Why Has it been easy to quit?
 

Been an alcoholic for 25 years. Most of the time it was under control and, being a loner, nobody really knew the extent of my problem. Never tried to quit or even considered it prior to 3 months ago.

Both my parents are alcoholics but extremely functional professionally and socially. Drinking seemed natural and not a concern up until 3 months ago. I woke up, don't know the exact day, and it was clear how my life would be different without getting drunk 3-5 nights a week. Drinking would no longer dominate my thoughts during the day and managing my time around my drunk hours would no longer be an issue.

Read lots the first few days about others experiences and was fearful I would start drinking again. The stories of how difficult addiction is and the relapses are all too common. About a week went by and I realized the desire to drink was completely gone and replaced with a repulsion. Oddly enough, not a beer drinker, beer was the only type of alcohol that had any appeal.

My life isn't much different. I have more control of my time and think the relationship with my wife has improved. We had no major issues before quitting. I'm happier and am more aware of how my actions impact others. Basically, I'm the same person with some minor improvements.

Thought quitting would be a monumental task and it hasn't been. The clarity in my daily life now is why I won't ever drink again. I now know when I'm the fool - :)

I'm glad it's been easy for you siamamerican.
Maybe it was just your time to quit? :dunno:

D

Yes, that is really interesting. Maybe we do just have a time to do it, if we're lucky enough to get that realisation x

My first time quitting was fairly easy. Went almost 2 decades abs then decided I would give it a whirl again. Second time quitting was way harder. Still trying to sort out why.

I have a dear friend who's been sober almost 20 years. He got a DUI and that was it, he quit. We were talking the other night and when he first quit he went to a few meetings, but he said it wasn't that difficult because he had made up his mind that he was done and that was that.

About a year into his sobriety he thought he'd try having a glass of wine. He ended up having six, and that's when he realized, "I can't drink just one drink. Ever." He accepted that fact, hasn't touched it since then and has a wonderful life. He's such an amazing, fun person. We have more fun and laughs together now than we ever did when drinking heavily. At least we remember them!

Yours is a less common experience, yet not unheard of. My FIL was the same way. This doesn't get much attention from recovery folks for a couple of reasons, IMHO:

1) If there is no real struggle, there's not much need for program.
2) It challenges the disease\disorder view of addiction.
3) Hearing about these experiences can be discouraging for others that are struggling.

All that said, I am happy that there are folks like you for a few reasons:

1) Heavy consumption of alcohol is detrimental to good health
2) I am glad you do not need to expend the effort struggling or drinking, that time can be put to other good uses
3) Life can be hard enough, I'm happy for anyone that catches a break
4) It provides **ME** a glimmer of hope that there may one day be a medical cure for addiction problems.

I wish you well
FG

Thanks everyone! FG, well written post and I agree with all you stated. I hope I didn't come off as a jerk. Addiction is extremely challenging and was just curious if my experience is common.

Honestly not sure why it has been so easy but most likely it was a timing issue. I put myself in a bad place because of some choices I made that were non-alcohol related. The list of bad choices is endless: Affairs, self medicating through running injuries, and what I'm most ashamed of - I was mean to people that were simply being themselves.


I always knew nobody was perfect but it doesn't justify not doing the right thing. Slowly I started becoming a better person and my life turned around. I no longer was the victim but the cause of my current position in life.

It's hard to make decisions when addiction is controlling your actions to varying extents but I think this is how quitting was so easy. I simply was in a pretty good place and well grounded when I decided to quit.

I didn't have too tough of a time quitting either. For me, it was a kind of "accidental" quitting. When I first stopped, I still intended to go back eventually. That made it easy for me---I wasn't quitting forever, but only while I took some classes at my local community college. In between semesters I'd go back, I figured. Only I never did. Here I am, over five years later, still completely sober.

Oh, I have occasional thoughts about going back. Just these past couple of weeks I toyed with the idea. But it's just not worth it. Not by a long shot. So it's not really a serious temptation, because I realize how dangerous it is for me.

Obviously, my experience differs from yours in that my realization was more gradual, whereas yours appears to have come on rather suddenly. But once you have that realization, it's not terribly difficult to stay away from drugs and alcohol. Or so it seems to me.

Siamamerican, Thank you for sharing. I can relate, giving up alcohol was not a struggle for me either. Trying to moderate & control my alcohol was a huge inner struggle!! Once I gave up ( in AA they call it surrendering) , my life is one I am thankful for each & every single day.:angel2: I've made listening to fellow alcoholics the top priority in meetings because I can soo relate, and then apply knowledge gained to my real life.
Bobbi

Not to be a downer, but just don't let yourself get too confident. For me, the first month or two is the easy part. It's after that when my mind starts to believe I'm cured.

SA, you did not come off as a jerk. Not one bit. You know the saying 'I'd rather be lucky than good?'. Some people with alcohol problems are on the 'lucky' end of the spectrum. They don't have much trouble quitting and don't really need much or any 'program'. Some people with alcohol problems are on the 'unlucky' end too. They can go to meetings every day and seem to want it with all their heart and soul and still get drunk every night. Nobody REALLY knows why. Maybe it isn't luck, I'm just using that term as an approximation.

What we ***think*** we know is that the human body and mind and some include soul\spirit\what have you are the most complex machines ever discovered. And every single one of them, while similar in many ways is actually unique. Thus, the diversity of experience and 'anomalies' in this, and every other single thing to do with human beings is actually quite a simple, obvious, expectation. We don't really 'see' this in our everyday lives, we tend to generalize for practical reasons, but the facts are always there.

When I first got sober, it all seemed too easy. The thought of consuming alcohol made me nauseas. Besides a few disturbing drunk dreams, I didn't have any cravings. I'm in AA and I saw so many people around me struggling. I wondered why it seemed so easy for me to abstain. I also had little trouble accepting my status as a total alcoholic and addict, so I rarely had thoughts that I would eventually be able to drink in moderation at some point. AA has helped keep me in check.

I talked to my sponsor about it and the first thing he said was, "enjoy it, dude. Don't question things when they're going right."

But he also said that life happens. Things will inevitably come up that will test me. When that happens, I need to have the tools to deal with it.

And he was right; things did happen that tested my resolve. Major things that I was not expecting, from death of loved ones, to dealing with the end of a relationship, and finally my own serious and painful health issues. I'm glad I stuck close to AA and worked my program hard, even if it seemed so easy at the time, because when life happened, I was prepared for it.

This has been my experience as well.

It was not like this the first time. I was a mess and struggled. I did not remain sober. So although it is not that way this time, I can relate to the people that are struggling and they have more courage then I did. I hear and see what they have to deal with, yet they remain sober. Powerful examples for me.

I have asked myself what was different this time. Acceptance? My time? God? I have come to believe it was all three. I was given a gift, one I do not take lightly and I don't intend to give it back.

I am also in AA and if I did not have the program and the fellowship, I would not be sober today. When I am under stress, I want to hide. Hiding for me equals drinking. It is not just a program, steps or the fellowship. It has become my way of life. I must remain diligent and give back to keep my gift.

I never thought of moderation. I think acceptance has taken that option off the table. There was a time though, in the beginning, that I doubted if I needed the full AA program. I mean it was so easy to set it down and walk away this time.

What I have found was that it can be just as easy to walk back. Stress, anger and resentments were still there. They did not go away when I abstained. That need to chase was still there. Working the steps has replaced the running with standing in front of the issue and dealing with it. To do that, I need support. I need my sponsor and the friends I have made. I need the meetings to be able to give back as well as get out of myself.

The program, the steps, the fellowship and the friends I have made are a life long commitment to me now. I may have another drunk in me, but I do not have another recovery in me.

This has been my experience as well. I quit for over 30 years with relatively little trouble. I started again a few years ago (seemed like a good idea at the time) and am finding it much more difficult to stay quit after having decided to quit.

Quitting was pretty easy for me too. I was a weekend binge drinker, so going all week or beyond has never been a problem. But I have also failed after almost 5 years of sobriety, so I don't assume it will remain easy permanently. Where I went wrong before was being too confident in my ability to be around dangerous people and situations. In short I ended a relationship with a girl who was a very modest drinker, and started dating a party girl.

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I think it might be because you quit when things were not going bad. You just decided you didn't want to do it anymore. .

My sobreity is going well because I quit when things are up, because I realized how things could slip and didn't want it to come to that.

Don't know if this makes sense.

When I started running again (trained for a 5k), I quit overnight like it was nothing. But I relapsed when I stopped by my favorite water hole for a beer as a reward a few weeks into it. On the way home I stopped by the liquor store for a bottle of whiskey. The cycle started all over.

I am on my 12th attempt to go sober in the past two years. I am on day three. Things are different this time, as I am making a lot of lifestyle changes. Best of luck to you.

I also have had a relatively easy time except for terrible detox.
The first time I stopped was for almost 2 years, and then I thought to try moderation.
Didn't work, and quit again after 3 weeks.

I just don't think about drinking most of the time.
Actually, being on this list brings it to mind more than when I quit the first time
and didn't have a list to go to.

I think about why it hasn't been a daily struggle,
and part is because I watched my mom die a degrading and
slow death from smoking and drinking. So negative reinforcement there.

I was just done, as others have mentioned.
Didn't want to be that paranoid angry person anymore. I knew if I
didn't let it go, I would go downhill really fast.

My husband still drinks and that bothers me, but I don't let it get to the core
of me and my sobriety. I am careful not to take it for granted, but I really
don't see myself as any kind of a drinker since my attempt and failure at
moderation. I have let go of that, and now look forward instead of back.

We all have good reasons for stopping, and it is a blessing not to be thinking all the
time of the next drink. So I say thank you for the grace and good fortune.
I felt kind of guilty about this at first, so am glad to see others feel this too and
I just hope it happens to all of us one day.

Orion, do you still run or can you try some kind of training for something since that worked the first time?
Having a goal changes the focus from a goal of just not drinking. It worked once. . .

I don't know if it was easy or not to quit, it's strange to say, but I quit regardless. When I decided to pack it in, the question of difficulty did not even come up, easy or hard, it was irrelevant. I was going to quit no matter what. Failure was never going to be an option, there was simply too much at stake. Everything was at stake, I guess.

I understand that most of us formerly alcohol dependent folks quit the same way, so I don't know how unusual we are, SiamAmerican. I would think that most who quit as we did are likely to be found in places other than alcoholism support groups.

Thanks for piping up and sharing your experience, hope you stick around.