Not good
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,372
geez Max - you make it sound like you've already decided to give up.
It's never too late to fight back
I dunno whats going on but if you want to stay sober, fight for it - get support, make plans.
If you're feeling bad ok - do what you can, even if it's just posting here.
think towards the long term - how will drinking help?
It can't. It won't.
Prayers from me too
D
It's never too late to fight back
I dunno whats going on but if you want to stay sober, fight for it - get support, make plans.
If you're feeling bad ok - do what you can, even if it's just posting here.
think towards the long term - how will drinking help?
It can't. It won't.
Prayers from me too
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 300
dee. im fighting my hardest. that how i havent drank in 4 months.
just that..i'm being realistic, its quite petrifying.
the huge possibility of me being a statistic is...well...oh man. the doctors face kinda said it all.(will never forget it)
the sad thing is I love life
alcohol draws me in...cant believe i'm writing this.
Thanks always for your help dee...your a good man.
just that..i'm being realistic, its quite petrifying.
the huge possibility of me being a statistic is...well...oh man. the doctors face kinda said it all.(will never forget it)
the sad thing is I love life
alcohol draws me in...cant believe i'm writing this.
Thanks always for your help dee...your a good man.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 2,728
You know what? Alcohol almost killed my husband. He looked at me weeks after skidding down a road and scalping himself, he told me he couldn't do it. It had a hold on him. It was in his soul. He. could. not. do. it.
He's doing it and you can too!
You do not have to be a statistic. You have 4 months sobriety. You can have a lifetime of sobriety.
One day at a time. If that's too much, one minute at a time.
He's doing it and you can too!
You do not have to be a statistic. You have 4 months sobriety. You can have a lifetime of sobriety.
One day at a time. If that's too much, one minute at a time.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 300
all it will take - is for me to be no longer afraid of drinking anymore.
and if that time comes...that's it i guess.
im afraid...its a huge reason why i'm here.
everything! was a trigger for me today..was intense.
and if that time comes...that's it i guess.
im afraid...its a huge reason why i'm here.
everything! was a trigger for me today..was intense.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 2,728
When you're so stressed out like that, plug your ears, cross your eyes and take 10 deep breaths standing on one foot. If you can do that without falling over then you just took your mind off of a trigger and put it somewhere else... now, did you not?
I'm fooling with you but it could help. I don't know if it will but you could try!
What I would tell you is this: Don't worry about tomorrow. Lets just get through today. If today is too long, lets just get through this hour.
I'm fooling with you but it could help. I don't know if it will but you could try!
What I would tell you is this: Don't worry about tomorrow. Lets just get through today. If today is too long, lets just get through this hour.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,372
When I first came here to SR I would read posts and it would almost seem like some people had sobriety conferred upon them - they got sober, they suffered no self doubt, no cravings, no setbacks....
Who knows it might be that way for some, but it certainly wasn't for me.
20 years of drinking and nearly 30 years of drugging did not die easily. I had to fight and fight hard to stay sober.
Some night I would work up a sweat fighting my inner demons....but I gave it all I had.
I changed my life - I dropped friends, I changed my routines, I stopped going out for a while. I really wanted this change, because I knew, for certain, drinking would kill me if I didn't stop.
I found support too - reinforcements.
SR helped me - other people use AA or counselling - some use rehab.
I was prepared to do anything - whatever it took ...if you're prepared to do the same - to do anything except raise a drink to your lips again - you have nothing to fear Maxx.
That voice of self doubt - that voice that keeps mocking your efforts and mentioning that 'forever is a long time dude'...
thats your AV.
and It lies.
D
Who knows it might be that way for some, but it certainly wasn't for me.
20 years of drinking and nearly 30 years of drugging did not die easily. I had to fight and fight hard to stay sober.
Some night I would work up a sweat fighting my inner demons....but I gave it all I had.
I changed my life - I dropped friends, I changed my routines, I stopped going out for a while. I really wanted this change, because I knew, for certain, drinking would kill me if I didn't stop.
I found support too - reinforcements.
SR helped me - other people use AA or counselling - some use rehab.
I was prepared to do anything - whatever it took ...if you're prepared to do the same - to do anything except raise a drink to your lips again - you have nothing to fear Maxx.
That voice of self doubt - that voice that keeps mocking your efforts and mentioning that 'forever is a long time dude'...
thats your AV.
and It lies.
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Engerland
Posts: 897
Max
I thought just like you are doing now but drinking and an alcoholic death are not inevitable my friend. Please keep resolute and things improve. Wish i could tell how many times i gave in to what i thought was my fate, only to find that yet again it was not to be. That just left me with the job to do all over again.
It will come right my friend.I never believed those who said it would, not in my hopeless situation. I was different,worse than them and not worth what they had. I didn't deserve it.
I was wrong and so are you.
Be resolute.
Please.
It will work out.
G
I thought just like you are doing now but drinking and an alcoholic death are not inevitable my friend. Please keep resolute and things improve. Wish i could tell how many times i gave in to what i thought was my fate, only to find that yet again it was not to be. That just left me with the job to do all over again.
It will come right my friend.I never believed those who said it would, not in my hopeless situation. I was different,worse than them and not worth what they had. I didn't deserve it.
I was wrong and so are you.
Be resolute.
Please.
It will work out.
G
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 300
i am fighting for my life. actually cried today dee! wish i could have some ''slips' available..but ive been told it could be fatal . been having great days with sobriety. but today was special.
hit a brick wall. feels like i'm experiencing something spiritual or..dunno. I need help.
hit a brick wall. feels like i'm experiencing something spiritual or..dunno. I need help.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,372
I'm not sure what happened today Maxx but the bad days are the days you have to bunker down, post as much as you can here, and make a solid cast iron commitment not to walk out the door.
9 times out of 10 the following day looks a lot brighter. I hope it's that way for you
D
9 times out of 10 the following day looks a lot brighter. I hope it's that way for you
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 852
Max I'm really pulling for your bro. I've drank 3 times since detox and each time I woke up the next day so upset and completely regretting drinking. Being sober is so much better! Trust me, drinking doesn't help anything, it makes it worse. Just don't drink man. No matter how bad you may be feeling, drinking will only make it much worse.
Stay strong dude!
Stay strong dude!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 300
Originally Posted by afloatsober 
Max
. Wish i could tell how many times i gave in to what i thought was my fate.
. Wish i could tell how many times i gave in to what i thought was my fate.
thx afloatsober..i'm giving all i got.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 2,728
Sex with broads n booze. And you feel you're missing out?
Well, I'd hope you'd miss out on sexually transmitted diseases and to love your body, mind and soul enough not to trash it with booze to the point where you're in the hospital. If a woman can sleep with you on the first night, she can sleep with anyone AND she'll pass what Joe Blow gave her on to MaxxPower. Gosh, that sounds like so much fun Max. I mean waking up someday to see your willis all funky. I mean to hell with your pancreas now your manhood just got owned.
Well, I'd hope you'd miss out on sexually transmitted diseases and to love your body, mind and soul enough not to trash it with booze to the point where you're in the hospital. If a woman can sleep with you on the first night, she can sleep with anyone AND she'll pass what Joe Blow gave her on to MaxxPower. Gosh, that sounds like so much fun Max. I mean waking up someday to see your willis all funky. I mean to hell with your pancreas now your manhood just got owned.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 300
Originally Posted by Dee74
I'm not sure what happened today Maxx but the bad days are the days you have to bunker down, post as much as you can here, and make a solid cast iron commitment not to walk out the door.
9 times out of 10 the following day looks a lot brighter. I hope it's that way for you
D
9 times out of 10 the following day looks a lot brighter. I hope it's that way for you
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 300
Originally Posted by BoxinRotz
Sex with broads n booze. And you feel you're missing out?
Well, I'd hope you'd miss out on sexually transmitted diseases and to love your body, mind and soul enough not to trash it with booze to the point where you're in the hospital. If a woman can sleep with you on the first night, she can sleep with anyone AND she'll pass what Joe Blow gave her on to MaxxPower. Gosh, that sounds like so much fun Max. I mean waking up someday to see your willis all funky. I mean to hell with your pancreas now your manhood just got owned.
Well, I'd hope you'd miss out on sexually transmitted diseases and to love your body, mind and soul enough not to trash it with booze to the point where you're in the hospital. If a woman can sleep with you on the first night, she can sleep with anyone AND she'll pass what Joe Blow gave her on to MaxxPower. Gosh, that sounds like so much fun Max. I mean waking up someday to see your willis all funky. I mean to hell with your pancreas now your manhood just got owned.
Wasn't even remotely thinking about that kinda stuff. I have a girlfriend. I've changed allot of things in my life.
i'm currently struggling with never being able to drinking a nice glass of wine with my christmas dinner..etc. EVER again.. those kinda things.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,372
Paws. I dunno...probably not.
Sounds like you've accepted intellectually that you need to quit, but your heart is doing backflips over finally and forever committing to that idea.
It's a common enough reaction - it's the start of the festive season....your first one sober.
Maxx, my drinking defined me.
I thought that was my destiny, too, and probably genetically when you look at my family.
but...I nearly died. I have several mini strokes. I decided I didn't want to accept a destiny where I died at 40, so I changed.
Funny thing was, after a while it became apparent that sober me was the real me - I recognised myself from my youth, before I started to write myself off.
It was the other guy - the drunk - who was inauthentic. He started as a role I played to get past being shy, or being sensitive or not having many friends.
I played the role so long I forgot he was an act.
There's nothing inevitable about you returning to drinking Maxx.
Like I said, it depends entirely on how much you want to stay sober and how far you're willing to go to make that happen.
Think about it. Think about your life til now and what bought you here.
Think about who you want to be.
Think about the real you
D
Sounds like you've accepted intellectually that you need to quit, but your heart is doing backflips over finally and forever committing to that idea.
It's a common enough reaction - it's the start of the festive season....your first one sober.
Maxx, my drinking defined me.
I thought that was my destiny, too, and probably genetically when you look at my family.
but...I nearly died. I have several mini strokes. I decided I didn't want to accept a destiny where I died at 40, so I changed.
Funny thing was, after a while it became apparent that sober me was the real me - I recognised myself from my youth, before I started to write myself off.
It was the other guy - the drunk - who was inauthentic. He started as a role I played to get past being shy, or being sensitive or not having many friends.
I played the role so long I forgot he was an act.
There's nothing inevitable about you returning to drinking Maxx.
Like I said, it depends entirely on how much you want to stay sober and how far you're willing to go to make that happen.
Think about it. Think about your life til now and what bought you here.
Think about who you want to be.
Think about the real you
D
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Engerland
Posts: 897
Max
Thanks for sharing what you have. Its no good just opening up when all seems rosy. The reality is that things do get tough from time to time. Someone said on here recently that they 'lean in' to uncomfortable feelings, emotions and truths in order to deal with them and move on.. That made sense to me. I tried it and it works.
nO MORE RUNNING.....
I have often been told that feelings won't kill me but another drink probably will.
One i accepted that for me drink simply was off the menu of 'solutions' to my disappointment at being me, that it would never work again for me, i HAD to learn other ways from those that have gone before me.
I am learning slowly and sometimes painfully, but i am learning.
So can you mate.
G
Thanks for sharing what you have. Its no good just opening up when all seems rosy. The reality is that things do get tough from time to time. Someone said on here recently that they 'lean in' to uncomfortable feelings, emotions and truths in order to deal with them and move on.. That made sense to me. I tried it and it works.
nO MORE RUNNING.....
I have often been told that feelings won't kill me but another drink probably will.
One i accepted that for me drink simply was off the menu of 'solutions' to my disappointment at being me, that it would never work again for me, i HAD to learn other ways from those that have gone before me.
I am learning slowly and sometimes painfully, but i am learning.
So can you mate.
G
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