praise you on that. Keep it up!

Guys, thanks for the comments and encouragement. It's 6:30am, now awake with no hangover, and really, that alone justifies missing the party.

It would of been so stupid to spend those few hours drinking, I would of added nothing of value to my life, but maybe next party I will have the strength to go and enjoy the company of these people and also the grilled Argentinian steak (and dessert of chocolate fondant), mmmmmmmm !

It also reminds me that drinking only ever leads me in one direction. There's no option to attend a party and drink a few, I would get drunk and then it would just progress until I was drinking every night again whether I wanted to or not, which leads to me being more miserable and wanting to quit. Its like Groundhog Day without the comedy...

Anyways, thanks all :)

Argentinian steak and chocolate fondant!!! Y U M :)

Creating a new sober life....... Easier said than done. Hope you get through more tough days. Hugs to you.