Age In Recovery
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
I think there is something to be said on both sides of quitting young and quitting old respectively. What is more important though, I think, is what one realistically does with their new lifestyle then is the chronological timing of it. A person can waste out a sober life too. Quitting itself is no guarantee of a well-lived life. It takes change and sustainability of success within the said new life.
What is success? Personal choices make all the difference. Quitting certainly begins an early success, but even so, eventually the quit recedes into the past and life continues forward and beyond. With a new start the playing field is leveled out in both camps, so to speak, imo.
Life is what we make of it, young or old, yeah?
What is success? Personal choices make all the difference. Quitting certainly begins an early success, but even so, eventually the quit recedes into the past and life continues forward and beyond. With a new start the playing field is leveled out in both camps, so to speak, imo.
Life is what we make of it, young or old, yeah?
Sober from 11/19/13-1/18/14
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Los Angeles CA
Posts: 177
I'm 36 and I have never really tried to, or thought I *had* to, quit drinking/pills until NOW. It was always me, my identity, my life. I have two kids, a preschooler and a elementary schooler, and even that didn't seem to matter... until something clicked a couple weeks ago. I think the older you get, the more compounded the addiction(s) become, the more shameful moments, the more close calls, the more hangovers, the more "what am I doing to my life, to my family's life?" conversations in your head, it just all finally hit me. I NEED TO STOP OR I WILL DIE AND RUIN LIVES IN THE PROCESS.
I definitely wasn't ready in my 20s or early 30s. I'm thankful that something finally clicked.
I definitely wasn't ready in my 20s or early 30s. I'm thankful that something finally clicked.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
What is more important though, I think, is what one realistically does with their new lifestyle then is the chronological timing of it.
D
Mini Novel Post Writer
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
I have a great amount of respect for anyone who quits at any age but I do have to say that being older made it easier for me.
I see the posts from those in their 20s and I have to hand it to you guys and stand and applaud. I know how the pressure in your younger years is harder. Everybody is drinking, it's just what you do. As you get older that partying seems to level off a bit (well, for the normies anyway). Us older alcoholics list of "close" friends (aka fellow drinking buddies) just gets shorter. We can always find someone to drink with!
I don't feel any less happier that I'm sober at 51. Just glad that I finally made it here!
I see the posts from those in their 20s and I have to hand it to you guys and stand and applaud. I know how the pressure in your younger years is harder. Everybody is drinking, it's just what you do. As you get older that partying seems to level off a bit (well, for the normies anyway). Us older alcoholics list of "close" friends (aka fellow drinking buddies) just gets shorter. We can always find someone to drink with!
I don't feel any less happier that I'm sober at 51. Just glad that I finally made it here!
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Having got sober young at 22, I think there are some differences. I have noticed that not many alcoholics manage more than about 10 years of solid alcoholic drinking. There is usually an early period where there is some control.
I managed 9 years of full on alcoholic drinking, right through my adolesence, and through the period where my brain was developing. I am convinced this has resulted in some extra damage upstairs that I will never quite get over.
Another aspect is, having achieved nothing in my life, I never lost anything other than opportunity. An older person may have lost loved ones, a home, a business etc and have some life experience. I had none of this so getting sober was a huge act of faith that it would be worthwhile. At least the older ones have some idea of what they lost. I didn't have a clue what I was getting into.
There are also some big pluses in getting sober young. The 8th step list is often shorter, people generally seem very encouraging toward a young person trying to make good, and of course you have your whole life ahead of you.
I managed 9 years of full on alcoholic drinking, right through my adolesence, and through the period where my brain was developing. I am convinced this has resulted in some extra damage upstairs that I will never quite get over.
Another aspect is, having achieved nothing in my life, I never lost anything other than opportunity. An older person may have lost loved ones, a home, a business etc and have some life experience. I had none of this so getting sober was a huge act of faith that it would be worthwhile. At least the older ones have some idea of what they lost. I didn't have a clue what I was getting into.
There are also some big pluses in getting sober young. The 8th step list is often shorter, people generally seem very encouraging toward a young person trying to make good, and of course you have your whole life ahead of you.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Originally Posted by Gottalife 
Having got sober young at 22, I think there are some differences. I have noticed that not many alcoholics manage more than about 10 years of solid alcoholic drinking. There is usually an early period where there is some control.
I managed 9 years of full on alcoholic drinking, right through my adolesence, and through the period where my brain was developing. I am convinced this has resulted in some extra damage upstairs that I will never quite get over.
Another aspect is, having achieved nothing in my life, I never lost anything other than opportunity. An older person may have lost loved ones, a home, a business etc and have some life experience. I had none of this so getting sober was a huge act of faith that it would be worthwhile. At least the older ones have some idea of what they lost. I didn't have a clue what I was getting into.
There are also some big pluses in getting sober young. The 8th step list is often shorter, people generally seem very encouraging toward a young person trying to make good, and of course you have your whole life ahead of you.
I managed 9 years of full on alcoholic drinking, right through my adolesence, and through the period where my brain was developing. I am convinced this has resulted in some extra damage upstairs that I will never quite get over.
Another aspect is, having achieved nothing in my life, I never lost anything other than opportunity. An older person may have lost loved ones, a home, a business etc and have some life experience. I had none of this so getting sober was a huge act of faith that it would be worthwhile. At least the older ones have some idea of what they lost. I didn't have a clue what I was getting into.
There are also some big pluses in getting sober young. The 8th step list is often shorter, people generally seem very encouraging toward a young person trying to make good, and of course you have your whole life ahead of you.
Many (most?) people carry a range of regrets into their later years, but people who struggle with addictions tend to live lives in which there are but a few fleeting gaps of happiness within long stretches, often lasting years, of regret and remorse.
Achieving sobriety is a tremendous accomplishment. If it were otherwise, and if it didn't require hard work, resourcefulness and perseverance -- among much else -- then everyone would do it. It's a great thing to get sober at any time in life, but none of us can know this until we do it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Bethlehem, PA.
Posts: 1,781
Originally Posted by EndGameNYC
Many (most?) people carry a range of regrets into their later years, but people who struggle with addictions tend to live lives in which there are but a few fleeting gaps of happiness within long stretches, often lasting years, of regret and remorse.
You know, that's probably a lot more common than most people would think. You are not always struggling in the sense of not drinking but more in the sense of how to live a life free of all mood altering substances. When you spent most of your adult life doing those things it is a big change to make.
My first 2 years were almost solid depression, I'd have been glad for the brief periods of happiness. Doctors and drugs did not help at all, I gave up on that route. It wasn't until the end of the second year it began to lift. Even after over 5 years I can not let myself get too inactive or I can feel it trying to restart. Depression is a tough foe to beat, it feeds on itself.
The irony to all of this is I have 2 older friends, (late 50's) who will not quit drinking because they claim it's the only time they are happy. These are well to do people so it's not a money issue for them, they could easily afford the most expensive rehabs or treatment.
It does seem that for some, they look at it as a choice between depression or drinking. Alcohol actually makes depression worse but some people just don't want to accept that. I guess it just is what it is, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: De
Posts: 1,333
I also got sober one month short of my 18th birthday. I don't think I would of lived to be an old alcoholic. A lot of my old party buddies are dead from this disease. Life is what you make it. I was given an opportunity to step out of hell, and it was up to me to take advantage of it. It took a lot of time and patience to get to where I am in my 50's. It's my choice whether I want to life my life with a pile of crap or a pile of fertilizer. Sometimes life isn't easy but it is what I make it.
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